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What's The Foundation Of Your Relationship?

What Do U Base your Relationship On. Whats The Foundation Of your Relationship?

Guys and Ladies have u ever wonder what your relationship is based on.

i did a little monitoring research and found out that most normal relationships are based on sex.

i base my relationship with my girlfriend on friendship and its taking us far.

i found out that most boyfriends and girlfriends based theirs on sex/or material things/or other wise

i feel the more the sex in a relationship the boring it gets.

if there should be sex it should be done once in a while to keep the burning urge burning.

What do you guys think?

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47 answers

hello nairalander one fact remains that we av different reason why we enter into relationship mu relationship started as friendship and wen we eventually started datin i could trust,Luv n undastand him beta, sex isnt a bad thing as some see it as the fuel for there rlationship bt mine is based on undastandin,luv,sincerity,trust n good communication, no doubt there are ups n down bt d foundation dtermines it extent

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Sex is far from it,mine is based on true feelings,understanding and love

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reciprocated kindness

companionship

love

understanding/patience

trust & oneness

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Motives for  relationships vary, from people to people, there could be a causal relationships that have sexual relatioship going on there in, there could be marriage in mind kind of friendship and no sex,  Two people could be freinds and have diffrent motives in the frienship, so you can find more on friendndship on www.anakhu.com

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love,trust and understanding

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1. Mutual respect

2. Trust

3. Loyalty to one another

4. Common long-term goal

5. Shared humor and laughter

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For me, it's trust, respect and mutual understanding.

Sex is just a bonus.

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i based my past relationship on love,real love but i guess that wasnt the reason relationships work out.i never thought of sex initially and i can say it was the best relationship i have ever had with a human.we later broke up cus i was not ready/able for marriage but she still remains the angel that i will never have, i guess any relationship that is based on love if it survives,the couple will forever be grateful to God.

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some guys make it look as though the only thing they want from any relationship is SEX, I dont have any relationship for now, though I have friends, I have someone right now but I get irritated whenever I hug him cos he's always hard and he tells me that he loves that why, gosh! it's not what I want after 2 weeks of dating I shoudl know yhou first and the sex and any other thing will come, really I want to marry not to become a sex machine.

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foundation of me relationship is trust and love

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i got married 3 years ago and i enjoyed my marriage for just two months,initially i thought i was at fault i became more respectful,made extra attempt to look good bought more sexy clothes and all.But it was going from bad to worse,my hubby began an affair,he abused me physically and sexually at every given opportunity and then i lost my self confidence.i did not have a job so things got worse for me financially.i am from a very comfortable backgrond and my parents did not want us to get married but i insisted.after a while i got a good job and people told me how good i look then i met this guy  who is so romantic and now i think am in love with him,my hubby is out of the country with his babe.what do i do?[color=#990000][/color][i][/i]

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I knew I would not be able to marry a lady I have made

love to and I did not marry any of them. I married a Lady

I never saw her unclothedness until our wedding night and now believe

me your brother is getting all the love and sex that he needs.

@ Topic

Sex has not and should never be the basis of a true relationship.

If you make it the basis as soon as the sex urge goes down the

relationship grumbles. Although it is different from that of a married relationship

where the bible says they should pleasure themselves.

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there is a song that says "how can we be lovers if we cant be friends"been friends is the greatest foundation you can have

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hissing and rolling my eyes

I don't need sex to have an healthy relationship

SEX is just something that spicy up the relationship so people like you doesn't get bored.

Realationship should be based on caring, loving and honesty

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i get u sex might be important but its shouldnt be d foundation of a relationship should it? respect must come first follow by trust

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its gotta be if he make me laugh

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lovemoney

you think sex is destroys the relationship!??!?!?!?!?! LOL! there is nothing really to say to that now, is there?

and you wonder why guys and sleeping around when their own women do not even know the importance of sex!

you are hopefully not in a relationship cos if you are then your partner had better have the same views as you (but your earlier post suggest that you have got a partner!!)

sex is important people, stop lying to yourselves!

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sex isn't anything serious?? you're joking right? even if you're not having sex, it IS an important part of the relationship

sexual attraction cannot be completely removed and is a major part of what leads to the initial pull to the person

and if you're married, sex is Definitely a huge part of the relationship

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relation should be based on friendship love and personal feelings. i dont see sex as anything serious in a relationship

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a relationship should be based on friendship and personal feelings. I dont see sex as anything in a relationship.

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The foundation should rightly be friendship, however the relationship should be clearly defined from the onset!

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A relationship should be based on trust, cos if you dont have trust you have nothing, then comes friendship, understanding, respect, love if its possible, among other things. Sex should be optional but never the basis of the relationship cos everybody fit give am to you, na my own i don talk

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I want to comment on the statement . . . "Men think more about sex than women".  To me that is just not true.  Women have heard that over-and-over again for years now.  How does a man know how much a woman thinks about sex?  You cannot believe or rely upon statistics, for as a Business major, I have learned that statistics (although gathered with what is labeled as unbias methods) can be manipulated to get a favorable result.

Simply put, there are two standards in this world . .one in which a man can do as he pleases sexually , and he is viewed as being "more of a man if he does", and  there is another standard placed on a woman.  If she does what she wants sexually,  she is labeled .  . .many names (all negative).  Perhaps woman think about sex just as much, or even more than a man does.  But,  because of the double-standards, even in today's society in the year of 2007, they know that they will be judged more harshly and decide not to deal with the repercussions.

I will take it upon myself to quote something I heard on a television program one day about the sexuality of men and women.  "Men reach their sexual prime in their 20's, but women reach their sexual prime in their 40's.  Perhaps men and women think about sex (more or less) depending on their age or stage in life.  Now thinking about it, does not mean something is actually taking place.  I am just talking about the "numbers of time each gender thinks about sex".  I just wanted to clear the air about that,  for to me,  it is a "misconception" regarding the sexual thoughts women have--interesting that a man should say that though!

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My relationship, first of all is built on friendship. In order to have a great friendship, communication, caring, respect, and genuine concern for the other person's well being has to be there. Sure sex is a natural part of most relationships, but if the foundation is not laid first (frienship, communication, respect, etc.), the sex will phase out with time leaving you feeling empty inside and searching again for that special connection . .the connection before the sex started!

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i think you all are missing the point here; you have to ask yourself what sex means to YOU!!!!! not to any one else as their relationship is NOT yours!!!!!

the fact is this; men think more about sex than women do! FACT!!!!! why is that?!?!?! because of our genetic make-up!!!! why do you think women GENERALLY can go longer without sex than men can?!?!?!?!?! until you realise that sex is very important and it has IT'S place, you will continue to lie to yourself and will never get to the real mature stage of enjoying it and seeing its place!

sex is more than just a physical thing for a man! for a woman, its different! our very biological compositions leans us men towards physical more than women. the truth is that the 3 points in ANY relationship to work are 1. SEX, 2. MONEY, 3. COMMINUCATION!!!!!! get those 3 right, and you will last as long or as short as you BOTH CHOOSE!!!!! remember, its all about choices! if you want it to work it WILL work!!! simple as! the human detemination is greater than any challenge you can ever face as a unit or couple!

peace!

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The foundation of my relationship is friendship first,then came Love and i tell u it has been wonderful for d past two years.

If nothing else d friendship and love sustains us even wen we have our squabbles.The squabbles in itself is one of the tenets of our relationship,cos my guy is my quarel mate-i wonder if u know wot dat means,he sha originated it.

But it has bin swit all along,my relationship tot me wot true love actually is.

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if a relationship is based on friendship every other good thing follows

affection, true love and so on.

it will last u thru a long time even in to marriage and beyound

even if u break up u will still remain friends.

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@ Elizabeth

Your boyfriend has every reason to feel the way he does but you have to make him see reasons beyond your not being in the mood, sex is supposed to be done on mutual agreement by both party and not a one-sided thing. Of course it takes two to tangle, but you've got tp make him understand that.

Good luck to you.

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@ simeony

Its a good thing you specifically said "i" meaning you, but there's a difference in the statement, we are talking about relationship and not friendship, if am mistaking, there's a difference between them except am wrong. Either way, sex shouldn't be a criteria.

Good Luck

@ chinnys

You do not need sex to spice up a relationship, even if there's mutual agreement between the two parties. I am not trying to be a saint here but i think respect for each other should be a priority, know how your partner feels and try to understand him/her.

If the foundation of your relationship are based on the following, these are likely to be the result.

Based on beauty: What happens when it fades ( you do the maths)

Based on Sex: you go definitely will get sick of it at least wit d fact that its with the same person.

Based on Material things: Na for ever, the guy/gurl eye go open one day.

But when you have a relationship that is based on affection, truth, "love"(sincere and not lust), then you begin to have mutual agrrement with each other, thereby getting to learn new things about yourself and have no cause to be bored seeing/meeting each other everytime.

I hope we all get to learn from this thread. big ups to the poster.

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Sex should be the last thing to talk about in a relationship! Agreed. But whenever i tell my boyfriend that am not in the mood he always says am dating another person that's why am avoiding him.

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My relationships always are based on friendship hence am friends with all my exes, i still hang out with most of them. Friendship and mutual attraction not to mention similar interests if not characteristics. The 'opposite attracts' does not work for me.

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Hello Bisisexy, I'm sorry you've been meeting and dating the wrong guys. It's reasonable to call it quit with that guy. Obviously, all he wants is a fling and then he grows wings. They're out there in millions and theey're wolves. Be patient. Patience is a virtue. You'll surely get a good gardener-the right man to cherish, love, appreciate, prun and make you the cynosure of all eyes. I wish you the best, dear.

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Relationships thrive better when they are properly defined from the beginning. It is best for you to know what either or both of you want from the relationship. If he/she wants both of you to be friends, then great! If he wants to date, so you could get to know each other, then fine! If, however, he/she wants sex and you don't, take to your heels! There's no point keeping to such a relationship! All the best, pals.

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is there any guy that deosn,t want to sex u imediately they meet u nigerianshave a madrush for sex and copying europeans?,am in a relationship,my guy loves sex too much,he says it,s the normal thing in relation ships if i ask him about any woman in his life he jists me,about them tells me that i have to know how to get him to b mine,i have decided to quit,may b i have been meeting the wrong guys,i want to leave relationships for now,girls are ready to give guys sex,i f ur not a lay it,s difficult

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I agree with u guys sha, sex should not be the bane of a relationship or so i thot.

I had a girl who i really liked once and we went out for a couple of years and in the end she left me, after waiting so patiently so now i ask u guys, "Is it worth it" i mean if i had had sex with her i would have felt a lot better and not the way i feel cheated out now.

I have long since learnt now sha and i know that it doesnt always pay to be the good guy @ times u just have to take the bull by the horn, i've had really bad girls after that based on sex though they didnt last long, i kind of liked the different adventurous sexual escapades.

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i m impress with the comments frm men in this forum but men start only to look beyond sex after a certain age an average of 28 years age i m a 21 yr old n i can tell u that i date older man because their experimental days r over but them again i m disgusted at the alarming number of married men looking for sex outside their marriage please men tell me what is that about.

yh although i m currently single i ve being in relationships were it was purely based on a relationship beyond friendship more like soulmates that is truly love and the bitter sweet pleasure it gives you so if you're longing too much sex frm your girlfriend, wife or outside then u need 2 reaccess your devotion in that relationship. there are more satisfication that over rides sex and more pleasurable if u can't recognise that then i dnt knw what 2 say 2 u but again i still yet to deepen my experience of love.

there are just too many young men n i mean below the age of 26 who its just all sex sex n did i mention sex then one who aint like that are either taken or virgins unless u get real lucky and that also can be visa vesa

but them there are couples who sex really wrks for them and makes the relationship last, strange but true.

sex is just a physical connection between the two of u and helps met the sexual satsifaction of ur relationship stay secure from the risk of infidelity

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As a matter of fact, all round sex makes the relationship and the attraction to fade away easily from my personal experience. Its good to actually have the urge and starve for it. That way the feelings for eachother would always be alive. Sex in itself is ok and necessary but much of that is boring. How about that?

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Lets see ,

it all depends on the position you find yourself, some guys  would want to prove some inexistent points (I mean the girls here) and guys would want to do what they called step it up (it means trying to put one self in the level or above the level with which their partner is)

from my own experience, I had one or two relationships based on what i choose to call fiction and lies, and the whole relationship was filled with lies to say a few.

Why do i tell lies in the first instance?. May be it makes the whole process funny or some kind of games. sometimes you want to impress or use character charms (pretending to be nice). But what i believe as a matter of good reasoning is that a relationship should be based on faithfulness and facts. courtship is a period of ascertaining the compatibility or otherwise of your partner so if you err by lying, you wouldn't know the damning secret of your partner because you are both in the hide and seek game.

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guys to tell u the truth i cannot be in firendship without sex

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I'm Capricorn and i noticed that i'm always attracted to both capricorn's and gemini"s.

so i dont even bother the moment i find anyone else, which is quite unfortunate but

also reduces my time wasted.

I will just like every one to notice all this are based on once's character and

therefore compactibility in relationships.

Men actually thinks understanding before SEX but female make it difficult.

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Friendship first then all others can follow. Sex or no sex is completely optional.

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True talk people, sex should be the essence of a relationship. Being true friends is a great way of fostering a long lasting relationship but that does not mean sex should be totally relegated to the an unimportant issue. We are still human.

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I am so impressed by the guys responding to this mail, i had started to believe all guys have one thing on their mind SEX. Infact on another thread a guy said he was a V and I was like wow.

Even church guys, they do holy holy, only to wanna jump you when they leave church.

But back to the topic, yep friendship, most def.

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@ poster

I think this thread came at a time i needed it.

I have been wondering lately why there seems to be no relationship that is not based on sex. Pls don't get me wrong here ! - it is neccessary maybe once in a while to spice up the relationship but it should'nt be based wholly on that. Compatibilityand mutual respect is the paramount.

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@poster, I agree with you! Sometimes, sex is over-rated.

Relationships based on sex are all too common and they do not last. A solid relationship is usually based on mutual respect and affection for each other.

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base your relationship on compatibility, Sex is an enhancer oh, dont date a guy u can't talk to, and the only time u have anything in common is when u are filling ur animalistic urges, una go tire, because like a friend of mine always says

'p*ssy is Kitty-Cat, no matter where u go in the world, what makes u prefer one to the other is the way you feel about the person'

Base a relationship on sex, and when d guy sef needs variety he will leave u je-je no regrets, afterall he aint missing nothing special that he cant get from elsewhere

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You are a real Man. I gbadun your person. Sex is only but a self destructive weapon. Not to sound like a saint,, it is not always easy i must say. but the way out i found is that when you discuss critical issues together , talk about how to work out your future , make money b, live a life of influence , how to make impact in ur generation ,etc sex will not be too urging .

thumps up for the threads . My current relationship is based on what we feel for each other ,etc

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