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Who Is The Best Choice Among These Men?

I would start by saying I am not materialistic, but need candid opinions.

I have had good relationships, only for the guys to walk out. Leaving me devastated. Right now, I have about three strong options. I dont want to make a wrong choice and want to get committed to the one i choose too.

The 1st is someone I had been talking to for two years but haven't met. He is 15 years older than I am and resideds in UK,promised to come back soon and wants to marry me. I have shooed him away several times, only for him to remain persistent.

A class mate of mine in school asked me to go into a serious relationship with him too, by the way I will be 32 this year. He is my cousin's family friend and is that a criteria of getting the good man?

But there is this particular one I met and we talk well. He makes me talk unlike the others. He is Eshan, while I am yoruba.I know little about guys from that side. He is 8 years older too. He says he is serious and wants to settle down. Just met him like two months ago. Well, why I would give this one a chance is becos we talk well. But we are opposites, he is an extrovert, I am an introvert. He loves grooving but I am opposite. I am churchy but he is a different from me.

I am scared to jumping into the wrong one, what do I do. I pray and I am still praying.

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27 answers

Its good to have people to talk to atimes. I asked not because I have made up my mind.The esan guy asked me to get married to him and wants to know when to meet my parents in less than three months!

I told him that I would like to know him better before I introduce him to my folks and well he flared up and asked if it is because he is poor or has a terminal disease he has to recover from. I think he is pathetic and told him. I am waiting and hope to get my bearing soon.

Thanks fella for the good and the bad advice, will sift them through.

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@poster

u av indicated with ur post that u re interested in the eshan guy so why disturb us here.

1 he is 15 yrs older and u u ve neva met him (wrong)

2 he is ur classmate but u re 32 (wrong)

3 just 2 months but u used 5 lines to describe him while u used 2 lines each for 1 and 2.

from the analysis now my dear, no 3 man is who you want either extrovert, introvert, 2 months, churchy, clubby, or pracky.

dont waste time, its obvious who you want. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllllllllllllllllllll ttttttttttthhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeee bbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssstttttttttttt

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I strongly advice u pick the other one. I mean, that one!

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@ omolola1 u no jus b ordinari naija chic, u b proper concrete omo ijebu, see wetin b ur problem VISA,

@ martho dont sey she aint old yet

@ cvibe blive at times it aint der faullt dat tins turned out dis way i ve a friend who's 31 now and belive me she would do anytin 2 get married i mean anytin, dis people nid luv,encouragement not ?s

@ poster keep praying hard,1 tin i no 4 sure is God has a way of making tins work out jus fine, put ur trust in him

all d best i'll pray 4 u 2

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Honestly, if I had to make a choice today, I think the 1st and the 2nd guy are better for you.

The 3rd guy, is catching your eye for some reason and you find him intriguing.  He must be hot and/or have swagger because you are willing to take him without question.  But remember you have only known him for 2 months.  This may not work out the way you think.  You still have a long way to go with this one. RUN!!!

The 2nd guy sounds like a good prospect.  He is in school and he wants a relationship with you.  Their is a family connection and if your cousin is nice I don't think he would hook you up with a bad person.

The 1st guy sounds like top running for me.  He has remained through all of the men in your life for over 2 years.  He is consistent.  He is secure you have already established that.  I am sure you two have developed some kind of friendship.  I think you need to get more serious about this prospect and stop looking for non-sense like guy #3.  Start getting more personal in your conversation with guy #1. Get deeper.  Stop having the coy friendship talk you have been having with him. It seems like in #1 you have the skeleton of a good relationship and its time for you to WOMAN up to a real relationship. Its right there in front of your face. Its time to take it to the next level. If he is real he will MAN up. Just try to see him like 2 trips for a week or so at a time to see if you feel the beginnings of a romantic spark then you take it from there.

When you are looking to date OPPOSITES are great. When you are looking to marry SAME is the game.  Stop chasing rainbows! 

Again, my choices for you are #1 or #2, and run as fast as you can AWAY from 3 or you will end up regretting it.

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A cassanova will always be a cassanova.just wait for mr right,u r not too old.

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The third guy looks like the best choice outta of the three. . .take out time to really get to know him. . .it might be worth it.

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the thing is to find the RIGHT person, not to rush into the wrong one due to other reason than the ones i cited above. it doesn't matter how old she is.

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the 3 most important thing in a relationship is trust honesty and respect,  all the rest you can afford to loose.

if your man doesnt have all three then he is a no go.

if she waited that long then a few extra months even a year won't be a problem for her.

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@ Poster

The two most important things in any relationship is trust and money. Now make your choose wisely.

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@ post

d one whose pocket is full

d one whose hose is d bomb

d one whose heart aint a rock

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Thanks for all yah mails. I appreciate all the good and bad comments. Well, i NEVER HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THE RICHER ONES, BUT THE ONES i REALLY LOVED NEVER STAYED.Right now, I want to consider the eshan guy, and I would work to make things right .If it works out fine but I would say I have been to careful all my life and its time to take a stand. The UK guy, its scary to go into something with him. I flow more with the eshan guy, we talk gist, yab and fight,and come back again.I just want to just know that I wont face oposition with his family.

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@CVIBE

this was what I was inderectly saying, when they where at them age you mentioned they wanna flex, now gbam age cought up with them and reality sets in , now tell me, wetin do 23-27 yr old girls wey guy go search 4 33 eh? shine your eyes Oh

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@poster,

Not being mean, but i often wonder what makes a woman wait till 33 (met several single naija ladies in this age range)- makes me ask what they were waiting for in their early 20's and late 20's?

Now you're spoilt for choices between three, yet with no confirmation any of them will swallow the hook.

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hey poster

i would suggest to you to go with your gut instincts and feeling with the 2 local guys,

a 47yr old guy who haven't met you after 2yrs of chatting but yet is ready to marry you shouldn't even be considered (smell of desperation in the air),

there is a lot that you should put in the picture, which one makes you feel being YOU? which one do you feel more comfortable with? which one attracts you the most? whats important quality a man should have in your book? and does any of the candidates have them?

you can only truly know someone by spending time with them, time is whats important, you have to "test ride" them not in a few days/weeks BUT MONTHS if not years before really knowing them.

if you are not desperate then take your time to know them better before making your decision

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sometimes in life, we have to sow before we reap. Thinking that the  guy in the UK will not ask you for money is how some-how delusional becuase everything overseas is 50/50. You  have to  work like a horse in order to meet your own side of the bargain.

As per the guy in Naija, you to really have to  ask yourself what you are looking for in a man- a  provider or a partner? list his  positives on the positive side and his negatives on the negative side and then cross them out. See how his positives measure against his negatives and critically examine what they mean to you.

good luck

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I am etsako but if you tell me etsako or ishan I will tell you look very well before you leap. I know I will get a lot of smart Bottom comments about this but it is a cultural thing for them. If he is definitely Ishan find out if he grew up over there or if his father grew up over there but most importantly with any man, get to know his mom. If she is the weak type that cannot make a decision except for say wipe her Bottom then just know that her son will expect you to be the same.

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my dear, a bird at hand worth much more than a thousand in the forest.

i'll suggest u consider the other two.

but most importantly follow ur heart.

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. .see him abandoning his family to concentrate on u and if he does u'l have a lot of enemies amongst them

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this is why i am reluctant about the whole issue. I atimes get the feelings this guy has hidden agenda. atleast the girl would help him out abit. He even had plans to live in his fathers home that was left behind, that is at the B/Q. But atleast the UK girl, wont be asking me to give him money

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uhm. .i won't lie to you, if he doesnt have a job capable of taking good care of u and the other people in his life. . .

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Thanks for your words so far.

About this extrovert guy, well he is the one in charge of his home.

Lost his dad, like 22 years ago, takes care of his mum and 3 siblings. I dont have an issue with that. 

He used to be a cassanova, but now is ready to settle down.

He believes I dont send him and well pains him. I like him alright but just been cautious which he knows.

His job too is a point to me.I ready pray he gets a better job and add value to himself as he had been taking care of the others all his life.

Well, I pray things work out. Want to be serious this time.

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. .relatnshp with someone whom u have never met in person and might probably not like when u do@poster

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well, right now you might say you don't have it

but if you pay attention closely, your instincts will guide you

follow it

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i would suggest that u take more time to study the extrovert guy, i really think that might work out better than a. . .

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