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What Exactly Do 'insecure' And 'trust' Mean?

I think these two words are abused, that's why I seldom use them. Let me break it down from a relationship perspective. . .

In the broadest sense, an 'insecure' person is someone that distrusts his/her partner or doesn't feel comfortable with certain 'moves', especially with the opposite se.exx right? Ok.

Trust, on the other hand, presupposes that a partner is infallible; in other words, him/her can never yield to any temptation from the opposite s.ee.x right? Ok.

Unfortunately, there is a hidden dimension to these two words. When a partner accuses you of insecurity, then it proves your suspicion(s) right. What s/he wants is for you to turn a blind eye, 'leave it for God', or accept the likelihood of their misbehaving as 'one of those things', then you'd be seen as secure.

Trust. When you voice suspicions and all s/he does is lash at you for not trusting him/her, thats a red flag. Do you really think your partner is Jesus? (even He was tempted and only his Godly grace saved him). So what or who are they to make them feel you MUST trust them? Really 'trust' simply means you should free them to do their dirt since 'that's life'.

Truth is, no one is ever 'all that' enough to think s/he's everything a partner wants for ever. Also, no one is ever 'virtuous' enough to be beyond yielding to temptation. As such, 'insecure' and 'trust' are baseless words used (often subliminally) for blackmail and deceit. Only deep thinkers would agree with me.

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^^

Professor BrownJay, lol.

Its a complex argument man. The thing is: it's incredibly difficult to catch a creeping partner RED HANDED. One doesnt have to catch her blowing her colleague's c.ock (for instance) to know that you're being played. Thats why its so easy for a 'creeper' to deny stark circumstancial evidence and blackmail you with 'insecure' or 'trust'. Its crazy man. Thats why i prefer flings or 'open' relationships with no strings attached; when you're with me, only then are you mine - we'll have a good time. Afterwards I dont give a ishh what (or who) you do. I've noticed that it's when you 'love' or put your heart in it that you get messed up and made a fool.

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you are right man that there are many out there who will misuse this words to play with men's mind and this is why i said that you shouldnt misunderstand insecurities/lack of trust with deceit. we all know that there are cheats, liars, con artist etc out there ready to say the craziest ISH to attain their own agenda but the catch is to

1) realize that it is a small percentage compare to the people who are "genuine/good/honest".

2) give everyone the chance to prove that they are good and only judge them IF they ever give you a reason not to.

3) remember that if all the women you met are cheaters/liars and low life skanks then you should probably change the ways you look for a mate.

i liked your example about a girl and her boss but remember that if you saw your girl having dinner with her boss(its still not against the law,right?) then go meet them, give your girl a fat juicy kiss, sit down at their table and ask them whats going on while looking at HER and HIS reaction.

you dont need anyone's confirmation. . . . . . . if you believe deep down your guts that there is foul play then so be it and do something about it because, even if you dont, every judgment you make from that point on will be clouded. always trust your instincts!!!!!

asking her to confirm something that you already know/believe is a waste of time.

some guys out there are too weak to face reality or make the right decisions when they find the ugly TRUTH. it doesnt matter how long you've been with someone or how many kids you have together, if the relationship was built on deceit then it needs to be "re-evaluated".

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OP:

open a dictionary

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@MrBrownJay

You should be a professor, lol. The way you systematically 'dissect' issues is inimitable.

However although I agree with some aspects of your views, I beg to differ in others. My problem with the words 'insecure', 'trust', and 'maturity' (rightly added by wavemasta), is that they are often used deceitfully by a partner to blackmail the other or put him/her on the defensive. Do you know how many times i've seen a serial cheater 'attack' his/her rightfully suspicious partner with "why are you so insecure, you ought to trust me by now". When those words are thrown around anyhow, then 'trust' me, that's a red flag. I prefer straight answers to questions rather than blackmail someone with those useless words. For example, if I ask "why should you go out for lunch with your boss, I saw you". I prefer a weak lie like "he actually forced me to, I felt awkward all through, I'm so sorry, I meant to tell you", rather than play clever by half by replying "why are you so insecure, it was just lunch; don't you trust me". Thats blackmail.

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