We all dream of eternal and faithful love, but at times people cheat. Find out why do men cheat, learn the reasons and things you can do to prevent it.
Men usually cheat because they tend to break the rules or because they think they can. Scientists believe some men cheat due to being pathological cheaters. Other men cheat because they cannot find value and satisfaction in their legal relationships.
Of course, there is no clue that can settle all the cheating cases out there. There is no one answer to the question: why do men cheat on wives? However, there are certain reasons we can debate that would help women to understand it and actually fix it.
It is not true that women are always the ones to blame for men’s infidelity. However, if you know things that can pull him away and increase the probability of a certain behavior, you can fix it. So, let’s review the “fixable” reasons of why men cheat.
- Lack of sex
Surely this is what most men like to hear. You see, men not just like sex, they love sex. It may take time for women to learn to enjoy sex. It comes naturally to men. So, if a man does not receive enough sex at home with his wife… well, he is going to find it elsewhere. Shortage of sex is a terrible strife for men. Of course, in Nigeria in many cases men are sex initiators. However, from old times in the
East and in Africa wise women knew how to make love to men in an unforgettable way. Making love is an art. Lots of Nigerian men just do their business and go. Although, if a wife becomes the perfect lover to her husband, she cuts down the chances of him cheating. Now he has something really precious to lose. Start thinking outside the box and learn the handles of your man. Discover tricks of turning him on and teasing him. Make sex with you the best experience he ever had.
- Lack of emotional connection
Men are robust, but that does not mean they do not crave any emotional support. The stats indicate that over half of all affairs start with friendship. It’s the emotional link that pulls men into physical cheating. The trouble is how much are you there for your man? It can be hard. We get so much on our hands: the kids, the house and the job. These days most women cannot afford the luxury of staying home and just being a wife and a mother.
Still, your marriage should remain the main focus of life. You should give your husband time and attention he needs. You know what is so different about Western women? They compete men instead of completing them. If you do your best at completing than he would have no cause to look for it in someone else.
- Lack of appreciation
What is appreciation? Well, it’s one of the top male needs. It even stands above sex. A man needs to be praised and admired for who he is. Usually mothers are good at it. They know how to praise their sons and be fond of them. That is why sons often times love their mothers so much and get so attached to them. They know they can find appreciation from their mother no matter what.
Often times a man is not looking for extra sex. He is looking for extra praise. Men are created in the image of God. No matter what religion you confess, what you do is you praise God and show Him your appreciation.
That is what men are after.
- Lack of care
Care is very practical. It’s about good cooking, washing, cleaning, looking good for his sake. Care can be expressed in small ways. Who in the world know your man better than you? At least it should be so. Most of us greatly appreciate the small things and small joys of life.
There are some things men want, but they would never tell you about those desires. One easy way to show him care and make him happy is to heed to him and esteem him. Men crave respect. Show it through your care. That would keep him from finding it from another woman.
- Cheating friends
Friends are very important for men. And these can either influence them for good or for bad. The stats show that cheating friends highly increase the chances a man would follow their example.
What can you do about it? Make sure to be open, when your husband wants to have his friends over. If you get married couples coming over to hang out and have fun at your house, you keep him safe.
Sometimes men cheat simply because they can. They have women around them, who do not mind. What can you do about this? Well, try to stay away from having flirting female friends. Guess what? Many men find available women among their wives’ friends. So, choose wisely who you invite over to your house or introduce to your husband.
Past an affect the present and the future. It’s true about sexual relationships. How a man has started his sexual life is very important. It can in fact determine whether he would cheat on his wife or not. If a guy used to have dozens of partners, he would likely keep on doing that even after getting married. It is a pattern set in one’s life and it is one that is very hard to break down.
If you are wedded to such a guy, you should delicately find out about his past and his first sexual practice. This is the case when the only remedy is for him to realize the roots of the problem. Dealing with the past is not easy. It can hurt. This is the major reason why Bible does not allow people to have sex before marriage. Sex is not just fun. Sex is about two people becoming one flesh. It glues people together. Now, if a man used to have many sexual contacts, he’s got into a cheating pattern and he needs help.
- Boost of self-esteem
Men need to be winners. They love respect. They love to conquer. If you man has low self-esteem, he could be exploiting sex to boost it. I can do it. Women love me. They want me. I’m cool. Such behavior or mentality can be caused by immaturity. An immature man does not recognize the worth of loyalty and commitment. They pick the easy path. It makes them feel good. Growing up is the best remedy here.
Why would a man want to take a revenge on his woman? Reason number one is humiliation. Men love respect, you already know that. Lack of respect may deeply hurt your man. If he is immature, he would try to hurt you back. So, make sure not to tramp down his ego.
It’s a sure way to avoid such cheating revenges on his side. And, of course, revenge hurts the one inflicting it the most. Cheaters hurt, too. Loving and respecting your man you can save them lots of trouble.
- For a change
Some men cheat for a change. They just feel like they want some fresh experiences. One thing you can do here is to keep that freshness in your marital sexual relations.
Go online and learn about some things you could do with your husband to surprise and please him. Time to time offer him to try something new. See, in many cases Nigerian men get new female bodies, but they do everything in exactly the same old fashion. There is nothing fresh about that.
What to do, when a man cheats?
Now you know some of the motives why do married men cheat. What if you are dealing with one of such situation? What do you do to stop it? First of all, decide if the relations with the man is your main life priority
The first and natural reaction is to scream and show your anger and emotions. Just stop for a while and think about it. There is another woman out there. She is nice and loving to him. She gives him what he wants. Now, he goes back home and find his wife in hysterics, screaming, demanding. How would he react? Naturally such behavior on your side would only further push him away from you.
Yes, there is no excuse for cheating and Bible clearly tells us so. However, the Bible does not command us to break down relations with a cheater, but rather to try and fix it. It’s a good time to screen your life and see where you what you may have done wrong. Why did he get attracted to that woman? What you may be missing out? No one is perfect. So, start by fixing your problems and see what impact it causes on your man.
READ ALSO: Who to marry – 5 best tips for Nigerians.
Getting improved never hurts anybody. Make him regret his actions by seeing what he may lose, if he loses you. This approach would build you up regardless of whether he stops cheating and comes back to you or not. So, first find out why do men cheat, and then pick the right strategy of confronting the situation. By all means do not let it destroy your or tear you down. Make it work for your good instead.