«Home

What Exactly Is "wife Material"?

I'm not getting any younger and I realize that sooner than later I'll have to tie the knots with some woman I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with.

Right now I am trying to determine the kind of attributes a woman would have to possess for me to tie my fate with hers for a life-time. Guys call it "wife material" but I don't know what that categorization entails.

I had a bitter experience in the not too distant past and that taught me how not to be too quick in declaring a woman 'wife material', and as I learnt, purported 'Christianity' or 'born-againism' has NOTHING to do with it.

I don't know but I think a woman should have a minimum of the following five attributes to qualify as "wife material":

1. Humility/Conciliatory Spirit.

2. Submissiveness.

3. Absence of materialism and covetousness

4. Tenderness (don't need a raucous or spiteful woman)

5. Truthfulness

I believe I can overlook a woman's umpteen other flaws if she has the above qualities. But can I find a woman who possesses those? Are those adequate to constitute a "wife material"? Guys what do you think?

Avatar
Newbie
29 answers

@ Vivadiva you are rubbish girl,you are very lucky you did not meet me before i got married,i would have taught you a lession, you have to be submissive to your man and be a good girl,ok.

dont be a confrontation lady and it wont work,men will only bleep you and leave you anyhow.

0
Avatar
Newbie

What Beijing women conference has caused.Well i wish we should go back in the days of our father and mothers,things were a lot better then.

0
Avatar
Newbie

A woman that respects her family and herself.

A woman that's honest and loving.

A woman that understands the problems and difficulties in the family with ease.

A woman that contributes in the financial debt in the family.

A woman that's sacrificial.

A woman that loves her family and doesn't let it down.

A woman that's trustworthy.

A woman that has patience and perseverance.

All these qualities makes up a wife material.

0
Avatar
Newbie

It may be incorrect to state that men desiring submissive wives is a new trend. Submissiveness of the wife to her husband has been a norm from time immemorial, and in Naija it has been a feature of many marriages in our parents' generation and the ones before. I would suggest that the unwillingness of many modern-day wives to be submissive to their husbands is what is more of a new trend.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I'll consider myself abundantly blessed to find a woman that possesses all these qualities! "A woman with a compassionate heart" sounds very appealing; too many woman these days are as hard-hearted and vile as the cruelest of men. I wouldn't want any of that because it could unhinge the beast in me and we might tortue each other to death. Compassion and tenderness in a woman melts my heart any day.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The new trend among nigerian men is now amazing!!!almost all nigerian men want a submissive wife butfail to take into consideration that most women would equally be submissive if they are adequately loved and allowd to have simple peace of mind ofcourse this excludes the the troublesome women by nature.

@poster you have not asked for too much.just be the right man,be very observant dnt be carried away by s3x or beauty as you mentioned earlier churchiness, but employ your own senses.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Most Nigerian men will have the same response to this; they arent that difficult to please! Thank God for those of us who have minds of our own!

0
Avatar
Newbie

1.Someone that is willing to receive and give in return

2. Someone that is ready to put family after God

3.Someone that sees men as a treasure to behold and appreciate

4. Someone that isn't afraid or intimidated to talk about how wonderful and lucky she is to have a man like her husband

5.Someone that the first thing she thinks of is "Looking good for her man"

6. Someone that prays for her household morning and night.

7. Someone that stands behind her husband and leads him to the right direction.

8. A woman with a compassionate heart.

9.A woman that includes his extended family when she's planning for hers

10. A woman that could plan ahead of time

0
Avatar
Newbie

The definition of a wife is any woman that can. . . .

W - Washing

I - Ironing

F - Fecking

E - Etcetera.

0
Avatar
Newbie

what is wrong with a woman being Submissive

Submissiveness is the incidence or trait of voluntarily yielding to the will of another in an  relationship.whats bad in sacrificing your ego for the satisfaction of your spouse.well sha,women say what they want to say but not necessarily what they will do

0
Avatar
Newbie

U crack me up big time bro and i cant help it.

U are the baddest guy arround.LMAO

0
Avatar
Newbie

pretty

innocent looking

nice

good cook

respectful

pretty kitten

dresses nice

0
Avatar
Newbie

I dont think therte is anything like wife material, @ poster go meet the Elders in ur family to guide you

0
Avatar
Newbie

Any girl that uses a Blackberry in naija (esp without a tangible means of livelihood) is not a wife material, lol. From the look of things these days, it's that bad.

0
Avatar
Newbie

yesssss----wetin b ur problemses

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster,

I probably misused the word "best", i guess the word should be 'the right' and yes u need to have the RIGHT attributes before u can get the MODEST attributes u stated.

I disagree with u that a woman sees submissiveness as a resentful task just because her husband has got to show her love first. The man should be the first to show the love because he proposed and marries the woman, the woman in turn does her own part. Women are tender by nature and it is mostly circumstances that change this at times and I tell u when u show love and respect ur woman there is no way she wont be submissive to u. The bible also sums marriage up in these two task to both partners.

It is not only women that marry for the wrong reasons, men do too. And ur own preferences could be different from that of the next man and vice versa. The attributes u stated above are quite demanding attributes and i think for a man to desire such attributes from a woman he in turn should have some extreme good attributes in his personality(not talking about physical and material possession)

0
Avatar
Newbie

Well I don't know that I have to possess the "best qualities desirable in a man" in other to find a woman with the modest attributes I earlier listed. If you noticed, I left out a mountain load of other attributes in my wish-list (e.g Beauty, culinary skills, home-making skills, etc.). I therefore don't think I have to be the 'best' man in the world to get a barely decent woman to live with. We all know what 'best' means to most women: rich, handsome, tall, caring, strong, romantic, funny, God-fearing and a zillion other things that I cannot possibly be all in one. I can only promise to be a decent, loving and reasonable man with a few other good qualities to boot.

Having said that, I agree with you that a man needs to show love to his wife. However I think there's everything wrong in a wife predicating her willingness to submit on her husband's readiness to show her love. The problem with this mindset is that such a wife sees submission as a resentful task, for which she needs compensation in the form of vaguely defined gestures of love by the husband. The implication is that it becomes a delicate balance of wits, so to speak. These things should be freely given, not entangled in the cliff-hangar of quid pro quo.

I'd definitely show my wife love; why should I even marry someone I can't be good to? I think that is the very purpose of genuine courtship. Prospective wives ought to know that their partner is the good type that wouldn't abuse their submissiveness. Maybe the problem is that many girls marry for the wrong reasons (money, status, good sex, looks, etc) and later complain that the husband doesn't show them love and all that. Its an inexhaustible argument really.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ur qualities will definitely attract the wife material u desire and pray for.

0
Avatar
Newbie

submissive my anuses--------

marriage is a partnership and both parties sld learn to compromise

and be equally submissive to each other

no body is the head and i aint no bodies neck

me i never claimed to be a christian am actually a full fledged aitheist

yes the bible and the koran can be a source of moral guidiance for somepeople----but some of its views can be classed as sexiest,raciest and quite discriminatory

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster,

Those qualities u stated above can be found in a woman but U as the man must also need to have the best qualities desirable in a man to get such attributes in a woman

On the issue of submissiveness, any sane woman should know if she wants to build her home, she has to be 90% submissive to her husband who in turns has to show her love  90%. Its a two way thing. Realistically, I don't think any woman no matter how religious she is would be submissive to a man that does not show her love.

0
Avatar
Newbie

i fear this excellent point is wasted on this generation of reprobates.

0
Avatar
Newbie

That's everything you desire, and expect from a lady.

0
Avatar
Newbie

the best answer you can find is in the book of the proverbs in the bible it helps a lot on this one

0
Avatar
Newbie

A wife material is a woman that has the qualities of a good wife.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I quite agree with the above. it works in my marriage, and majority of the time, he is quite right as i tend to judge or make decision emotionally.

0
Avatar
Newbie

The woman that meets the qualities you want in a wife.

Choose according to your taste.

Her imperfections might make her the perfect match for you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

what has anyone's papa got to do with anything? Some of you girls despise the word submissiveness but would be quick to claim to be good Christians. The bible is pretty clear about that.

Apart from the bible and Christianity, submissiveness is very crucial (insofar as you marry a graceful and reasonable man). Husband and wife can't hold on stubbornly to their conflicting views. When such disagreements are potentially disruptive a wise wife ought to defer to the husband (as the head of the home) for peace to reign. There'll be countless other things that I'll let go for my wife too. There cant be two captains in a ship - the practical implication of this is that one person has to take the lead and have the final say. This ain't dictatorship, its sheer necessity if chaos must be avoided. Indeed if my wife's judgment proves to be better than mine in certain areas, I'd gracefully let her be the neck that twists my head in the right direction.

I really don't see why some people fear the concept of submissiveness despite the fact that it is one of the keys to a stable, turbulence-free and successful marriage. Although a lot depends on the kind of man involved. Some men may want to abuse their wife's meekness and reduce her to a "your wish is my command sir" kind of thing. That isn't the idea I have in mind.

0
Avatar
Newbie

some pips still think its 1845---dont know its the black berry and ipad world

0
Avatar
Newbie

ur papa submissivness---r u her bloody head master

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.