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What's Really Going On In The Mind Of Babes?

Friends! What's really going on in the mind of babes ? Why will they say i love u when they mean i hate you? Why will they say i'll marry u when they mean i wont? Why will they refer to u as prince charming,the handsome love of their life,when they even prefer that ugly munster of guy to u? Oh! No! My whole world has crumbled!, I came back from the states shortly befor val to make final preparations for my wedding that'll be coming up on the 3rd of next month,& to also spend some time with my elder sister at lagos & her little 5yr old daughter.I so much love my fiancee that i always treat her like a queen,I always wish my cousin was as well shaped as she is, to the extent of puting up a trend of "pls help,my cousin is shapeless." All because i was comparing her with my babe.But just last night,i strolled out with my little neice & decides to pay her a suprise visit in their house,but on getting there,her room was locked from within & there was no responds to my knocking,so i decided to go back home,but as soon as i turned my back to leave,phcn just brought the light,i turned sharply,& since the curtains of her room were raised up,i was able to see her clearly 'pants down'with an ugly looking skinny guy.She jumped off the bed to off the light,but since the switch was close to where i was,i grabed her hand through the window,stared at her Unclad body for up to 2minutes,pushed her down & walked away, Friends,this is'nt just a story,but what actually happend to me last night, I was so sad & heartbroken,that i told the gateman not to open for her when she came this morning. She text me to forgive her,& that it was the devil's work,but can i forgive such a girl?Can i still wed a girl like that?,if i dont,what will i tell my friends when i get back to the states?Where will i start from now? Can i be able to find true love again? Are there still decent girls in nig? Oh! No! My head is pounding.I need your advice pleeeeeaaaase,

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Adolfe the only think I can honestly say is, you should start having dialogues with women more often. You should despite agreeing or disagreeing take the time to know what it is like from a woman's perspective. It isnt a game and its not rocket science. Women move based on emotion. A true man masters the ability to LISTEN, LEARN and THEN REACT. NOT! Act, Don't Listen and therefore LEARN the hard way.

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Mz DarkSkin

i'm perfectly alright

and i quite agree with you

it's just that usually i feel terrible when ladies label a guy all sorts of names simply becuz he decides to sleep around~ i'd rather call it being adventurous, we all love adventures and its enchanting magic

learn to look on the brighter side of things

do you realise that rytNOW ur body is undergoing billions of cellular functions as you breathe in and out?

Do you know how many days it takes a man's body to rebuild all that lost protein that goes of with each expulsion?

Lol

Yet you don't appreciate us

sometyms i feel like we are being gradually WORN OUT by you ladies, like we are some kind of intimacy gadgets to you

what exactly do you take a man for?

Pls we need a re-orientation

you should begin to appreciate us for what we do to you!

Lol

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Adolfe you are so full of yourself. It's unbelieveable. I'd hate to play psychologist but I take it you've been hurt by a (few) lady(ies) perhaps not too long ago. You HAVE to be speaking out of anger. I refuse to accept you actually believe it is a woman's job to stay loyal to her man and to "tame" him. A man needs to know boundaries himself. I honestly believe men ARE supposed to have more than one woman HOWEVER it is VERY important that should he decide to live a life of polygamy OR being a "Jigga low" that he informs his lady friend. The "men are ok cheating" mentality is bull.

I dont want you to "lust" after your mother as I am anti-Inbreeding HOWEVER I am asking you to look at it in a "female" perspective. Your mother being a woman I am sure she wouldn't like to be told her female anatomy is greater than her feelings. Sure men dont like women getting too emotional but with men comes baggage that the women have to bear and since we cannot throw punches around like our male counter parts we vent.

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@Mz DarkSkin

lol

you don't have to go emotional on this

let's deal with it objectively and with common sense

yes i love my mum and we have a heart to heart connection

but still i came out of her body

and that makes her body absolutely important to me.

When i was a kid (75yrs back lol) i used to desire her hugs and kisses

and it always made me feel warm and loved

see?

Your body myt actually just be the gateway to your heart

and if i desire your rigid heart, this moment, permit me to desire or discover~ the hidden and fiery pleasures of your soft chocolate body

but i cannot lust after my mum, there's a perfect distinction maintained

let me tell you this

the most attractive ones are not the ones who allow us on the first nyt (we don't value them anymore), nor the ones who don't allow us atall (we soon forget them)

they are the ones who coyly lead us between the two extremes

the most attractive lady in my life presently didn't earn that title becuz she didn't allow me the first nyt nor becuz she allowed me later

if i didn't desire her body more than that freakish little heart of hers

believe me

i myt not really value her as much as i do NOW

these things are not so hard to understand

on the other hand

yes a man has every tendency to cheat

but it's a lady's job to 'tame' it.

If a wild beast roams loose in your city now and you have a cage,

use your common sense and control the situation~ as it appears you have the power to,

it's entirely in your hands.,. stop being unwise an crying silly 'oh my bf is cheating'

or you'll end up in that cage!

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@ ibkaye

lol

i'm glad you liked me very much before NOW

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@ 3ndy

lol

It is an absolutely natural feeling if you desire what's in between a lady's legs

it's not a sin

maybe we really need a 'perfect' understanding of that

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so if u wanna find it inside you,

, well good luck, but don't go 2 far serchin 4 it, u'll never have it within urself, and if u do, well i don't think that's a hole u're touchin,

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@ 3ndy

There are so many 'sweet things' in life that can be desired

somethings are sweeter than others

yet somethings myt be definitely more important to me and more thrilling than 'sweet things'

but still should you rather strive to find 'sweetness' in some else

or to discover it first from inside you?

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@ 3ndy

on the contrary

only few people actually realise that most often when you don't really desire 'something'

you myt find that~ 'it' will come to you

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@ Mz DarkSkin

lol

we no longer need to decieve ourselves in this present dispensation

what is between a ladies legs is far SWEETER and more desirable than that thing protected by her ribs and lungs

perhaps if every man kept that in mind, and dosn't pretend about it,

life myt be fairer to both parties~ if you really think of it

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LMFAO! WOW. you cannot be serious!Tell me this has to be a joke. let me know when you get to the punch line because I dont get it. You seriously have issues against women. A man cheating on his woman is NOT her fault. If he has urges he should be a REAL man and let her know what she is in for otherwise he ought to shut his blasted mouth when she runs off with Henry because of his insensitivity towards her feelings because of what is between her legs and not whats protected behind the rib cages and lungs!

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@ Mz DarkSkin

Quote: its wrong on both sides

i'm glad you realise that cheating is totally INSTINCTIVE to every male

but

i don't feel cheating is necessarily wrong when it involves a male,

a man can decide not to cheat becuz he feels bounded by rules~ religious rules, cultural rules or even personal moral rules, and if he breaks those rules that myt be unacceptable

but i'm talking about a natural concept, an instinctive pulse, something predominantly inwardly inherent in every male

A rooster has the natural tendency to crow, if it crows in the wrong place or at the wrong time or even against some forbidden rules, then that myt appear to be a sin perpectively,

but still it isn't becuz ~a rooster just has to crow

however

if a female cheats thats absolutely, unargueably a SIN, i'm not talking about a religious or moral sin this time around but an INTRINSIC sin

Ladies are not 'made' to cheat by nature and that is undeniable

well

generally i feel every lady needs to realise that her man has every natural tendency to cheat, and she can either choose to live with that reality or try to manage it

If you can't manage your man properly then its totally your fault that he cheats!

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and you 've attacked my opinions 6times from different threads, Hypocritical nuisance at its best. . .

You're such a deceiving, two faced dimwitt. . .

You say something else and completely do the opposite, how about being who you are?

raasclat!

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just curious,

is she still living in ur bungalow  or has status changed from fiancée to tenant?

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they areb very complex being,and so its not easy to understand them

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@ Mz DarkSkin

basically

i realise you feel a lady would cheat becuz of various reasons most of which are founded on emotional issues

that's logically reasonable~ especially when you view things from the perspective of a lady who would always attempt to dig up five thousand and one reasonable excuses or unreasonable ones to defend her infidelity which myt be, for every reason whatsoever, undoubtedly sorely wrong

listen

a lady cheats for just ONE reason!

And that's her SELFISH DESIRE and PLEASURE~ every such thing everyone does is ultimately PLEASURABLE to them

there's always a good choice and a 'bad choice' but one myt find that a bad choice is usually SWEET

if the lady had emotional issues she culd choose to break up

if she felt s.exually unsatisfied she culd choose to dialog

but she chose infidelity becuz INFIDELITY is a SWEET DESIRE

see?

A man can cheat for various reasons

but a lady will cheat for just ONE reason

and thats unexcusable!

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@ poster,this ur story is full of kids.infact ur name should be Linus cos u were already walkin away wen Nepa suddenly brought.u must have very quick reflexes to turn see her get up to switch off the light,grab her thru the window which u want me to beleive has no burglary proof and view her bosoms.you can do better than this in ur lies.go look for work to do

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& I agree with you 100 percent on the moral issue however being human beings women like 99.9% of men dont always do what is right by others. If a woman feels she is "bound" to a man for reputation, because of expectations or even for greed there cannot be love there because it is forced on thus she may or may not stray. Women in that situation who do not stray are one of a kind or may feel they cannot get anything better however those who do cross the forbidden line do so because they want to feel some sort of freedom. I am a woman and lots of times things cross my mind, not always good things but i do ponder alot when I am in a relationship and i am not happy. I have also witnessed it. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard unfaithful women sing one of three songs: "he cheated, so i cheated to hurt him", "i dont love him but i dont want to tell him because i dont want to hurt him so i cheated" or "hes not satisfying me emotionally/ physically like the other guy". In my case, like most women who are rational rather than go outside of the relationship i break it off IF the issue(s) cannot be rectified. For some ladies cheating is an addiction and for others it is an expression or a way to "get away". SHE (his gf) may be a selfish yotch lol but before we call her names it would only be right to find out why she's done such an act.

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@ Poster

My advice: Forget the Dam and go back to the states. If you marry her, she will do the same thing. She doesn't have respect at all. Even when she knows you are around, she still messes up. Go back to the states and marry a Nigerian there or black American.

If not, the devil will still make her f**k around when you get her in. More so, you will not forget that incidence till the end of your life. Any time she pisses you off, you will feel like killing her.

That's my advice.

Good luck!

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mate just move on man, i kno its hard but it would be harder if u cont. take heart, life goes on.

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Mz DarkSkin

i don't get it!

How does being a 'thinker' or being 'emotional' pass as an excuse for such an act?

When a lady has internal problems~ emotional ones, whatever decision she makes she's still bounded by her morals and values

but the fact that she has a free, and how she decides to use it~thoughtfully or otherwise, is what i feel necessarily judges her actions and not that 'thinker' image

you very well know that what the poster's fiancee did, she did basically becuz of her own sexual gratification, plainly becuz of her selfish desires and pleasure only

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@poster u are the best to advice yourself in this.

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@Poster the LAST thing you'd ever want to do in understanding a woman is to generalize. We females are the "thinkers" of the human species, we act on emotion. When a woman is unfaithful, distant or just all together confused, inside there is a battle going on. At any point in time during your relationship did you hurt her? Have you been unfaithful? At the time that the two if you first got together were you both seeing other people and if not did either of you just get out of a relationship? I am in NO WAY, shape or form justifying her actions however I am going to tell you that as "thinkers" women tend to move in very irrational ways even though we've had time to think about the consequences before hand. It is either she felt distant from you, she never loved you or it was out of revenge. The most important element in a successful relationship is to have a dialogue, for you not to understand her means neither of you "really" talked or if so, somebody was faking along the way.

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i guess for once nepa(phcn) did something good.

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u dont have to describe the blueprints to her house for us to believe u. but that is such a sad story. sorry abou tit. just find it in ur heart to forgive her and move on with your life. i doubt u will be able to continue with the relationship because of what you saw, but if u do then kudos to u.

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I'm tired of all these pointless threads sef, What's with all these "What's really goes on in women's minds"

"What's really going on in men's minds". . .

Create something meaningful please.

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Wow!sori o bros,but i gota let u know dt dia are stil somd decent girls out dia,just pray to God 2 lead u aright nd i wish u d very best. Cheers

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@cantell - LOL, ahn ahn - you don get beef for mumugee before ni?

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Maybe she wanted to enjoy herself for the last time before her wedding,some people do it on their wedding eve.

I feel for you after all these years but God wanted to open yours eyes to see she is not the angel of ur life,

many girls out their are looking for better guys like u.

I advice you move on with your life and ask God to give you the bone of your bone which definitely will make rich and add no sorrow.

Take heart.

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maybe you have been saved the stress and wealth of trying to build another man. If u married the girl, the ugly monster would still be servicing and oiling the parts when u have gone back to the states. Maybe you would  have unknowingly opened a business  for him thru your woman. You  are getting discount on dealing with the problems now, than having to deal with them after you are married with kids or some other person's kid. See it this way. Planning for a wedding in Naija $20k, Having a wife in Naija who's serviced by another man $100K and HIV, Finding  out  that one of your "kids" is not really yours after 20 some =suicidal and humiliating, preventing all these problems from occurring =PRICELESS

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That babe is not ur wife. God has exposed her. I know u are heartbroken, the only way you can be happy is to forgive the lady and get on with your life without her. You asked for an advice because you are heartbroken and unable to reason well now. My advice for is just move on with your life and continue with your search.

I have experienced scenario like that before and am always glad that it actually happened its just a reason for me to know that the person I actually love does not worth it.

Go back to the States where u belong and I promise you that soonest, you will get a girl far better than the previous one the moment you put yourself together and move on with your life.

Holla

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really so sad my brother, just take heart and be strong, she is not meant for you,

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Point is it aint hard 2 figure out. Drs a language called "womanese". u rili hv 2 learn ds language to b well versed on the subject women and to know whr they r coming from at every point. To giv u a little clue, what a woman rili means is an intersection between

1.What she says.

2.How she says it.

3. And most importantly what she does. Her actions,

Very simple.

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eyah sorry oh, but shitz happens.

and i think its all for the best

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Another Nollywood story, Anyways, my grandma is available for you, Age, 89, no need for you boarding to Nig paying for air ticket she is in United States, contact me,

NONSENSE,

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kai. there are so many things in this story that make it sound untrue.

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Such a sad story. What more can I say? All has been said. I feel for you. I would have gone mad with rage, but you have taken it all well.

The hardest word to say right now is MOVE ON. Such a shame, most women of our generation hardly know what they want. The bone of your bone is somewhere out there, and when she comes, you would feel that inner reassurance.

All the best bruv.

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men, you cant tell. sometimes when i see some babes treating some dudes anyhow, it make me believe what is usually said about them that they have fish brain . cos even the so called elite think like fish when it comes to relationship, no matter how tough they may seem to look or be.

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Be strong, bro! She doesn't deserve you. With time, you'll be alright. Take care.

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You have made your decision. Just be strong. Only time can heal a wounded heart. Look to God for healing.

Psalm 34:18 The LORD [is] near to those who have a broken heart, And saves such as have a contrite spirit.

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Dear nairalanders, thank you very much for all your advice,suggestions & consolation,i'm really very grateful.I stayed glued to my laptop all through the day reading all your responds over & over because they're very important to me.& even till now, i've neither taken a nap,a siesta,nor my night sleep.I rolled up & down d bed with swollen red eyes that refuse to bring out tears,since all that happend still lingers freshly in my memory.But dont worry i'll be alright,it's just a matter of time.& as soon as i'm able to get over this,i'll be on d next available flight to the states,& it'll take me so many years to ever think of visiting again.I've learnt a whole lot from all your advice/ suggestions,I'll still think more, but for now,i've canceld d wedding. Both her people & mine are now aware & a family meetn has been fixed because of the issue,but that does'nt mean anything to me since it wont turn back the hands of time.

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U SAW HER WITH YOUR TWO Unclad EYES GIVING HIM NODDING, SH**T HAPPENS

SHE ' S NOT WORTH THE STRESS JUST DUST THAT BEHIND U AND FORGE AHEAD

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this does not sound real to me!!!!

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First, I offer my consolation and sympathy. Such a thing must be very heart breaking!

I think it was the will of God for you to have caught her red handed.

A few weeks to the wedding - that is truly heartless!

What will happen after the wedding when passion is low?

Do not let this colour your perspective of Nigerian girls, there are many decent and faithful girls out there.

Right now, just look to God for help and strength! Good luck with any choice you make.

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@poster, on a more serious note, i feel 4 u,bt like i said earlier on, move on

-this poo happens most times to women esp here in nig dat its nt strange if ur man havg affairs wit other women

which she could be ur maid of honor, a close friend,ur sister or even a househelp!.

either way, it sucks!.

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@Poster

Look here bro'. I dont usually believe NL stories but for whatever reason i tend to believe yours. You are a very lucky guy! Leave this girl alone and move on with your life. The good lord loves you therefore he revealed this to you. You must have been faithful to her to get this kind of revelation about her waywardness. If she can do this while you are right under her nose, imagine how many more she has done while you were in the states. the good lord that revealed this to you is working on providing your woman for you. I cannot tell you not to hurt or feel pain 'cause it's natural but i can tell you to take your time to get better and you will eventually thank your stars for not marrying a girl like that. What many cheaters fail to realize is that KARMA is a B-I-T-C-H. When it comes back to bite, it bites hard! Move on bro'. she will get what she deserve. Been there done that, i'm all smiles today.

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am sorry about ur loss. there are 2 ways abt it.its either u 4give her,go on with the wedding and assume it never happened or ditch her bitchy Bottom. but she fckd up, naija gals are lyk that,afta giving them ur all,they betray u, try and go back 2 the states,marry a white or a black american,maybe u will find true love,

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@all, not to sound cynical, but this stuff happens at both ends.The Guys side of the stick being the most.What do they call it, erm, so called Bachelor's Night-sending partin 'pokes' to ex-gfs?!

Well, now we kno there is also Spinster's Night.

Left to me, the guy shud carry on wit his lyf, coz sumday u wil find dat ur wife is BUMPIN when ur out there workin late hours to make ur family comfortable.

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