Written by : Emmarex Okhakhu
"Are you married? If not, why not?" -The Rules-
"Not getting married remains yet another non-offensive, non-act that women have to spend their whole lives justifying." -Victoria Dutchman-Smith-
Though my critical theological mindset sometimes criticizes and tend to jigsaw around the seeming fundamentalism that characterizes Femi Awodele's intellectual and oftentimes meaningful didactics on the Christian life, I also tend to respect his efforts at publishing these series, especially the ones he titles Home Improvement Series. However, my reflection on these series and the rational question of why we get married refuses to be abated by whatever I read, watch on television, or experience in the clinical marriage therapy world. The point is not to adjudge or argue the biblical principles on marriage but to sincerely ask the rational question:
Why do we get married?
Tyler Perry has theatrically brought this comical and singular question almost to our doorsteps via television, making each viewer truly question the rationale for marriage, particularly if such a person is unhappy with their choice of a spouse. However, this digest goes deeper than Perry's moviedom to examine the true motivations that push us to believe that life is worthless without marriage. Several sub-questions then arise:
1) Are human beings naturally engineered to be married?
2)Are married couples truly happier than unwed but committed couples?
3) Is the adult truly unfilled without marriage?
4) Doesn't official marriage seem to cause more chaos than anyone needs?
5)Why bother getting married?
6)Is it not better to have everything but the rings?
Comically, we are a generation of legal contracts: work contracts, internet contracts, cable contracts, cell phone contracts; and when these contracts are about to expire we shop for better deals. Marriage is also a contract, though we would add, a lifelong contract riffed with arguments, stress, fights, misunderstandings, deceits, unforgiveness, accusations, mood swings, heart-breaks, and betrayal amidst momentary satisfaction and happiness. It is becoming clearer that marriage bears a less relationship to having children. By 2026, The Australian Bureau of Statistics project that couples without children will be the commonest type of family in Australia, a 44% of all families. In the same token, married couples are not really happier than the unwed committed. Though marriage is meant to be forever, people can already live together without being married, so why is it necessary? What rational reasons push us to marriage? Why do we get married?