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Whats The Best Way To React If You Found Your Spouse Cheating?

I have always wondered and pondered on this. Since it is inevitable that men would cheat, then its surely goin to happen to me. iv seen soo many reactions lol, some women scream the place down, some quietly walk away, some lock up the bedroom door for days. None of them seemed to work tho, as the guys are STILL cheating. What would be the most effective reaction then?? How would you even react to such a thing?

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68 answers

Men are not always the culprits when it comes to issues such as this,both parties are.It is almost like a norm these days.We all have bitter memories.i once dated a girl who cheated on me 6months into the relationship.2 years later preparing for marriage we had a quarrel over an ex that keeps calling her and behold she walks away(i was devastated and was an emotional wreck but thank God for my family and friends),ends up getting pregnant for a family friend(under 5 months),gets married and a year later the marriage breaks up and now she wants back imagine. If i cheat i wont complain so much but brag a bit but when am not cheating then she need to waka as i no reach

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True yarns. . . a woman will always cheat on her guy when she knows he is going nowhere. And vice versa. Unless they are both crazy about one another, in which case they will empty their sexual energies into one another. No time for external adventures, each one will be thirstily anticipating being with the other one. This third case is very rare.

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^^^ Hahaha if you read what I said on this thread, earlier on, you will know why I said what I said the way I said it.

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Too many hypocrites on this thread. Lol.

D blank, I used to think like this. One experience changed it all. Sorry, some girls are just not worth precious time.

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Just walk away.And nefa take him back,simple

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Sincerley Speaking you have said it in christian and gentlemanly manner and i concur with you but this kind of action requires and takes the grace of God to maintain.

Thats the same question i would ask too.

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Let ur spouse be aware that u now,and dont say a word.

Dont shout,dont get angry,dont be offended,

But show him/her

That it isnt a good thing to cheat,

Simply by talking.

Ask wat u have done wrong

If nothing senseble comes out of it

Pls pls pls take ur leave.

Someon else will cheerish u EVEN more.

The person is not worth u.

You never know what you have until u loose ittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt.

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I'd like to have a 'fourth' marriage with oyinda

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@ OP

Assuming your guy is not the bang anything in skirt type. You are the one in control of weather he cheats or not. Men respond to what they see, keep him motivated and be adventurous.

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@abakeogun-If you have truly done what yuo said kudos to you --i am a guy and praying for your kind of woman. I am a straight forward person.

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jesus send this kinda woman my way!

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The best way to react is to make him know that you are aware of it. Then keep praying and move on with your life,never allow it to weigh you down.

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Marriage in our custom favours men--you think so? Women cheat more than men cos u wont know, a lady can finish adultery now and still come back acting innocent, but a guy cannot just hide it it will always show. Had it been the womens v, a can be caliberated to know its state at every moment it would have been tug of war all over.

Men Cheat and Women Cheatsssssssssssssssss.

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For me i would rather walk away and talk about it when am not very angry

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^^^^

Haha should we make a poll?

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i dnt knw y every lady keeps sayin guys cheat, funny enough ladies do cheat as well.infact studies show that women cheat better dan guys do,

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i think 'we' African men are just like that.U just have to take it like that.Our libidos are just too high except u are lucky to meet one who isnt.

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@topic. The best solution is 2 tie ur man down with african magic or else cheating cant be stopped,he likes variety remember.Hahaha

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you guys are funny

you talk like cheating is easy

like a man will walk out of his matrimonial house

and standing outside will be a woman ready to sleep with him!!

i laff in chinese

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CRY, CRY AND CRY UNTILL TEARS REFUSE TO GOSH OUT.

DON'T STOP CRYING UNTIL HE FEEL THE TEARS

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Its too painful to know ur girl is cheating on you especially when u are nt doing d same 2 her.As for me because she has the mind 2do that to me i wil equally have the heart to ZIP HER UP.you know how am going 2 do that i will open her legs exposing that thing that she can nt control nd pour a conc. Liquid gum inside lets see how she wil cheat again

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naaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

i tink cheap drugs

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I have read several posts on cheating on Nairaland and everytime someone raises the topic some people come out to kick against this reality among us.

Yes, not all men and women cheat, but beleive me the chances that it is going to happen to you is very, very high.

If you catch your spouse cheating? What better way to punish the person than to leave quietly after the discovery. If they still have a little conscience, he/she will come begging. What you do afterwards is up to you.

If they don't come begging , don't bother asking yourself why.

Realy it is a no win situation if you deeply care for them.

As for me, IT IS OVER. The image can't be erased from my mind lai lai.

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is no news,men have been cheatin startin 4rm our forefathers,women too are not laggin behind.am very sure if there have been many people on earth in d days of adam&eve quess d rest.y do we feel cheated?

1.each and every one of us wants to have somethin they can call their own.

2.the feelins of belongin somewhere.

3.to be loved.

       in dis this life nothing is so sure.we are all flesh and we will remain like dat till kingdom come.

      think abt hw many times we have wronged God,but when it comes to humane we flip,scatter hell.

  @op 4 me,i will jus walk away,one day when am gone,someone is goin to have her,she hasnt wronged me but no complain if i do likewise

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yes man has been disobeying since adam

murdering since cain

conning since jacob

betraying since judas

hoing since jezebel

the list can seriously go on

so,because our ancestors did it , does it make it right?

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try and act cool and collected, BUT SHE GOES THEREAFTER, you can sure take this to the bank.

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lol.yeah.guess wat i wi do.i wi make sure she is aware i caught them and i wi just say nothing.after this i wi start being exertionally caring 4 her unti i notice she her conscience has start punishing her.if her conscience did not punish her 2 d extent i want i wi punish her by leting her notice anoda girl wi me thou noting may not b btw i and dat girl

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Can forgive but forgetting is a different issue

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for me ooo.i wi make sure she notice i caught them.guess what i will do next.well i will then pretend as if i did not see anything&start relating wit her d normal way.i wi even go 2 d extent of being exceptionally nice 2 her and calin her those sweet names.wen her conscience start disturbin her she wi burst out.if she did not i wi make her fall so deeply in lov wit me by showin her much care den i wi revenge by letin her notice anoda girl wit me

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What if I only had the thought of 'sharing' 'it' with some one else?

Is that cheating?

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Men and Women cheat, only that Men cheat opening (i.e. never covers their tracks) while women cheat discretely and secretly.

Men can be liken to dogs, they want to do it anywhere, anytime, anyday. You see then on the streets, parks, roadside, markets, church, they are always ready to cheat at the slightest opportunity.

Women on the other hand can be liken to cats. I have never seen a cat mating but they always give birth to many kittens. They are very secretive, you handly see them, every woman is always a potential virgin once approach by a man for the first time.

So, the best way to react if you see your spouse cheating depends on the individuals involve. Some ladies get beaten up by the men, some men's properties like electronics, cars are destroyed by the women. Some react violently while others non-violent. It surely depends on upbringing.

For me, i will call it quits and try to recover from the shock. Also, i might forgive her depending on my state of mind. Thirdly, i will start a fresh relationship (as backup) even though i have forgiven her and i will do it openly so that she knows that i am really planning on dumping her if she fu-ucks up again.

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no not at all, uve even made it worst, wats the difference between him cheating once and cheating again?

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i just have to forgive her. ive cheated on her before.maybe na me cause am to do me back ;(

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OK. Let me simmer it down for you. I have heard that all men cheat. If this is true, then one man would eventually cheat on me. What can be done to stop it from happening[b] twice?

[/b]

get it now??

Lol not just women alone. I would actually love to hear a guy's view.

keep your cool? and then what? what happens after the test results come out? say they are negative. how do stop him/her from doin it again?

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If it's my galfriend, I'll man up to d dude(if he's someone I can handle) poking her and deliver several painful jabs to his cheek for straying into a croc's territory. I'll go home and help myself to some chilled cans of Guinness. I'll play along with my girl as soon as she apologises, but she'll never make it to the altar with me after I must have had enough of her I'd love to. If na my wife, she'd better start going to her father's house from there. No scenes will be created. After providing her all she needs. She has all d blames, not her cheating mate.

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Be it the man or woman that was caught cheating, what you do is to keep your cool (anger can put you into more problems) and abstain from having sex with him or her (even after reconciliation, if any) until a proper HIV/AIDS test is carried out.

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@Osama10 u got it right. well has never happened to me and i pray it will never happen

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now is this topic for women who's spouses cheat?

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Perhaps you may want to check the meaning of the word 'monogamist'

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Reminds me of a case way back, a newly married lady caught her hubby in the act doing it with a young girl. Enraged and acting wildly, she started screaming all kinds of things, attracting a size able crowd in the process. When she finally calmed down, she told the crowd what had happened, probably expecting them to help her descend on the man and his partner-in-crime still indoors!

Disappointed, someone shouted from the crowd;

Is that why you are screaming as if someone died? Did they sell his manhood to you alone?  

One after the other, the crowd thinned out, leaving the poor girl to bear her pains alone,

Its unfortunate that we { Africans} tend to take it for granted, especially when its the man doing it.

The best way to react is to leave your spouse if you cannot forgive and bear it.

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Please note that men are naturally serial monogamist,it takes the grace of God to find a man who has never cheated on his wife. My advice try not to think about it.MARRIAGE IN OUR CUSTOM FAVOURS THE MEN.

He enjoys the thrill of sleeping with a new face whether uglier or more beutiful than his wife

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BEST WAY to handle any situation is: play it cool.

Don't trip. Do NOT over react. Take all of the frustration and use it to built up strength. Be assertive. You may ask "How? That isnt realistic". Well everything is not for every body but you will find that no reaction, be it yelling or crying, is as intimidating OR powerful as playing it cool regardless of the outcome (if you stay or leave).

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@Post

Do nothing, if you caught them pants down just walk away jejely nothing spoil, don't shed ur precious tears for any man.

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As i always say it takes two people to cheat,a guy and a babe both prolly or not in r/ships.if i hear or catch my girl cheatin,id not hit her or tongue lash her.id know there's prolly sumtin im not doing properly or maybe i wronged her and she wants to take revenge.id try talk to her to know the reasons behind her act and reconcile our differences bt if we cant,then we just go our separate ways cos its not worth it anymore cos there'd be so much distrust and suspicion.life is too short to break ur head over someone's lack of respect for a friendship thats yet to be solemnized

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ok lets go back to the beggining

shes not trying to prepare for the cheating, shes looking to prepare some drama after cheating to stop him from cheating more

she didnt say she wants to know how to deal with it; but im beggining to think thats what she meant, in that case she needst o change it up!

and no, hell no, i dont go into relationships thinking, or fearing my guy will cheat, i dont prepare for cheating, i dont condone cheating, nd i dont believe all men cheat but if a woman does then her mind is made up and she should deal with it, not develop tantrunsy, but all the same people are different, noted- the only preparation for op is to take her husband to the hospital regularly for hIV testing and after having kids always use a condom!

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@ayettymama:

I don't think it's every preconceived notion about a circumstance that is accompanied by ideas of how you would deal with it.

If the OP says a man will inevitably cheat on her, then in my opinion it is the BEST option to JUST as well prepare for the event! How does this differ from a person who says "Most men in Botswana (just saying) are HIV+ so if I must go and roll in the hay there, must I not wear a condom"?

Prevention is putting the best foot forward, and so EVEN if the OP says it is inevitable, it is only clear logic that this must be the reason why she wants to know how to deal with it!

"In her brain the man has done the deed", you say, but we both know its not like that. There are things you FEAR in your heart, but when they actually happen in reality, you're another person. Fearing something and being prepared to deal with its happenstance are two different things.

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Ayetty. . .

I think you should review your logic. Its rather. . .unfounded.

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