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Why Are We Always Attracted To The Unattainable?

why do we always want what we know we cant have? why do i always like guys who:

a)dont like me back

b)are already in a relationship or something

c)just generally unavailable?

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32 answers

Am guessing your a pretty girl. Just have to be more careful. Always SCAN the guys that come to you before you date them & no blind yourself jump into relationship!

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@OP, i totally understand where you're coming from

you're very pretty by the way.

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get to know what u really want dear.dont fall prey to men's sexaullity ok

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As someone earlier said, nothin is attainable, plus it's just d way u're lookin at it. take a paradigm shift & step up ur games & more guys than u know will be droolin all over you. period.

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An undaunted Jennifer turned to Gladys. “So do you think any of these guys attractive?”

“Some of them are but not for me…”

“Why not? I think that guy over there has an interest in you.” Jennifer pointed discretely.

Gladys looked and shook her head. “Actually, there’s another guy I’m interested in.”

Both girls were all ears and pulled closer to her. “Tell us all.”

Gladys laughed, “There’s nothing much to say. I met the guy at a party I attended with my aunt a week ago and he wanted my number. His name is Edward…”

“What exactly happened at the party?” Jennifer dragged her chair closer.

“It was a short party so we didn’t spend a lot of time together. We danced together for a while then he gave me his card and said he would love to see me again.”

“Wow, he sure goes straight to the point.” Ayo leaned back.

Jennifer nodded. “That’s my kind of guy. I guess he’s a bit older than our group here?”

“Maybe a bit, he’s in his mid-thirties.” Most of the people in the youth group were in their twenties and the few she had spoken within the last two months seemed more interested in having fun than settling down. A few had paired up but were still commitment-shy. “And to tell the truth, we’d met before the party.”

“That would explain it. Did you guys meet at work?”

“We met in January, the day I arrived here in Lagos. Mind you, nothing happened then but I can’t help thinking that’s why we clicked so well at the party.”

“That’s so sweet, he gave you his card. Did you call him?”

“I texted him and he called. We’ve spoken a few times since.”

“You’ve been hiding this from us all…” Jennifer began.

“What does he look like?” Ayo interrupted.

“He’s good looking, a lot taller than me.”

“Give me a taller guy any day.” Ayo was a very tall girl herself.

“Are you guys in a relationship then?

“He hasn’t said anything but I’m already conflicted. I don’t know whether to pull out because he is out of my league. I think he may just want to toy with me.”

“What do you mean?”

“He’s a big shot managing director.” Gladys brought out his card and passed it around.

“I recognize that name. I may have seen him in City People, ”

“I’ve told you to stop reading that junk.”

“Leave me abeg. I get my news from there; you keep reading your Guardian and Newswatch.”

Ayo glared at Jennifer and turned to Gladys. “There’s nothing like he’s out of your league. You’re a fine person and if he wants to know you more, give him a chance.”

“We agree. Please I’m all for love, it conquers all, you know?”

Gladys laughed, how did I know you girls would say that?”

“Just keep us posted on what happens. "

Love can conquer all and nothing is unattainable. To read the whole book, download it here http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=4531432

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don_ese125, maybe u live in the bronx; maybe ure violent, maybe ure too sneaky for ur own good, who knows. clearly the problem is u!!!!

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about the playing safe part. i like staying in my comfort zone.

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yer. a lot of you just arent gettin it. the only person that's made sense to me is

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very simple greed . in yoruba language it is ojukokoro

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@OP

U got me thinking twice when i saw your pic. . .can swear u're a male. . .

From your post, i'd say this:

a - It happens to most people, and not only you. If it happens to you often, then i think it's more psychological than physical.

b - Perhaps subconsciously, you like getting what you cannot have. Am not saying you're greedy, mind you. It could also mean that your subconscious mind sees such things as a challenge so that's why you're being drawn towards such guys.

c - A answers this one.

On a general note, i think your problem is rather psychological and i'll also advice thus. . .

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its because there is conqueror inside of us. what does not look like a challenge is not attractive to u. its human nature to move on to the next mountain once u have conquered on.

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You dont have to negative . . . . think positively and what seems unattainable will be attained.

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Fate can be so cruel at times

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You don't look like woman.

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Maybe you should try looking more femminine. It goes beyond the hair, make-up, earrings etc

Sometimes we need to make a little effort and look like women.

Sorry, not trying to be hard- just giving my two-pence.

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@POSTER

I like this topic you have here. Infact if you stretch it further you will agree with me that it is one of the major reasons why we have breakups here and there in relationship especially marriage. Our young ladies these days have big eye, always being attracting and wanting to enjoy what they cannot afford or have. By looking out for men who have all these they tend to end up with established and already married or hooked guys.

This happens cos most of our young ladies today are very very LAZY and Lousy! They cannot workhard and hold their own. Even when they are in relationship, they cant bring in anything to the table but will sit and just be grabbing from the men, the rich men! Go to our university campuses you will see beautiful good looking and gorgous ladies hang out with men from semister to semister, from yr one to final yr without improving their brains and their life of what they can achieve for themselves, instead they sit by and make a roll calls of the riches guy in town. Every day runs with pot-belly politician or that business tycoon. Ask her to lick, she will lick you everywhere including the anus all thru d nite. In the morning she, wears an attractive clothes, spray hottiest perf, walks out with some cash, begin to move around looking for the next place cash and luxllary will flow from.

You will see greed and desperation in her to kick the poor house wife out of her happy marriage just to sit on top of the husband cash. People will tell her leave this married man alone but she wont hear. Now they operate like a group with team leaders swinging around the country from the hot spot Abuja senators to all the places it is happening spending 8 years around the campus host community, to graduate or not is not their business. And the most annoying thing is that 85% of them end up hooking to the really rich guys for marriage, cos for most rich men what they after is my wife is beautify and sexy! Well, women u na dey try sha! U na dey rule the world!

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Because we don't know the difference between love, infatuation, and fascination, among other things. We think of loving someone as loving a Sunday or having sex. which is a very immature side of us.

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its because as human beings, we never appreciate what we have or can have till its gone.

NB

@ Don_Ese125

From your pic i could have easily mistaken you for a guy.

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because you're playing safe. Probably deep down you dont want a relationship with them anyway. Or you like pain.

greed?  envy? playing safe?

you're afraid of deep commitment.

Guys who are "unavailable" wont be as emotionally demanding as those who are, in your opinion.

I do know some women who only date married or engaged guys. Most were influenced by their experiences growing up or with a prior relationship which didnt work out.

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some women set their standards way to high from what they can possibly get, you have to be reasonable about it all.

for example, if you are a boring/shy/unattractive person looking to date the most funky guy in town then i would say that your chances are pretty slim, not impossible but S L I M.

as i always say, you have to look at yourself and ask:¨what is it about me that makes me only get attracted to these kind of men. you are the source of the problem, NOT US.

-if a man dont like you back then accept it as fate and move on, or do you think that love is by force?

-if a man is in a relationship then you shouldnt even consider him as a potential guy and therefore the question shouldnt even be in the topic. if you didnt know he was in a relationship then the fault is STILL on you for not checking him right.

the first rule in considering a guy is that he should be AVAILABLE ie S I N G L E, sulking on how hot he is while in a relationship wont help your cause. some girl have all the attributes to get the top guys, if you aint got them then settle for the guy below or even lower.

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i guess you have the right idea of staying away from someone who is unavailable but sometimes you just have to go for what you want (as long as what you want is not married lol)

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Why Are We Always Attracted To The Unattainable?

answer== dere are no such thangz as `UNATTAINABLE`

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oh. . didnt see it that way.

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Because I am sure that was why she made the comment. If you had a wig and a ton of make up she wouldn't have been so rude.

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Think positive. Why do you ever think there is something you cannot have?

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I'm not looking for a guy.

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hey girl den u need a guy lik me phone= 0806688221 email = henryjoey13@yahoo.com

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@paroh-ouch. @Bee,thanks.

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dont mind her

if thts ur pix, u are an attractive natural woman so just bide tyour time

the right person will come

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because you are just too lame to see.

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