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What Do I Do? I Need Help.

I've got this female friend of mine for a while, we met back in school. We've been on touch since then. Thing is, whenever we are together, she raises a marraige issue, anything that makes the word "marraige" pop up. I actually have that in mind , i think she knows dat too but i'm hesitant to say a thing 'cos i'm still trying to tidy up my act. She's working and doing good, she likes me, i know. Pls, how do i handle this.

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5 answers

hmmmm wait till she slip out of your hand before you know when you are ready,

Some guys are just amasing when creating excuse why they can't mary a woman. Instead of telling her outright that you can't marry her, you are playing waiting games. It is not easy to be dating a woman whose mind is on marriage while the man still think of looking for a better alternative.

while I may agree that you may want to sort out somethings, I quite see no logic in why you can't discuss it with her when she is working and confortable. I am sure she may understand.

The puzzle she is trying to solve is " Are you are marriage type?" Or are you just using her as a back-up?"

If you can't marry her just tell her so and break away from her instead of letting her have a false sense of security until it is too late,

The decision is yours to make,

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The basis for any meaningful relationship is communication. Please just tell her, look at it this way. You both sure discuss alot of issues but you are more comfortable telling all Nairalanders dis problem instead of dat one person u r thinking of marrying? Comunication na baba!

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Yes, keep talking. Besides I guess you are nursing a sense of insecurity. Probably she earns more than you do, and you are not comfortable with that. You think she might ride you on that ground. Never mind, be a man, let her wealth help you up. Soon, you will earn as much if not more. Even if you earn more than her today, tomorrow she may take the lead. Learn to live with the situation. Talking helps.

As a chief in my community, I come across this situation all the time. My counsel that has always worked is ,caution, talk it over. God help you.

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You guys just gotta keep talking. Dats it, if you like her then tell her you do but you've gat to put things in order first before thinking of settling down. If she's down with that, then keep rolling and if she is not, let her go find some one who is ready. Simple. Ain't difficult at all.

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You really do not need a help here. The help you need has ben provided by the woman. Talk this over with her, not really proposing to her. All she wants is to know your own view of things. By talking both of you will reveal your low and high points.

This way you will discover if she is the type you want to marry. Nothing wrong in she popping up marriage related issues. Every lady wants to marry. If she is your type, do the necessary due diligence. Plus do not shy away from such issues when they crop up. Be candid in your discussions with her, it doesn't matter if it will hurt her feelings. That will even afford you ample opportunity to know her more. Communication is a vital issue in marriage. Start it now so you will know your woman better. You might even discover that she will soon be the one to keepm away from you.

FINAL WORD: If you think she is the one, tell her your present predicaments, and both of you will agree on how best to plan the future. If she has enough trust, she can wait for you.

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