What emotions do you really experience when your close friends get married? Are you jealous? How to deal with your feelings and not spoil the wedding? Find out top tips here right now!
Plenty of you young girls in our world, have already been in this situation a lot of times. Your friend is getting married and you notice a lot of unpleasant thoughts running through in your head. However, on the one hand, you are very happy for her, but on the other, you have extremely mixed feelings. Single friends and marriage is a very delicate topic.
A girl begins wondering, when her special day will come and so she is getting a little upset. Or, maybe she is happy with the fact that she will be single for a little bit longer. Here’s a short list of things that female single friends think, when their close friends suddenly began getting married, one by one. Maybe you can identify yourself with one of these ideas as well. So which of these unusual emotions applies to you?
1. Oh, we have grown up so fast!
You have just thought that life has only started, after finishing all studies, problems with finding job etc, your friends are already getting married. So you are standing there like, ‘Oh my Gosh, when have we grown up so fast? I can’t believe my best friends are getting married now!’
2. No, thanks, that is a too much of responsibility
When you see your best friend exchanging pleasant words with all those new relatives and friend, you begin thinking about the huge load of the responsibilities that will soon appear in your friend’s life. So you think, ‘Well, I can’t even believe that she will have to take care of all those people and make them happy. And, if to think about it, I surely will be doing the same thing extremely soon. Yikes!’
3. She will always have the one to date now
The first idea of envy strikes you very fast. You think about the fact that she will never have the problem of choice. ‘Her husband will accompany her on all sides, and here I am, with no one to go with!’
4. Now we will never go out like a real girl gang?
You also tend to think that it means the end of your time-tested friendship. Now, when your friend has entered into a new state, it’s obvious that she will not spend as much time with you as she used to.
5. I would feel out of place hanging out with my married friends
All your friends are finally married, and they are likely to be meeting as a pair. And, you panic thinking, ‘Why did they invite me to this party at all!’
6. How will my wedding look like?
When you look at all the beautiful, extremely lavish ceremonies and difficult planning a ceremony, you want exactly the same or even better for your own wedding too. And you can ‘catch’ yourself secretly wishing and asking your fairy godmother: ‘I wish I could have the fairy-tale wedding, too’.
7. How would I look in the wedding dress?
While your friend is all decked out in her wedding splendor, you are far away in your own dreams. You get forwarded to your own wedding venue, and ponder: ‘How will I look wearing all these tiaras, beautiful dress, makeup and jewelry?’
8. How will my prince charming look like?
As you still have not found the man of your dreams, the thought that hounds you, again and again, how will your prince charming look like when you finally find it. And, at the wedding of your friend provokes this idea even more - you are willing your knight in shining armor come on the horseback in the very near future’.
9. Will my relatives finally stop pestering me?
When you see all relatives of your friend lining to have photo with a happy couple, you suddenly realize, ‘If I get married too, all my relatives will stop annoying me at last’. That would be a real sigh of relief!
10. Can I get a charming family?
When you see a mother-in-law of your best friend pouring all her love and attention to your friend, you may feel a little sense of jealousy. And you are left to worry if you get married and join such a loving and concerned family as well. ‘Oh, will my in-laws ever be such understanding?’
Best friend is getting married before. Six tips on how not to spoil the holiday for her and you
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In 10 minutes, the best friend is waiting for her groom finally to say ‘yes’. And you don’t know what to do with your feelings. The negative emotions to someone else's wedding can be controlled, if you do not hide them from yourself.
Somewhere between festive photoset and cutting the wedding cake the happiness for your friend is replacing with the treacherous thought: ‘I should be on that place, because I'm three months older than her,’ ‘this dress would look better on me’. And by the time the guests seated in the restaurant, you think about how faster you can escape home.
And instead of flirting with a pretty cousin of the groom and cut the biggest piece of the cake, you are looking for a darker corner, where you can handle this endless, noisy and poorly organized evening.
There is also a marriage competition. Psychologists are sure that we evaluate our success on the pattern adopted in the community. And the wedding in our culture is some achievement.
Your best friend is getting married, and you're not, so there appears a tormenting question: whether everything all right with me?
Saying wishes to the young couple, you sincerely believe that they will become united family. But you doubt your friendship in future. If life of your girlfriend is changing so much, how can you save the same relationship with her?
Believe me, you can get pleasure from the wedding of your close friend. Just do not spoil it with your bad mood.
6 rules of a friend’s happy wedding:
1. Try to understand what you feel. Feel free to examine your emotions, no matter how unpleasant they may be. Tell yourself honestly: yes, I'm jealous (jealous, afraid of losing your friend, etc.), but I am a human being and I have a right to. This brings us closer to the goal, and greatly reduces anxiety. Are you afraid of being alone? Wedding has always been considered the best reason for meeting men. Worry that you will lose a girlfriend? Decide where you can go together with her husband. Worried that your maiden company will become a dreary bunch of boring ladies? Develop a new idea of a crazy party.
Start to think out of the frightening situation - and you will understand that the problem is that have been torturing you, is absolutely solvable, and therefore, it is not terrible. If it seems that the desire to have fun is irretrievably lost, go to the dance floor. Moonwalk is an excellent exercise which activates hormones of the absolutely good mood. And do not forget to smile. When a person expresses an emotion that is not felt, he soon begins to experience it in reality.
2. Being busy helps to distract from anxiety. And there is enough of work at the wedding. A friend needs your support more than ever. Meet and place guests, entertain them while the bride and groom are dancing their first dance. Try to calm the mother of a friend who is trying to simultaneously command the waiters, the guests and the newlyweds.
3. Be ready to hear the popular question ‘when will you invite us to your wedding?’ Tell them that five years ago you made a vow of celibacy in the mountain Nepalese monastery, or, either add some mystery, saying that you are secretly betrothed to the Prince of Monaco. The faster you change topic of the conversation into a joke, the less chance that a sympathetic look will spoil your mood.
4. There is always a risk that the wedding romantic will touch you so much that you will want to know immediately when your boyfriend will propose to you. But to start ‘sorting things out’ at the wedding is the best way to ruin it. Don’t forget Scarlett O'Hara's favorite phrase, ‘I'll think about it tomorrow’. And, most likely, the next day you will not even remember about this disappointment. Start to plan your own holiday right now. Note what you like and what you do not. Psychologists believe that planning the future wedding will tune you into a positive perception of the future.
5. A bride is rarely able to chat with her friends at the wedding. Usually the bride is only able to smile and answer the questions of relatives. And we think, she is married for one day, but already behaves as a distant person. But the next day, when she calls you to complain about her official husband, you will notice that her status has made you even closer.
6. To dispel doubts about the future of friendship, ask newlyweds to sign the contract. The bride promises that becoming a wife, she will not forget friends. And the groom must make a pact of non-aggression on your territory. Let the witnesses sign on the paper prepared beforehand.
Girls, who are single and friends that get married may be happy together. It’s important to face the problem and not to be afraid to solve it.
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