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When Is ''cheating'' Cheating?

While watching a Nollywood movie (Reloaded), one of the actresses in the movie asked the question raised as the headliner of this thread. Stating her own line of thoughts on the matter.

I thereafter asked myself, is it until when I sleep with another woman, that I am actually cheating on my woman? What of, when I focus my attention and thoughts on some other emotional matters other than my partner, am I not cheating on my woman? A simple cursory glance of the definition of cheating defines it as:

Cheating:

[list]

[li]Informal. to be sexually unfaithful [/li]

[li]to practice fraud or deceit[/li]

[li]a person who acts dishonestly, deceives, or defrauds[/li][/list]

Therefore, how do you define your own cheating? Either as a male gender or a female gender. Must cheating only be viewed from the angle of sexual deceit in a relationship? Are there any other forms or variations to cheating?

Please air your views.

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100 answers

There is no need for theories and long essays on why both men and women cheat.

Only those who are immature or insecure in their relationship or marriage cheat.

A mature person in a secure relationship and marriage has no reason to cheat. But a mature person n an insecure relationship or marriage can cheat.

But I have always advised that it would be better and safer for you TO QUIT instead of CHEATING. Because, when you have left a relationship or marriage, nobody can accuse you of cheating. But to remain in a relationship or marriage and cheat on your partner is one of the worst evils to do and cheating does not only destroy relationships and marriages, but also destroys lives. Cheating is worse in marriage, because innocent children suffer most when their parents are unfaithful to their matrimonial vows. My heart breaks whenever I see children from broken homes and estranged or divorced single parents now left to bear the burden of the consequences of infidelity. There are no excuses for cheating since you have the choice to QUIT any bad relationship or marriage. JUST QUIT AND DON'T CHEAT.

When my fiancé cheated, I was mad, but I was willing to forgive her. But others are not that lucky, because many have been harmed and even killed for cheating. So, why cheat when you know it could be suicidal. To me those who cheat are just either silly or evil.

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What ever may be the case, love or out of hand/control, No one should cheat his or her partner, He or she should consult with his or her partner and solve together, there should not be someone 3rd person , If its revealed,it should be solved only by husband and wife and must go for the right even if there is nothing left for the partner, they should work together and obviously all love will return, No one should go for the feelings of love which is wrong,

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jennyching,

that's a strong point you raised there.

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@kanayo74

i like what u said, but what if it involves "love" , what if its in a point where its out of hand/control?

What if its already revealed and its time to choose? will u go for the right where theres nothing left

for ur partner or will go stand for ur feelings of love but wrong?

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Wif my own point of view:cheating mean abandon your wife in your own house and going out to do/make love to some woowoo women/girls,

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The word cheating simply mean, not playing by the rules,

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Well from my experience, cheating to me is when u start doing what u dont like to your partner.Example lying,when you lie to your spouse about your where-abouts,people you see, etc.This happened to me just last week,I saw a complimentary card with my woman and the name and no. was stored on her phone and i asked who the person is which she told me he was just someone introduced her to do business together by a friend of hers that i know.To cut a long story short i found out the guy wasn't into the business she talked about so i confronted her and she confessed he just gave her a lift some days back.Even nothing sexual happened between them i felt betrayed that why will she lie about such, especially when it had to do with the opposite sex,cus if something did happen thats how she keep it to herself.Well i plan on marrying her bt seriously am having my reservations cus she almost killed the trust i had in her. Am giving her a chance to mend her ways till then marriage is off the hook.

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Cheating has many faces and phases.

Just like lying.

A lie is a lie. Cheating is cheating.

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no better definition,cheating is cheating . it can be in any form. But the most popular one in Nigeria is when someone is having an affair outside matrimonial home.

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When you start having emotional attachment to someone else other than the one you're with

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Jesus said simple look with a desired heart to do is adultery. Cheating starts from there.

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if it is b/g 4get it. Cheat until u get serious and marry her. If u are marred already then u don't any option than to see pretty girls and assume them to be men in ur mind if u mistakely imagin or admire her too much then u have already cheat on ur wife emotionaly. So u ll be left with on choice than to confess to ur wife, u can do that this way. Sweetie can u imagin that devil just made use of me right now? She may screm and ask how? As a smart guy just say some me my self just imagin havin affair this urgly lady. Too bad for my kind of person, any way forgive me sweetie. Oh my lov i knw u cant do that is work of the devil.at long last u have confes and 4giving lol smal logic sha

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Cheating is cheating. Whether in the exam hall, in political elections, in defrauding other pple's money, or in marriage/retaionship.

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It's not a lie my sister. That's just the plain truth.

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There are some emotions you wouldn't want your partner to

be privy about and that's not cheating.

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hey all, new too, on the topic, when you feel a need to hide stuff u're doing with somene else from ur partner and of course u know within urself (if u have a conscience o!!) what u're doing is wrong, that's cheating, it don't have to be physical, there's something called emotional infidelity, depending on someone other than ur partner to make u feel the way u wuld want ur partner to, when u begin to look to someone outside of r relationship to fill that void, that to me is cheating,

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temmytej, just hop in. the fact you're here means you're already involved.

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Hi nairalanders, I'm real new. How to i get really involve here.

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Is it really only limited to sexual contact?

Is not an EA cheating too?

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when sex is involved, then there is no two way about it.

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You are cheating when you begin to engage in sexual action or even talks with anyone of the opposite sex-or maybe the same sex in this world we live in today, lol.

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exactly. no one is talking about hiding anything here.

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Your missing the point.

You know what your partner likes and dislikes. You know your partner will not like you talking to that particular man or woman so you do it secretly.

If your not an open book, your not trustworthy and that's my stance.

Sometimes you make calls to someone and your partner is not around no problem but if the occasion arises, you can always explain freely why that person called you or why you called that person.

Am not saying you have to report everything you did immediately to your partner, but if there isn't anything to hide then you don't need to lie.

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like sending a confidential text to your daddy about a family problem. like advising your

wayward brother on how to behave. like asking for a little assistance from your friend.

and of course making a secret call to the fast food restaurant on her birthday to

arrange a special surprise package. all these do not amount to cheating, do they?

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Sorry i have been sick and really just trying to hold my head above water lately. I cant wait to go under the knife at the end of the month. I will go over to sexuality and check out the break in r/s thread as well.

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@ Sistawoman You understand what am saying arnt your? Why hide is you are clean

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sistawoman where have u been !!! there is a post about u in the sexuality section and i had a question about the taking a break thing in a relationship

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What would be those somethings?

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@George D, To me it is called cheating. If I for example textmessage someone in front of my man it isnt a problem but as soon as I do it (on purpose) when he is not there then to me that means something is going on. Who am I texting and why isnt my man allowed to see me texting who ever it is am texting

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There are some things you don't want your partner to see and yet that does not

mean that you're cheating on him or her.

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Cheating;

yeah whatever.

Just save it for the rainy day. :'D

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a word is enough for the wise. Take it or leave it.

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Yeah, leave her alone for your own good.

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CHEATING IS NOT CHEATING IF YOU[b] DON'T GET CAUGHT![/b] I CHEAT ALMOST EVERYDAY AND IT MAKES ME HAPPY. MY GIRLFRIEND IS AN ANNOYING B*TCH!

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I agree wit ya.it kills d trust ur partner has for u n if u reali value and respect the relationship n ur partner,u might want to say no the next time such comes ur way.

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Cheating is nothing cos cheating is only when you're caught

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From what I understand, "cheating" is usually cheating when cheating is involved. How else would "cheating" be considered cheating? Wrap your mind around that!

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cheating whether or not you're caught remains same: CHEATING!

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the rate at which we're going in this country, we might start having one night stands where

every partner does as they please with whomever catches their fancy and promptly forget

about the whole encounter the next morning!

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@Whitelexi,

So you begin to build another relationship. You must agree that finding and keeping that special someone is serious work.

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Whitelexi,

Are you saying if a partner you are engaged to be married to is sleeping with some dude, that is not cheating ?

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nice one dear. Me I dey do and I dont mind if my guy do too. @whitelexi. I hope you wont mind if the girl you are dating has another man.  I like civilised people like you. We fit connect.

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We no fit connect, sorry.

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before or after. cheating remains the same

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When u commit adultery. . . Meaning u should be married first. I dont consider anything done before marriage to be cheating.

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Cheating is when you 'do' with another partner. Any other form is attempted cheating.

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Interesting topic pataki.

I think whenever one's focus shifts from your spouse to another.

It's called cheating.

Personally,I don't call it cheating if it's a boyfriend girlfriend situation because there's no lasting commitment in such arrangements and one could go through 2-10 relationships before settling down with one person in a committed marriage relationship.

As long as one hasn't said I do,if you find someone else,tell the other and move on

Simple.

What I call cheating in GF/BF is seeing some else behind another's back or stringing 2 people along.

As long a woman tells the BF on time before things get out of hand,it's not cheating.

She just changed her mind about being with the person.

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Anything you do with someone of opposite sex that hurts or can hurt your regular partner is cheating.

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@fiona,

We could even chat on messenger if you feel

like it.

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