Marriage is one of the key decisions we can make in life. Learn how to pick your life partner and spouse following these 5 best tips for Nigerians.
Most people are looking for life mates. They do not want to be alone, so they marry. The question is – who to marry? The answer might be a little more complicated than you think. Here is a pretty fact for you. The scientists have taken the trouble and calculated that the odds and chances of YOU being born in this age, in this country, with these genes, in this family and all the rest of it (including such factors as wars, famine, revolutions, coups, diseases, etc.) equals to 1 to 400 (now start counting those zeros!) 000,000,000 (one to 400 trillion)!
This fact alone means people do have trouble picking their life mates! Those you want to be with are as unique, as you are. The idea of finding the exact match has even more odds against it. So, if your goal is happy married life, you better use your heart and intelligence to do the best you can do picking the spouse. These tips may head you in the right direction. So, who to marry?
- Someone available
Folks nowadays want to know why there are so many divorces out there. The reason for this is pretty obvious and simple. People marry unavailable partners. What it means is not that the other person is married to someone else. However, such things happen, too.
Girls start dating married men (the unavailable ones). They are being told things like: my marriage is a failure, I’ll divorce and marry you. Just think of it: if they are cheating on their spouses right now, what makes you think they would not cheat on you?
Other forms of “being unavailable” include addiction. A person may be into drugs or alcohol. You believe you would save them. Really? Most likely you are not the first person trying to do that. The Bible teaches us to pick equal or adequate partners for life. When someone is addicted, you do not really know their true personality. Even if they get cured of the addiction, they may not be the right person for you anyways.
People date cheaters, liars, those with no intention to get married, settle down and have family. All those types of unavailable folks can make you really miserable in marriage. If someone is after fun and they have a party lifestyle, and you are very home and family oriented person, why would you want to change them into your image? They are happy with who they are. This means the person is unavailable to you, at least at the moment. Stop pursuing such girls or guys and find your match.
- Your best friend
Why do people get married? Good question. Most of us do not marry for sex or money. We marry to find a companion in life. Someone who would share our ideas and ideals, our values. That is exactly how we pick our friends. So, why not marry a lady or a guy who is your good friend. You already have so much in common. You share the values and know how to have fun together. You might have had some tough times and a good friend would stick with you through thick and thin.
So, after all marrying your best friends is not such a bad deal. These people are reliable and trustworthy. They really know you and love you for who you are.
If you have mutual affection, then why not go for it? When the mad love and passion fails, life goes on and friendship lasts.
- Someone good with the family
Just sit down and write all your ideas about a great family. Do not compile a portrait of a perfect family. There are no such things on this planet. Just a great family. Simple things, like: I want her to be a good cook or to be handy with kids. I want him to handle all the “men” work around the house or be a good driver. Just make a list of such items simple and useful in life.
Now take off your pink glasses and evaluate your boyfriend or girlfriend using those criteria. Yes, he might be a great party boy, but would he make a good husband? She might be glam and slim, but would she make a good mother? These simple things could make or break your marriage.
- Someone you can trust
I should better say someone, who has earned your trust. When we “fall” in love, it’s pretty much like falling into a pit. You can’t see that much around you and you go crazy.
Falling in love we start trusting those unworthy of it. Make sure your trust is well deserved. Otherwise, you put your heart at stake, or rather your heartbreak.
Trust is so essential to relations. Do not shut your eyes at the red flags. Do not tack away that uncomfortable feeling of mistrust. If you keep on checking what s/he says every time and you cannot rely on their words before you get married, it would only get worse after. READ ALSO: What to say when toasting a girl in Nigeria.
- Someone that is equal to you
The Bible says: “equal” helper. We also call it: seeing “eye to eye” with each other. If she wants to go north and you want to go south, how do you suppose to get along well as partners? Having similar level of education is essential. Research shows that the rate of divorce among such couples is lower. If you are a country boy, do not pick a model for a wife. You would not be able to come up to her expectation and she would fail yours. Just be adequate at self-evaluation and choose wisely.
These tips on who to marry may help you get a little more realistic in life. Falling in love is fun and exciting, but it does not last long. You end up with the real person with their shortcomings and troubles. They better be your match, or your married life can become a misery. Do not rush it and take your time to think things over to have a happier and more fulfilling life.