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Why Are Some Successful Sisters Not Married?

Sup guyz, i want to ask this question cos i've been making research about it. Please tell me why are some successful sister not married?

Holla back.

Chao

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87 answers

Well, a man food is another man poison.

It's a matter of choice.

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Some successful sisters aren't married, yes. Have you actually thought of the fact some ladies don't want to get married? Being unmarried is not a disease, it doesn't detract from anyone, male or female.

In short, marriage isn't for everyone.

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@all: 1st n foremost women+success+money=dynamite. psychologically dy cant handle all ds wtout it gettn into dr head,so guyz shill. dy r simply actn tru to dr nature. notn wrong in being successful as a woman but point is most of them ain't meant to b married to cuz dy cant stay under a mans roof.no big deal.guyz dz calibre of women r gud to date n party wt.wifee:naa. better to dig ur own grave n bury urself.at least u r sure of d dimensions,

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the question should be, are the ladies willing to marry sum1 who makes less than they are making and still be willing to honor the man?

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Of course some men may be intimidated by a sisters success due to a fear that may stem out inferiority complex or arrogance from a s sister. But its a known fact that most woman tend to become arrogant when they are the top and no man would like to be a rubber stamp. Successful sisters should come down from their high horse and likewise pray for to God for the right man cos two heads are better than one

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be dumb, under-achieving (better if you have no goals at all) and beautiful

recipe to have them trooping at one's door

for those that are so smart as to miss the sarcasm there

yeah that's all i can say - smart.

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exactly. and even if she decides to go below her standard and hook up with a less successful guy, the guy might be unable to handle her success and become resentful.

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the truth is, depending on which part of the world you find yourself,

an educated and successful black woman is sometimes an intimidating specter to men.

mainly because with the more degrees and achievements she's had in her life time and the age they come with,

there are fewer available (in terms of emotional availability, matching up to her high standards, etc) men for her.

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Some are saucy and very wild inaddition to their arrogance.

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some of our nigerian men feel inferior with a woman more sucessful than them or more educated than them

why some of these our successful girls feels that money is everything and try to control anyman that comes there way with that and men dont like that

,plus alot of them have bad attitude and cant keep a man.

and some are scared of our men coming only after there money so they prefer to be single and rich than get rift off by fake men.

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Sacrificing marriage on the altar of success is sweet, but in the end we are all humans designed by an all-knowing God who understands the value of relationships more than we ever could. Everyone craves companionship!!! If the "successful" sistas and brothers like, they can hide behind the lie that they are satisfied in the progress they are making; ultimately they will succumb to the truth (even if only to themselves) of the incompleteness and consequent frustration of being alone at say 50 or 60. My brother's first boss was a very successful but unmarried telecomms professional, and she was in the habit of chewing on everyone's asses whether they did right or wrong-there was simply no satisfying her. The same goes for the brothers- how would u feel coming home to ur dog at the ripe young age of 49? We think people can live alone all their lives cos we see only their game face-they are actually dying inside. WE ALL WANT SOMEONE WE CAN CALL OUR OWN, WE ALL NEED COMPANIONSHIP. Trust me, I should know. I have an extremely beautiful,very successful (she just moved to another bomb job) elder sister who at 37 is single. As her younger brother I have the privilege of seeing both sides of her (public and private). My advice is: find a way to manage companionship with that success cos companionship and not success is more enduring. Why else did God himself say "it is not good for man to be alone". Are you funny GIRLS and boys gonna contradict the BIG MAN UPSTAIRS cos u make some paper? I work and I'm building something with a beautiful Head Accountant of an International Organization who is humble and does not gimme gray hairs though she has a clear sense of where she wants to go! Success indeed, Hmph!!! Accept u r failing in relationships and need to change tact. Mwah

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imagine resently i told a male friend that i wanted to return to school for a masters degree and he sincerely begged me not to untill i am marrierd.

i did not get it so i asked him why

guess what he said "how many Nigerian young men have a Phd?

does that not answer your question?

the men MUST always be more educated, earn more, etc.

and if the feel you pose a treat to their superiority-they run like Chioma Ajunwa.

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well, you have a creative signature niceguy. lol

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@mekoyo

wow,men i never knew u were such a good writer,well keep it up

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Hmmmmmmm, well it may be as a result of family problems, societal problems and personal reasons.

1.  Family problems: for instance, this sisters may be the first child of the family, the only educated one and may have siblings. In a situation whereby the parents cannot afford to fend for the younger ones, this responsibility is being drawn to the first child which may be this sister. She has to pay the school fees of the siblings, make sure they are well fed, etc. If she gets married tell me how she is going to combine her family responsibility with her siblings? This may be one of the reasons.

2. Societal Problems: Some may be as a result of societal problems. the kind of society in which they find themselves and it may affect them psychologically.

3. Personal Reasons: Some could be due to personal decisons. you know, you can tell what their thoughts are.

4.  Curse: Some have been destined to stay idle till their death in this kind of situation, prayers must be made to break that curse.

5.  Disappointment: Due several disaapointments from the opposite sex, hopes have been lost on marriage, they therefore decide not to get married.

6. While some wants someone that more richer than them so they wont have to compete their weal,th together.

I think this are some of reasons behins this handicapped situation.

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i agree with you.

@ topic

some choose not to get married because they fill fulfiled by there career and cna't simple share anything with a man,they can have relationships but can't be bothered with the marriage side.

or some i think can't find a man, simple. they either become unapproachable due to their success or become unrealistic about the sort of mate they want.

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this topic's still alive

there aren't as many succesful "brothas" and the "sisters" don't want to settle for less.

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Marriage has never being a mark of success; look around you and you'll see that there are more unhappily married than unmarried women. Family life is beautiful and worth ones while when there's mutual love and respect and that's what we should aim for not some signed paper that say "owned!"

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So nice to read Idekson's response to Ontop (below you mean), I wonder on what side of the bed you rose from the day you wrote that.

Babawilms you got it all wrong; Seun was simply rubbing in his sarcasm in relation to your lame ideas.

Men want women to share responsibility but not authority. Have you asked why?

I know of a guy who fell in love with a lady from a rich home and simply because she is from a rich home (na her offence be that) he never mentioned his desire to her. Maybe the lady loved him too but 9ja culture forbids a female to initiate the relationship. Today she is unmarried and he is richer that she is but he consoles himself by being her confidant; I really wonder why she gives him that joy of tagging along.

Older men go for young successful women because they already have had their share of bossing a woman around and after all the oga game they realise they need more than a subservient woman; they realise the beauty should match the brain. Then they go all out to encourage whoever they meet to reach the very top.

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jachoz - i hope we would meet someday in this ph city of ours were life is enjoyable to its fullest even when some girls are ugly.

lets face facts have u ever asked ur self the so called succesful sisters are not that 100% beautiful. it is just like seperating the wheat from the the chaff. the beautiful ones are already selected either they r succesful or not.

please dont kill me in this forum for saying the truth but we all know it is. like they say na from clap e enter dance. maybe no body said how r u to them, they r now chasing career and telling me it has to do with success thats why the men are scared- scared of who?. (dracquila).

the basic truth is that when a lady have got attitude these days the guys run from them be it successful or not

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huh, guys are scared of successful ladies coz they love to dominate, and make the ladies feel less,

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lmao! it dun make sense to me.

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Hey Honey listen, thats not wat i'm meant ok, an listen i'm not saying majority of em' arent good ones wit good motives, there are some who would want their husband to yell at them cos the have money also so they would want to yell at their husbands at any given time.

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it wasnt an excuse do u want them to marry some guy they will regret marrying in the long run

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Listen babe, i understand wat u mean but i think u'r sayin' a vise-versa, The question is y arent successful sista's not married, do u think their wealth gets into their their head or some men are too intimidated to approach them, wat do u think?

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some men feel that they should be the money bringer in the family so if the girl is making more money they may feel intimidated. but i just comes to show you that females don't only rely on the guys to bring in the money and to support them. in america, womens here get so lazy because they expect the men to do everything and when the family goes bankrupt, they blame the guy for not even trying and then they leave the guy. so having a wife or girlfriend who are sucessful is pretty much a blessing cuz there is always room for back up.

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@ topic: cos they don't want to !

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I wouldnt want my wife to control me, and neither would i want to comtrol my wife cos its like me having the old time mentality, that your wife have to kneel when bringing ur food, and stuffs like that, to me thats slavery.

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would you want to be controlled by your wife?

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Thats where the problem is, most of em' dont want to stay under anymane and cos they've got so much success, its hard cos they control things, money, people e.t.c, and wouldnt want to be controlled by their husband.

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I quite agree with a lot of views stated, but have we try asking ourselves if most of the Successful sisters are willing to be under a Man? It is important to know this because, if they are not, there is nothing any man can do. An average man is egocentric, but a good lady will always get the best from her man or any man she desires. It all depends on her though there could be some men who can be very difficult. Have u seen a man that a lady can not control? NO WAY!!

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abeg ask them ooo, people and their big nose.

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ppl r so nosey. succesfull sisters r not married cos they havent found the right person or for one reason or the other. which one b ya own palava?

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If u must knw, i'm down with this answer, and its xactly the problem must of them have.

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There are so many reasones Why  Some Successful Sisters Are Not Married:

1. Because they haven't found the right person 2 love them regardless of what they have.

2. It could be pride, they want someone richer than them or someone their class.

3. some of these women like to control their man, no man wants 2 be  control by a woman. Also

4. it  can be the woman's attitude sending all the men's away.

pls don't get me wrong.

sometimes is the men fault 2, they lie to the lady dat they love her because of her money, then they eat the money and  run away, leaving the ladies heartbroken

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There are so many reasones Why  Some Successful Sisters Are Not Married:

1. Because they haven't found the right person 2 love them regardless of what they have.

2. It could be pride, they want someone richer than them or someone their class.

3. some of these women like to control their man, no man wants 2 be  control by a woman. Also

4. it  can be the woman's attitude sending all the men's away.

please don't get me wrong.

sometimes is the men fault 2. they lie to the lady that they love her because of her money, then they eat the money and  run away, leaving the ladies heartbroken

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[color=#000099]Carol Clewlow gives a refreshing and hilarious celebration of women in her book 'Not married, Not bothered' -- bringing out a woman's right to joyfully celebrate whichever lifestyle she chooses, at whatever age she is. I say this to my girls: 'I'd rather get married at 60 and enjoy 20 years of pure bliss, than get married at 20 and enjoy 60  years or pure torture.' - All girls on here wil probably admit i am right. In a masculine-declared MAN's world, how many men give relationships and the women within them the respect and appreciation it/they deserve?Let's not go as far as the nitty grittys of many of today's sham-marriages. When guys realise that marriage and macho are not mutually inclusive, then US single, beautiful, responsible, independent, level-headed, loving, respectful, successful, willing women will probably PROPOSE to you - until then, I'm clearly not boverred!

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whatever.

Marriage na choice

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it takes some woman a very long time to become successful, and lets face it is easier to find a blue pig than it is to find a nubian jack who would love you unconditionally, so why waste your time.

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The so called successful sisters do not marry not because they don't want to.

Some few things kill the interest of men who would have loved to be associated with them.

1. They feel too big to be under any man.

So no respect.

2. high taste and high cost of living.

3. looking down on men.

4. They attract many men unto themselves and men may think they are loose.

Some are actually loose though.

ETC.

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How about getting married when you become involved with someone you'll like to spend you're life with. The idea that at some point you must get married wether it's your choice or not is completely ludicrous and archaic.

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marriage i believe is not a must but in the case of most successful sistas, i guess its the complex thing with guys and guys if you're real with yourselves, you'll agree with me. and besides, telling that kind of sista you want to eat pounded yam at 5pm on tuesday is definitly out of the question so a "made" sista is kinda scary because they wont submit easily and boost our egos as much as we want.

right?

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you want make she they control the man

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Me sef, I dey wonder, ehn. What is wrong with a man cooking?  Some men cook better than 10 women put together sef. I mean, there is nothing sexier than a man who is self-sufficient not to mention the type that will put a woman to shame in the kitchen .

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hmmmnnnn

My, there are some assumptions and wrong conclusions being drawn from this discussion, though understandable as some people can be passionate about their views. But I hope it will not take away from the discussion, sha.

I didn't grow up with a submissive mother/parent, my mother is a very independent individual and my parents are still together. When two people mutually respect each other and understand each other, they learn how to compromise without belittling their partner.

There's a common misperception that NOT BEING SUBMISSIVE=ARROGANCE or a woman being in control. This is, of course, false.

@ Seun, thanks, but you might need to look a little further for those "honest men", cause I am a woman (in every sense of the word). Or maybe if I am feeling up to it, I will tell them to come register on nairaland or something, haha. But I am sure there are lots of honest men on nairaland.

@ prince_onx, I feel like we're going 'round in circles, LOL,  so I'll have to leave it there.

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David I own you a dollar!

Nia, my one and only point here be say if you get reason wey make you decide to be single, wether na because your papa dey bit your mama, or your sisters, friends, relative marriage no work so marriage come dey fear you, that na good reason! very good one to decide to be sinlge! maybe there is but e hard well well to find a sister out there that will just wake up one day and decide to be single all her life! but if you're here telling me you chose to be single simple because you're too successful to submit to a man, or you're raised to be independent, or being married will contradict your believe and ideas, or that submissive (which I still don't know what some people define it to be) will make you inferior then I'll look you in the eye and tell you you talking snakesh**t! (if you've seen one).

I know there're men out there that think or believe a lady is weak because she's submissive, there're some that think submissive means worshipping him, alot think because they're the men a woman have no say! NO! that's not what I'm saying or campaigning for! If you are not happy in a marriage and you're there because of some cultural nonsense, then you're on your own! African, America, Asia, whereever! no one should be living in bondage all in the name of marriage! if my sisters husband is abusing, cheating or doing all kind of sh**t outside, I'll be the first to ask her what the hell she's still doing there! culture or no culture, children or no children!

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@ davidylan it will be interesting to note what your reaction will be like when your wife insists you do your own share of the cooking one day!

umm, what is wrong with that, Assuming that you are joint breadwinners, what's wrong with joint homemaking? Abi, women are dogs?

does the lower rate of divorce (if that is accurate) mean that the marriages in naija are happier, I think not, women are just conditioned to stick out unhappy marriages for fear of being stigmatized! Times change hon, I'd much rather be divorced (there, I said it!) than stay in a marriage in which the guy took it in his head that he was somewhat mentally superior to me in the name of submission bla bla bla

And yes, women are equal and I'm a proud feminist (which does not mean I hate men, quite the opposite, can't seem to get away) , beat me up!

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Marriage is about love and not about who brings in the money or not. The problem some men have is that their Ego is much that they would want their friend to come home and see them at home and ask "where is ur wife, and he'll say, Oh she's gone to the office". But i dont see anything wrong if my wife earn better than i do, but it depends if u have a good wife who wouldnt always expose ur a** outside.

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