Enter into a relationship and assume that all life will be held in euphoric honeymoon or idyllic, romantic love - it's like to be miffed at a child because he or she passes through the natural maturation stages.
Any strong relationship should go through certain stages of development, but sometimes people believe that a "good" relationship - is one continuous honeymoon, which ends only with their death. This happens only in the movies and books, and that is why they end up faster.
Many couples break up or give a crack because they believe that the problems which are arising in the course of their relationship are something abnormal, loss of love, mutual misunderstanding, although in reality the relationship just "grow", they lose their innocence and become the stage of genuine intimacy, understanding and true love .
The main thing is not to stop and not get stuck on some of the steps to take each of them as something necessary and natural on the way to mutual understanding and true love, strength, marriage, family. What are the steps and how to behave correctly in order to achieve true love?
Often, there are three traditional stages of relationships - the honeymoon, the fight of ambitions and genuine love. In fact, there much more stages - eight. There may be more, but focus on these eight as the most essential, experienced by all the lovers on their way to present a strong mutual love.
Stage 1. Euphoria.
Stage 2. "Rose-coloured spectacles."
Stage 3. Fight of ambitions.
Stage 4. The transition period.
Stage 5. Gap.
Stage 6. Construction.
Stage 7. Revival of romance.
Stage 8. True love.
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1. Euphoria does not last too long, usually from three to six months. The cause of feeling euphoria is that during this period our brain stimulates the release of the "good" hormones vasopressin and oxytocin. These hormones suppress the feeling of fear. Stage of euphoria is very important, because if we do not succeed, at least temporarily get rid of the fear, very few of us dare to build a strong relationship. In the early stages of relationships, we are not aware of any problems, conflicts, do not feel the need for changes.
It is important at this stage to begin to express our needs and fears and allow your partner to do the same - it is simply vital!
Allow yourself and your partner now not to be perfect. Perfect people and the ideal relationship would be very boring, they would have bothered us faster than you can imagine and would end just as quickly as the ratio of the screen or the pages of books.
True love is valuable by the fact that it is not just a gift of fate, but also the result of your joint efforts with the partner.
2. Rose-coloured spectacles. At this stage, the release of hormones of wellness, or endorphins, decreases. It is at this stage unfaithfulness begins. People are trying to regain a sense of euphoria with a new partner, instead of giving rise to the relations and moving to a more mature level of relations.
At this stage it is better not to linger. Just to move it quickly to the more intimate, satisfying relations, it is necessary to solve the problem, not leaving them for later, and not turning a blind eye to their existence - to meet the needs of each other, especially if they do not interfere with your personal interests.
Trying to change a partner, we make him even more stretch in his positions - he will begin to change only if you change the first – (begin to give love without requiring to get something in return). This is a very well-motivated start for him to do the same.
3. Fight of ambitions. After the first veil of love falls and partners begin to see each other as they are, they begin to focus on the differences between each other, because in the first phase they look only at the attractive sides.
The most difficult thing at this stage is to get closer to the partner, to become so close to overcome the childhood wounds. Because at this stage the partners express to each other grievances that are actually had to be said to their parents.
At this stage you need to do quite the opposite of what dictate the emotions that are "under the influence of healing" from childhood.
Look for a solution through dialogue, be prepared for changes. Couples, who break up in this period, finally, unable to stand the fight of ambitions, actually had to change the pace of the relationship, not to change partners.
4. The transition period. Major changes require a transition period, to have an opportunity to change behavior and move on to the next stage.
Sometimes for changes you need a temporary break, because of the fear of loss - is the strongest motivation for the changes. Breaking of the relationships stimulates positive change and growth.
Recommendations on how to behave in this period: Expect changes and be ready for them. You need friendly dialogue, not silence or charge each other with something.
5. Stage of gap. Most couples reach this point in their relationships when they have to solve the problem of breaking. One of them is thinking about breaking or going on a break, or both decide to leave at least a few hours or a day.
The break often occurs at an emotional level, even if the couple physically stays together. If the couple does it with a fit of temper and anger, they are likely to converge. But if the couple does it with love, the relationship can be revived and even benefit from a temporary break.
Most couples need this stage of their relationship moved to a new level of intimacy. This phase can last a few hours, days, weeks, months, but most of the two months is enough to realize "empty", which arose in life.
6. Stage of construction. This is a second chance to gain a genuine, long-term love. The couple, who parted to connect and pass through this stage, enter into the strongest and close relationship. They further appreciate their relationship, because remember that they were on the verge of breaking up.
Some couples break up completely (emotionally or physically), in fear of a new stage of separation. They are afraid of problems.
Also, this period is characteristic that the conflicts and tensions caused by the rupture awaken partner passion. That's why physical proximity at this point is of particular importance.
7. Revival of romance. Whether you are building a new relationship after a break or your relationship develops calmly and progressively, so, it is time to change tactics and go on. This step is very important for any couple, but neither is easy.
It is necessary to help to your love to climb it again and again, throwing sticks in the fire of love.
8. True long love. When a couple reaches this stage - the relationship no longer causes emotional pain and childhood wounds have tightened under the influence of mutual love.
Partners are able to resolve conflicts safely, understand that they are a natural part of their life together. But there is a safe space for conflict, dialogue and work on disagreements "in the team." They understand that the conflict does not mean a break in relations.
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