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What Effect Does Marriage Have On You?

for us yet to marry, tell us more from the difference between being single and getting married, how has it changed you personally? good or bad? any lessons? if you can have it another way, would you want to get married or you regret it?

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115 answers

Are all the threads from married people or divorcees?

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lol men dont seem very comfortable talking about stuff like this. I only know one uncle who doesnt mind spending time to talk about his marriage . . . only he's an old school fellow.

This thread is more for the women . . . havent learnt much besides that word "compromise".

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whoa i havn't read it yet! that gotta be difficult , how does she deal with it.

Another thing is money! is it advisable for you and your partner have the same account? if you have a personal must he knows, vice versa

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@ Gucci did you see the other one about a woman who actually caught her man in bed pants down with another female

Not all marriages are good and some are worse than others.

Sadly women in Nigeria have to deal with so much and most of the ones in unhealthy marriages stay because of lack of finances and soceital stigma as do many women all over the world esp the lack of finances part.

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welldone and clap for yourself

your warped sense of reasoning, thinking and level of maturity doesnt surprise me, no wonder your name is GUCCI_BABE!

you are a very good girl!

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@ gamine,these are just 2 of the several from unknown names.

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-165735.0.html#msg2728916

http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-52335.0.html#msg1097492

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@BRAsh

You G AY Bottom shouldn't be on the thread, look for a thread with info on "Gay Marriage" Only a B itch will act like you do, go F uck yourself. f ucking Bottom hole!

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Leilah And SistaWoman are not Nigerians.

i guess that spells a lot

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brash

my thread *sowieee**,

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No nairalander will come and say

this n that is wrong with their marriage.

Everyone wants you to believe its all smooth sailing on the Caspian sea.

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yeah! this is very good convo o, any more experiences? im sure not every one has it that easyy ( heard couple of shocking stories)

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very interesting thread

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Like a popular comedian said Marriage is like subscribing for Cable TV and only able to watch one channel.Just Kidding dont want any Married folk cussing me out

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I am not trying to say he is cheating. But that situation happened to my aunt, they grew up and went to the same uni in Nigeria, they were much in love. she comes from a wealthy family. After her father stopped her from going abroad for any reason because they were well off. Her so called husband, got an american visa. she stole money to pay for his visa, his plane ticket in short she always looked after him financially. before he left she got pregnant for him and they both wanted the baby and he was as desperate as she was, he left for the first year they were coping. after a while she stop hearing from him,. no one knew his where abouts, later she discovered he has married someone else in america and also impregnated her. its a long story!

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She's a good wife, she takes care of her children.

She's filing for his papers

She's doing everything a wife can do and more.

I don't think he'll do anything silly to lose her.

Men are not that silly, even if they pretend to be.

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 hmmn when you finally know. cheaters don't always get caught at their first try, a smart husband wouldn't disappear for no reason. believe man has so much excuses,  however which way i dont want to be the last to know!  i feel you on that!

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It's been nice chatting.

good nite y'all.

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Having said all this if my man ever disappears for days and weeks without him being gone on work related stuff or if I ever get wind that he's cheating,that's it

I'm gone.

AIDS is real and I refuse to be killed by a third leg.

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whoaaa is she kidding me? she must have some kind of faith in a man, but i must tell you, you got to use your head not your heart sometimes. some woman are so much in denial. thinking my husband would not cheat, but then leave him so distance. to me thats the beginning of a broken home,

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@oyinye

 I said that years ago , and believe me one day you would have to think about it. The most stressful part of not marrying yet, is when your parents are like,  your friend so so so, just got married,, or remember your friend from childhood . " she has a baby" . I remember when i used to hide my relationship from my parents. Now its like the Talk, so who is your fiance, blah blah blah, and when you are in a long relationship you have to think about it sometimes. i used to be so Naive, thinking " i don't know why people always think of  if this person going to settle down with that person vice versa, until now. then its like an eye opener for me. and its such a serious issue. we really need to learn.  i promise you,  its coming at your door pretty quick!

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Yes he needs to get a job and fast too.

and I'll help whatever way I can

Queenisha ain't babysitting no grown man

but I won't question his manhood while he's unemployed.

I must admit that I haven't been in this situation for any length of time

For women who work and their men is sitting at home watching Montel,I have no idea how they do it.

It must not be easy

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so if you don't tell him to find a job. the burden is on one person's head and that could cause problem, i think some days you might have to let it out, trying to talk nice Always is not going to solve the problem

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Plz, what are the Dos and Don'ts of spicing up your marraige.

I just had a dispute with a NLer who thinks having sex on his mother's bed is the best way to go. Do you agree?

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i can overlook anything else but a selfish woman i certainly cant.

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what about the compromise you talked about, can't you overlook somethings for the sake of love and marriage. no one is perfect, so you should expect some flaws!

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I would add nagging and selfishness on this list too. nothing turns me off faster than a "me-me first" woman.

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Yay! I did not even see [b]KarmaMod [/b]online.

I've wanted to ask you, how did you feel when you met your husband?

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No hannibal.

It's an emotional one usually brought on by an earlier traumatic experience in most cases.

It can be overcome by the husband being understanding.

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my brother, your sisters are safe in the hollow of Papa's hands. gnite.

My sister, its easy if you are determined to hold out.

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Im wrong for that ke? Did you not see that video of a 3 year old party and how those babies were dancing with grown ups applauding like idiots. Disgusting

Same difference. Actually no. Haitians are better human beings.

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Stop deceiving yourself.

Every man knows something.

Whether u like it or not, men compare notes and if they every realise they are being short-changed, they seek help outside.

U won't hear anything TRUTHier than this from moi.

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easier said than done

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this is beautiful. 6 pages all happiness please keep it up. i gotto go now. it is 2.19am london time the mrs is back home now. God bless you all.

brother david, my sisters were last seen hanging out with you so make sure they are all well taken care of.

i am out

seconded - God's grace is available

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 you right another unrealistic ego of overpowerment men can't let go

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With the benefit of hindsight, if i were to go back to being 17 again . . . i'D NEVER test drive till i marry. Its just a bolus of crap . . . a waste of time and unecessary weight on the shoulders of the woman you end up with shld she be a virgin and inexperienced.

Better to fumble around with a woman i truly love from the depths of my heart, afterall we both have "till death do us part" to figure out what pleases us the most.

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They're very lazy. Dont want to teach anything.

They think everyone is like the jamos who started when they were toddlers

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It's been a great thread.

I think the test of a happily married woman is to ask her if she would do itagain with the same person.

I have friends who have said that knowing what they know now,they would have married someone else

But that's not my situation.

If I went back again to that time way back in the nineties,I would marry my husband all over again.

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There lies the irony.

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ROFL.

Remember I've said this several times,if I ever have a divorce (God forbid)

There's no way I'll ever get married again

what for?

I'm putting all my efforts into this one

and leaving no stoned unturned.

If it ever goes wrong (God forbid)

I would leave knowing that I did all that I was expected to do

so why woud I want to invest my efforts into another relationship?

I'll just raise the kids and wait for the grankids.

The last time I said this,almond joy agreed whole heartedly.

I'm not willingly to start afresh learning ,pleasing and loving someone else.

No way!

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queenisha

how long have you been married?

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"Onyinye, *shakes head* Onyi Bekee. . . . you and that onu of yours is nsogbu. And will always be. *laughs* You are just like your father. Headstrong. Amuta when to imecha it. A man is a man. How many times have you na nna crossed eh? Because I na think you are right. A man ego will never leave him,so you must learn to work around it. . . .

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dont believe the hype. remember that ugly phrase " as seen on television". believe me marraige is a beautiful institution. the problem are its players. full of 100th division league amateurs, childish and selfish people.

wedding ceremonies dont last more than a day the beauty of a marraige lasts a life time and by God's providence into generations ahead.

if you are a praying person pray for such a marraige and more importantly pray to be such a person that God can use build such a relationship.

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i didnt expect you to. You have a lot of work to do. Good thing you're learning here.

your mom is basically saying the same thing Queenisha has said, up to you to make your choice. As you lay your bed . . . abi how oyinbo man dey talk am?

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all is forgiven now. i remember someone attacking me for saying she was not as bad as she comes across. she made sense most of the time but being in a forum where people can easily hate from thread to thread didnt help.

most of my sisters are her cabon copy. you will never read them right listening to them. we name some idiag , adafi and those wicked names. surprise surprise they are all married and having peaceful homes. i always loved her and wish her well. we should learn to argue without getting too personal

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Anyways, hey he can be fearless. But I don't want no man who feels he gotta be fearless all the time. That is just utter stupidity to me. Because they be the ones who are weak as hell. I don't want someone who has a huge ego and feels that just because he is among the male species he has some of authority over me.

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Definitely agree with you on this. Lol I think the girls who do this, do it as a way to DETER their men from cheating around. after all the dude cant bring someone else if he has his girl living there. Little do they know, if a legally married man can still cheat with his legal wife and kids under his roof, nothing is stopping one who isnt legal yet

See, examples of how you really do have a good husband and not an egomaniac. Alot of husband esp Naija men would be like "After all Im the husband, I will take on any decision I wnat and after the fact I will tell the wife about it" and when poo hits the fan and the money is gone, frustration is then taken out on the wife.

anyway good job with the thread osisi.

Emmy Time!

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you will be marrying a dangerous man. marraige is not that difficult. it is a beautifull institution. God meant it for good

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 This is even harder  then  i thought   a tiger?? what if he bullies everyone around and no one likes him esp family and friends.  so its better to have a tiger man that is really strict then a gentle easy going guy?

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Please tell Onyinye. . . . . .Her comments are so outlandish.

She wants a mumu husband. Who prays for such?

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