Who Should Pay For Dinner Dates?
Who Should Pay For Dinner Dates? The Man Or The Woman?
There is this debate that we all like to avoid, but it stares us in the eye at almost every outing – especially if one is (un)lucky enough to be dating a richer partner. The question “Who should pay for dinner dates?’ is a familiar evil that has broken several relationships and threatens many marriages. How do we view it as individuals, couples or groups?
In my opinion, the man should pay for dinner dates, not as a rule but as a sign of living up to ones responsibility in the context of cultural and sociological perspectives of human living in this part of the world. The African man has a measure of pride attached to making his lady comfortable, toiling for her, making her happy, protecting her and doing all sorts that increases her level of comfort from building of traditional huts for her in time past to opening the car door for the lady in modern times.
Moreover, it is almost generally accepted worldwide (except in the West where honour has been thrown to the dust bins!) that wooing the opposite sex is the man's responsibilities and dinner dates are preludes to an established relationship and necessary impetus to sustain the excitement in any existing relationship. The man should seize the opportunity of a dinner date to appreciate his partner or girl friend, he should endeavour within the limits of his purse, to thrill his partner at every dinner date. He should allow the lady to pick her choice on the eatery menu. If they have already established good rapport he could let her know the limits of his purse such that the cost of such dinner dates does not unnecessarily affect other bills.
However, the act of buying so much for a lady at any dinner date at the expense of ones budget for other issues and items like family upkeep, school fees, telephone bills and others is not ideal. It is a measure of financial immaturity and a display of misplaced priority. Moreover, some men are fond of buying stuffs they haven’t tasted in a life time and cannot afford to take at dinner dates just to impress a newly found love (she eats while the mope at her, trying to curtail their displeasure at not being able to afford the delight in duplicates); this is mere deceit.
It is also not always compulsory that a dinner that should cost a fortune especially in the light of weak national economy. With mutual understanding among couples, a dinner date could often times be as cheap as convenient for the financial standard of both the man and the lady, without necessarily diminishing the quality of the fun achievable. This essential state of understanding, which is very compulsory for partners who have envisaged, marrying one another, could put to rest the argument as to whether it is a man or a woman that is to pay for any dinner date.
Another important factor, especially for already married couples, is the allocation of social responsibilities based on mutual understanding or marriage contract. Often, it is the responsibility of the man to stock the house with foodstuffs while the lady does the cooking; however in rare case the lady might have accepted to cater for the kitchen independently while the man’s pay packet is used for capital projects like building houses. In such homes, it is common to see the lady paying for dinner dates – often she suggests it especially if she is not prepared to do kitchen chores at that moment.
Finally, there is no crime in a lady paying for dinner dates. It is however criminal for a man to expect a lady to pay for dinner dates. Although, from experience, one must have observed that most disciplined ladies do not allow a man to pay their bills on the first date. Rarely, a lady may also decide to threat his man to a dinner date, men do not need to feel too pompous to accept this offer, just reciprocate it in hundred folds shortly afterwards!