Here are some qualities to look for in a healthy relationship: common values and similar culture, ability to forgive and be forgiven, ability to be challenged and confronted without defensiveness, desire to raise children, common goals. Ask yourself, Why do I want this relationship? To lose myself? To find myself?· To make up for what I lost in childhood? To keep me so excited I can’t be depressed? To boost my sagging self-esteem? To be a temporary fix until I decide I want something better? For security or someone to take care of me? To be in control? To show off to my friends that I can get a man? To get my parents off my back? To run away from my responsibilities? To find someone to support my children?