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What To Do When A Girl Doesnt Want A Serious Relationship But A Casual One?

I'm a very interesting situation that has left me between a rock and a hard place. I'm 22, never dated before, used to be labeled the "Nice guy" but learned from previous experiences to not be so gullible. (don't wry the story is interesting,lol)

Shes 19, one of my good friends introduced me to her back in December and we really hit it off. I took her on a date during the following week and we shared our first kiss (my first kiss), and that was a great feeling. For the next 2 weeks, we were spending alot of time together and finding out more about each other. I think shes used to guys being intimidated by the facy that her parents are really well off, that didnt rly bother me at all. Shes real hard worker, looking to make success on her own and shes also very down to earth The only thing that made me raise a brow was the fact that she was Hindu (nothing against hindus) because i am Seventh Day Adventist (Christian for those who don't know what it is) . I decided not worry about that right now, lol. I respect the fact that shes still virgin, and wants to wait. I mean she still like to have fun, lol. To my suprise, She actually got me something for christmas, she made me scarf from scratch that was very nice. A conversation about what our "status" is at the present time, she implied that we should get to know each other better before we officially become a couple. Whats tough is that she goes to school out of town so there some distance, but not too much. I think about an hour and a half hour of driving, not bad. I actually went to visit her and she was very excited to see me. I visited her about 2 times after christmas, and spent part of that weekend over her apartment. Theres no better feeling than to wake up in the morning and seeing her sleeping next to u. She comes into town as well so i don't always have to leave town to see her.I actually didnt mind taking in slow in this relationship but whenever a conversation came up about "us" came up it wouldnt be a fun conversation. She was mad at me because she thought i had no problem with her going out on a date with a guy from her class, I simply told her that i didnt like it but i can't tell her what to do at the present time. SHe was saying that i had the choice to talk to another girl, but i quickly made sure to tell her she was the one i wanted to be with. A week later she came into town and that next morning we got breakfast. She was hinting that she had a dress she didnt want to go to waste, so I took it as she wanted a romantic night out. Then she was saying that she might spend that time with her friends that have no dates (talk about friends dragging u down). Then out of no where she said that she promised herself she wouldnt date for a while. I replied" what is this we have right now?" and she told me " I liked u alot but i can't give u a serious relationship. I wont lie to u guys but it flet like all the air that room was sucked out, i felt terrible fearing that i was going to lose her. I mean from now since before i christmas we talked to each other or seen each other every single day since then. She even told my friend that me called her 1 to 2 times a day wasnt enough (women, ), we talk like 2 to 3 times a day. She has given me the choice to stay in the "casual relationship" or go to being friends (mind u we were never friend in the beginning we skipped that step). I know that Indian families the parent want their kids to marry an indian as well and are very strict about going against that. As where form some people the thought of friends with benefits sounds nice its not fun when one party has feelings for the other and that other doesnt want to commit to real relationship. I'm afraid that if i chose that route and she did find someone else that would be really hard to take. IF i choose the "friends" route i guess i could get to know her better ( i mean i do its just in that situation i would be wierd) and maybe if something is meant to happen it will. This whole thing really threw me off because in the beginning she like me a whole lot more than i liked her, but i caught up in one way or another. We decided to discuss this when we see each other because talking over phone wont be good. Even after that talk were still talking on the phone, but decisions,

So what do u guys think about this? any advice? thanks in advance.

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12 answers

she offered you a monopoly of choice to take and here you are saying what she did not say

maybe she is not into you or you are not into her

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Another definition of casual sex:

Engaging in sexual activity with one or more others just for fun or release of sexual tension and not as an expression of love or as part of a durable love relationship.

Comment: Sometimes the term is used pejoratively, with the implication that risks, responsibilities, and emotions are taken too casually.

See also boytoy, cruise, dalliance, friendship-with-sex, friend with benefits, girl toy, indiscriminate sex, insignificant other, loveless sex, married at Finglesham Church, one-night stand, party, promiscuity, put it about, recreational sex, philanderer, pick up, pickup, player, serial philandering, sex, sex buddy, sexual varieties, sleep around, slut, stud, swing, swingle, toy boy, unconditional sex, womanize, womanizer, zipless f***.

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She may have wanted a casual relationship so she could see other people. You need to find out if she is dating anyone else. If she is you may want to break it off, or ask her to choose. If she isn't then you definitely should tell her how you feel, and that you do want a steady relationship. If she still wants to keep it casual, then walk away.

The only reason someone would keep it casual is to see if someone better comes along, then they don't have to feel bad about breaking it off with the other person. Or the guy/girl is a player and you don't need that at all. I also don't think you should be worrying whether or not you scare her off, you need to worry about yourself, I don't believe for a minute that you are happy with the arrangement, if you were you wouldn't be asking the question. You are happy when you with her, you like spending time with her, you like her, not the arrangement, her. Tell her that.

I was in the same situation as you, and as we were casually dating I met someone else who wanted more than just a romp in the hay now and then. When I broke it off with Mr.Casual, he was really upset, but he wouldn't give me what I needed and my boyfriend now does, and believe me I'm happier now than I ever would have been with the other guy.

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casual relationship:

1. A relationship that entails sexual attraction in which no relationship commitment has been made.

2. A relationship that entails sexual attraction and that is of an occasional or temporary nature.

See also amourette, dalliance, Intimate friendship, expiration dating, flirtation, insignificant other, intrigue, lovestyle, short-term relationship, tertiary relationship.

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be thankful for what you get. start with the casual. chances are that it'll develop into something deeper. who are we kidding?

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LMAO, ok maybe its not so funny to you. . . *coughs* Do whatever you feel is right inside. . .atleast she made her mind clear. Goodluck

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Would be wrong to go into it as a learning experience? A friend told me that. Can someone explain to me what exactly is a Casual relationship in most cases, im so used to hearing FWB that "casual" is new to me.

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@Man-eater

that na true talk.i hail you for that.

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I suggest you should remain friends with her, your priorities are bound to change and hers as well. You both would move on to date other people.

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Im afraid that if we go to being friends we might drift apart, i still want to get to know her more tho. It doesnt really make sense really, i really need to figure this out completly when i see her again. It sucks because shes not even in town and im not sure when shes coming back in town maybe this weekend or next.

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WOW this is one hell of a situation.

Look darling I have never known a virgin who indulges in causal relationships. You seem to be a really nice and sincere guy dont allow yourself to be hurt. Its best to stay out of these kinds of confusing situation. You can stay friends but dont agree to any casual relationship

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