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What Is Wrong With Me?

hi guys i am confused (if that is the right word to use). Well here is the story: My ex whom i was totally committed to and invested alot of time and energy in cheated on me a while ago. The cheating is out of character for him and in a way i can understand why it came about.

Now he wants to get back with me. I still like him and i know he is sincere and genuine but somehow i can't bring myself to date him again even though i know it would be for the long haul this time and we can possibly have a happy marriage. So what is stopping me? is it psychological? is it my instinct? i just don't know!

i can feel his pain cos i know he is just as confused as i am as to why i am pulling away and i think this is stopping him from expressing himself fully.

Anyone have an idea what is wrong? btw i am newly single

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12 answers

Well if you understand why he cheated, then you should be to forgive him. I'm not saying jump back into the relationship, take your time. . . assess what went wrong the last time an try to see what can be changed this time around.

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well i mean even though i tried to be there and show that i care in my little way he still felt lonely and neglected. For example due to work and other commitments i travelled alot and while i texted and called him constantly it was more annoying than anything for him especially since things were working out for me and he was going through a stressful period and he ended up falling for a girl that had all the time for him and told him what he wanted to hear

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What do you mean by the part in bold?

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You want him but only ur Eyes not ur mind

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@ busybody thank you if you can find the link please send it to me

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@nubella

On a mobile device, otherwise would have pasted this link about a lady's story in the family section on Nairaland. She's been married around 13 years and still can't get over the fact that her now husband cheated on her whilst they were still boyfriend and girlfriend.

Looking at her story and the response she received, people misconstrued her thinking that after 13 years, she just remembered and is confused UNBEKNOWN TO THEM THAT she has been carrying this hurt in her heart for the past 13 years.

Judging you from your own story, you seem similar to her in nature, in the sense that you are someone who thinks a lot, someone who dwells on issues and like to overthink (if such word exists) so i'd advise you to seek out her story and go and read and digest it, you would learn a thing or two from it and hopefully get the answer your brain, not your heart, wants to hear.

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Whoa! That's long enough to get ur bearings. Still, u need more time to be comfortable with this guy. I support the idea of becoming just friends first.

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It's easy to loose someones trust but it's hard to get it back

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I would say this is pretty simple. Give yourself some time to sort yourself out. But please tell him just that. Dont just run away and expect him to wait for you. Tell him the truth. If he truly loves you, he will wait for you to come out of your present state.

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It is certain you're feeling insecure around him,cus he broke the trust you have for him. Just be his friend for now,and you'll know if he's repentant,and also learn how to forgive him .

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Thank you guys maybe it is fear but how much time will i need? we have been broken up for more than a year already!

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