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What To Do With A Cheating Boyfriend?

i have been in a relationship for over four years and i love my boyfriend very much. we are thinking of getting married. the only problem is that he has cheated on me 3 times, and right now, he's seeing the third girl again!(unfortunately they work in the same place). he claims nothing is going on and he simply drops her home or picks her up in the mornings. i think this is too close for comfort, and honestly i dont think i can take anymore.

ive told him he doesnt have to pay such "kind gestures" as old feelings do errupt. we've quarrelled about it a couple of times (especially as he had been lying for over a month that the girl had traveled for good, even if theyve been working in the same office for weeks now). he insists he cant just stop talking to her cuz he thinks its childish to do so. he says theyre still friends, even if i am uncomfortable with the relationship.

i really do not think dat i can go thru this, but it hurts to think that i have wasted so much time. a part of me always wants to forgive him and help if possible. he says he loves me but i dont think he loves me enuf to understand that am not happy with their friendship, no matter how "innocent" it may seem.

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115 answers

@op

Too bad u find your self in this situation. How sure are u dt he has only cheated on you thrice? He mite just have a string of ladies whom u don't even know about. Do u tink if UR d one cheating in d relationship he wud still b wt u? At the end of d day its not the amt of years u have spent together that counts bt d years ahead of u n d quality of life he can give u. I'm sure u don't want to wake up as his wife n cry blue murder for the rest of ur life. Its ur call.

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This is the problem I have with most females. This should not even be an isssue. You have not even married him and he is already taking you for granted. My dear marriage is long infact they say it should be forever. How can you say you are engaged to a known cheat. What do you expect, that he will marry you and he will then not cheat again. This is how you open your eyes wide and walk into a hole that you dug. You already know that you should not marry him. A broken engagement is better than a broken marriage any time.

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all the women shoutin dump his Bottom, how many u wan dump, na u go just tire

80% of the women here are being cheated on, so kini big deal

abeg chop ur own n clean mouth, n if u no wan make them cheat on u, then remain single or u develop a credit scoring mechanism, where men with a history of cheating dont get in

all this method fa, na u go still tire cos agro go kill u, u go just weak infact omo enof candle go break inside ur toto( for those of u who cant afford dildos)

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who wan cheat make e cheat, its not by force to b faithful, why do we keep purnishing our selves esp women

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anothaviv, i want to kn something did u take oath with dis guy, or are u bethrothed 2 dis guy or is he d most handsome man on earth, or wht i want 2 really kn y u chose to surffer at dis early stage of ur life.

he is doing dis to u when u still have option of leaveing him, talk more of whn u will be left with no option dan bearing everthing he does to u in d name of marriage, i beg u to think twice before is too late, before u will having sleepless night and uncontrolable tears rolling down ur chicks and look like somebody with HIV /AIDs because of thinking.

pls if u will listen give him a break if he realy love u he will come begging and when he comes let him make a promise dat he will change 360 degree, than whn he trys it next time, go without coming back no matter wht.

is just a pices od advice u have d right to take or leave it, good luck.

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Men for me there are some questions tht shudnt be asked like this one,girl dump him simple.if u were the one that cheated on him he wont 4give u and my God he has cheated 3times what are u waiting for?

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You have three options for your cheating canine boyfriend:

1. Damp him

2. Keep him and be a dog/Dam as well (But use protection). And your affairs shouldn't be secretive. Let him also experience the humiliation of your affairs with other partners.

3. Forgive him, marry him and die of high blood pressure caused by the stress of a cheating husband.

It's your call!

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I agree with you Topup. A guy who continues to do what he does despite ur resrvation and discomfort doesnnot respect your feelings.

As far as I am concerned, he is good riddance to bad rubbish!

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What else is needed to be done, expect kicking his Bottom to the curb.

No second chanced, none of that crab, in fact i won't waste my time trying to reason why he cheats

I will pick up the pieces of my life, and move on, life is too short for that nonsense

I dislike cheater, and am talk about both genders

i will rather let him go if am not feeling him anymore than cheat on him

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@ Topic,

I have always said it. . . . . .

Cut off his equipment. . . . . . bobbit-style. Very effective.

On a serious note. . .

Leave him. He's not worth your stress. There's a very high probability that he won't be faithful even in marriage.

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i don't believe that all men are dogs.i know enough decent men to realize that there is hope in ending up with one as a husband.

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dang mehn, guess igat sum thinkin 2 do,

haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,it sucks mayn, big tyme

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Amen! Dont make the biggest mistake of your life. You will only regret it later

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Dump him on one condition, for a man who won't cheat on you. And do we have such men? Just think about it. A full blooded and verile man Bleep only three other women in a whole four years and you are here crying in the public. To me, you sound so ungrateful and should be dump. That guy has done something most men can't even imagine. I am too clean to do girls anyway. My opinion is based on "if i were doing girls". I am way too clean for any man or woman to see me stark Unclad. I refused to be demystified. I am "THE SAGE".

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dang,i see a lot of kick his Bottom 2 d curb, should I or should I Not

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Of course it goes both ways . . but for now, that is what the topic said and thats why pple related their replies to that.

Maybe u should start up a topic addressing "What to do with a cheating girlfriend".

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Y do you guys think is only guys that cheat this cheating thing is the both sex so i think the idea of saying "what to do with the boyfriend that cheat" in the topic is wrong so plz take note and dont be self centered

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anothaviv, my girl. Ayeisha have said it all. JUST LISTEN 2 HER, DROP HIS ROYAL CHEATING Bottom!

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Cut off his privates

or you could try it the ancient way: break up with him

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Chika, true talk

well,i guess Relationships r harder dan we think isnt it,

well,like my mom wud say, God should not allow mi 2 use our Boyfriend for husband and our Husband for Boyfriend , GET IT?!?!?!?!

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i know dis is super late bt i just wanted 2 add my 2 cents cos i feel cheated on rite now too mayn,

I dont knw if any1 said this before bt i cant really read all d replies,but i saw a number of DUMP HIM, guys,come on,u'v bein wit sum1 4 3yrs or more,n u plannin 2 marry d person, if u guys were really serious and not just playin high school love,we'l get married child's play,its not easy to let go now people, u hav pretty much built ur life and planned everything around dat person, its never gonna b easy 2 let go, d space and hole wud b huge

a part of u knows u deserve better bt a big part of u also hopes he'l change bak into d great person dat he used 2 b,

I dnt know if my BF is cheatin,even tho i saw signs and confronted him abt it,cos i think he messed around durin a lil hard time/ sorta separation we hav,he said he just needed comfort, and was hangin out wit all kinda chicks and dudes i hate 2 get over d "DEPRESSION" he said i put him in, DUMB Bottom

at a point,i had enough and left him,didnt call or nuthing 4 abt 2 wiks or so, guess who called, lets just call him "SMILY", tellin mi how much he appreciated mi and how much he did not wanna lose mi and all d many little thing i do 4 him,

even tho we bak 2gether,wenever i look at him, or tink abt sumthing he's done,i cnt believe am still wit him, n i guess him knwin mi as gud as he does sees d doubt in my face and pull mi sooo close and holds mi even tighter, GOSH IT FEELS SOOO GOOD

he says annoyin things at times,like how a lot of oda chicks r willin 2 do things 4 him if i dnt but den d next thing he'l say wud b like d sweetest thing u'v ever heard,

FYI,lately he dosent say I LOVE U until i say it, i asked him why,he said he justs wants 2 b sure i do

so guys ;et mi tell u,its not easy 2 let go just like dat, u may think u'r over it bt wait til u see him again or talk 2 him and see how quick u'l fall bak in love,

GUYS,THIS COMPLICATED poo CALLLED RELATIONSHIP IS DRIVING MI bleeping NUTS, XCUSE MY FRENCH,

SUMTIMES I WISH I NEVER DATED HIM,WISH I STAYED FRIENDS, BUT HE'S SO AMAZING U GUYS

HELP A SISTA OUT OOO, ANY PSYCHOLOGISTS IN DA HOUSE?!?!?!?!?!?!?

might i add,dis guy bought mi a mercedes, yes he did, MLK

he is game as in great catch by any girls standards, TRUST, all my female friends wants guy like himmmmm

WETIN MAN GO DO OOOOOOOOOO

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just let him go, you deserve better

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take a break from the relationship, it would allow him choose who he really wants n if he doesn,t then move on sweet, guys r waiting for you. Dont sweat over any guy, some guys really are time waster plus make sure to dont have an heartbreak so its beta u quit b4 he does,

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Trendiest: Are you serious? You are just thinking about 3yrs and not considering that a marriage is the rest of your life! You can easily let someone go that you've been dating but do you really want to be a miserable married woman? Can you really take it all 40-50yrs from now? Think about the future and not about right now!

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I it's something he's done continually it means he may never stop. So u shld ask urself if u think u can live with dat because here's newsflash babe, guys seldom change. Many of dem just get worse.

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please try to be patient. Do not take actions that you will later regret. It happens like that sometimes. give him some time to make up his mind. Guys are very easy to confuse in cases like this one. He will later realize who is who

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if a guy loves you he dont cheat on you or

sleep with you in the first place.

before marriage.

i too was like you. had a boyfriend for about 3yrs. it was self deception on my part. now its over.

when he did it to me about 3 or more times, i roasted him. i felt guilty after that, but i ripped out his heart through his mouth.

i geuss it was just to validate the fact that i couldnt let you abuse me over and over again and just let you walk over me.

think of diseases. think of your self worth. think of your future. THINK OF YOUR GOD.

no man is worth it. im glad you have come around fast and sound very serious about moving on.

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what to do with a cheating(meaning continous)? or boyfriend that cheated(meaning once)?kick his butt out of ure life if its the former he aint worth u

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Be happy, buy and eat suya together. Get enough suya pepper on your hands and go to bed with him without washing your hands, let him do the undressing as if you are just falling in love the first time. Then use your well peppered hand on his dick and scrotum. The rest is real drama.

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@topic

hmmmmmm you sound so similiar to someone i know , ME. I had been dating my guy for over 3 wasa 8 months pregnant and discovered that he also was very friendly with a girl from work. Late texts and missed calls comin to his phone excited my suspicion thought nothing of it but it continud for sometime so i confronted him to be told shes a friend from work who is a lesbian (yes i know lame excuse but i swallowed it. Gave birth to my baby he was the perfect boyfriend and father could not show me anymore love and we were the most important people to him but guess what this girl was still around and i overheard a secret phonecall and it ended my suspicion and that guy is gone. He not only lost me but a stunning daughter too, Girl get to the end of it you dont want to marry a cheat!

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well, to y'all mubowa's hater, i keep it real and i will keep keeping it like dat. as for the people that wants to have a sex change, i've already made an enquiry how ur bosom and pussyy can be transformed to men's stuff within 14 hours, all you have to do is to pay 60 thousand dollars or use ur health or life insurance. send me a mail as soon as u think it will be necessary for u to get a d*ck. And all the men that fake in the forum because we cant discuss this face to face, search your heart and re-read my first post fakers

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dump him. life is too short to put your life on the line waiting to contract something nasty from him.

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D truth is. Old feelings are bound 2cme up.same thng dat is hapenin 2u hapend 2ma gurl frend,now d guy is maried 2d same gurl who he claimd was jus a frend.they mite av bin just frends.bt sumthang came up.gurl b wise.

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its quite unfortunate that your boyfriend is behaving this way. I hope you use some protection while having sex. I guess you know what time it is. HIVAIDS knows not been together for 4 years or something. I think you should talk to him about it.

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mubowa, donkey? Lmao how old are you again? juvenile responses. You keep saying you don't have the time to respond yet you continue to do so anymore. Miserably i might add.

Iyke-D,

I see that you are just looking for my trouble. The first person who went on about self esteem you ignored but then went after me for responding to her. If you don't understand what I've been saying for weeks now then I suggest you go bother someone else because I'm not repeating myself esp when I wasnt even implying that the OP had self esteem issues.

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SISTA, are you in anyway related to the Bobbit woman?

Don't tell me you are this harsh, I am sure you will miss it when you chop it off. LOL

#Candid Submission#

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@Michelin89

Ever heard of female circumcision? Someone may get very creative with carving

your thing up too if you were to pursue this line of thinking - that is if you were

to chop off the wrong person's thing. . .

By the way, what has chopping off his thing got to do with anything? Will that

make things right?

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might not be d most sensitive of comments but u oughta dump him, 4 years is a long time but i'd rather u look at it as a learnin' period other than a waste of time, d real wasting would be u continuing a relationship u ain't happy in when ur feel'ns are not being considered even after making ur fears known, love hurts but it doesn't ask u to keep hurtin' urself,

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chop off hic manliness!

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Why are u guys talking like this? Nonidus and others, This is a relationship that has ended for four good years. And this type of misunderstanding is bound to occur. They just have to overcome it. There is no business without loss. But just hope profit will Overcome. Im nt comparing this as a business. girl, Understanding is the key to every relationship. Moreover, Looking for another guy is not the best solution. How are u sure u are not going to have the same heart-break? My advice is just settle down with him and if he is not reasoning the way u are reasoning, Be urself at least for some months before going ahead of any relationship. Im sure if he is for u, He will still come back to u. For sure. Just be urself and don't think a lot about the issue. Just know that life must continue,

Stay cool,

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I will Bleep his closest friend and other friends as the case may be.

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what u guyz discussing , leave him instend of whinning and grinning , abi.plenty guyz dey outside

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@anothaviv - Omo i feel yo pain and understand the dilema. U've obviously invested a lot of time in this relationship, but at the same time u ave to understand that he's done it 3 times already (n probably still doing it). At some point u're going to ave to mak a stand, before u reach breaking point - there is no doubt that he luvs u, the question is can he be faithful, n are u prepared for the truthful answer?

@donenick - WHY, me i go skip all those classes.

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@ Topic

You need to talk with him. A guy might be seeing another girl and still have you as his love.

I have seen situations where a guy has a serious relationship and still keeps a few not too serious ones. What we do (sorry, I mean what such guys do) is to simply tell the other girls where they stand, if they are cool with it, then cool, if not, then they can buzz off.

Talk to him and find out where he places you, you would have to make him tell you the truth. If he uses you as a fiddle, then the best way to deal with him is to leave him with the other girl.

#Candid Submission#

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if he's guilty of the charges RIP HIS THINGY OFF

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Who put the figure @ 3? u or him? SWEETHEART,DNT WASTE FURTHER TIME.Once a cheat,always a cheat.He doesnt love u

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