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Why Do We Marry?

Why do we marry?

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The man of God have spoke.

So if the word of God says, we dont have to marry, how many will divorce?

The thread holding marriages is so think that cant even be noticed.

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Hahahahahahaha.

I have noticed that most of the writers are not even married, some are having affairs, some are in jail as we speak for beating the wives, so how can those teach you how to have a good home.

You make me laff in pakistan

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It is true we don't get taught in a skool some of the more important things in life. We should however make use of opportunities available to us to learn. There are books articles videos and seminars on the subject of marriage. Taking advantage of these resources would be of great benefit don't u tink?

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For many African parents, getting married is a must.They want their child(ren) to go to school, graduate, get married and start a family. In many Africa traditions, if you are not married off by a certain age then you are Not consider successful.

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That is all true, but i think they need to train us against some things we dont expect.

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I disagree with the bold.What happens to marriages without children? Or couples who do not wish to have children?

The main essence of Marriages is companionship, follow by sexual satisfaction. Child bearing is the 3rd and the least of the 3. Most religions agree to this, especially Christianity.

But what this thread is asking is 'cant we achieve all these without getting married?'

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Marriage is a sacred relationship between a man and a woman ordained by God for companionship on one hand and, the procreation and training of children as antidevils on the other. 

     The primary reason and purpose why we should marry is to raise children who would be empowered to embark upon a project or course that will be of benefit to humanity thereby serving God through selfless services to humanity.

     Many marry for wrong motives who pay darely for it shortly after.  A few examples of the numerous wrong reasons why we marry are: Pride of being the spouse of a particular celebrity, Rejection by parents thereby seeing marriage as an escape route from parental domination, non-controlled passion for sex, lust for beauty and lust for wealth among others.

     So, why must you marry?  Marry because you want to fulfill a divine order to raise children who would fight injustice and corruption that have eaten deep into the fabric of the society.  Before I forget, in case you are a Nigerian, please marry to raise at least one child who will solve electricity problem in Nigeria!

     Thanks. Compliment of the seasson.

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Fhemmmy am on your side too

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I am on the good side.

I am on the side that refuse to do something all cos most people are doing it, i am on the side that ask, why.

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Na wa oh, so, many people are married and yet not even sure of why they are married

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Ofcourse, i will look after her and keep her safe and make sure she is happy, however, are those enough reason to wanna marry me?

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@Fhemmmy:

I feel u cos at some point in my life I also despaired about the whole marriage tin. I in fact experimented a lil bit wit having a partner wit whom I shared all but surnames with but I discovered that without the legal frame work of marriage it became easy to find excuses not to work things out.

Now am not saying marriage is a guarantee for staying together and working things out but when u realise u have a legal obligation towards someone it provides some measure of motivation.

This taken together with the other reasons folks here have stated for wanting to get married should provide a balanced view on marriage. But take this as a caveat: it's what we choose to work at, that works out.

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Beautiful, about the best I have read.

Unfortunately we are not living in an ideal world.

But can you pls explain what you mean by 'for security'

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If it would not make the other party happy, the other party should not marry me.

No be by force.

I'm not marrying to make me happy. That's slightly inaccurate.

I don't expect marriage to be a harbinger of happiness, but I would be happy to marry. Finding peace and happiness within the marriage is an added bonus that I expect.

I know it's not a bed of roses.

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So u are marrying for satisfaction and to make u happy, how do u know it is making the other party happy ?

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They are plenty in there.  Ya just gotta look harder.

I would be perfectly satisfied with marrying for struture and permanent unity with the love of my life in the eyes of God.

The idea of marriage in and of itself is absolutely romantic and sweet.

There's an assortment of reasons of why I would want to get married.

It's a desire in my soul that must be fulfilled

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Unfortunately, i am not too good in reading Yoruba.

But a man can fulfill responsibilities and still make himself happy.

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Thatz fulfilling a responsibility and an obligation.

But I get whatchu trynna say.

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Do u noticed that with all your reasons, nothing is about you . . . .it is all about people and society and customs, so where do u fit in?

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Hmm good question

Societal ritual?  Religious expectation? Familial and/or peer pressure?  Need for companionship?

For structure and family? Satisfy sexual needs? To feel a deeper sense of commitment to one's love for a spouse?

To bear children within normal customs?  For benefits?

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I am sure it happens in real life oh.

For example a man gave a woman belle and married the woman cos of the baby, even thought he knows he does not love the woman, what would u say to that?

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You mean you have never heard someone saying, i married him cos i feel bad for him?

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True love gives independent of what it gets. Those claiming they are marrying for love should be doing it in other to make their mates happy.

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Femi, do ppl actually marry to make the other mate happy?

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In Ur poll, "Other" should be an option. I don't agree with any of those points, especially the 1st one. One can be single and still be happy.

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Fhemmmy, are you ever going to tell us the answer to your question? You've even managed to open old wounds that's enough,

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I will take it that, you accept marriage, because of your religion and traditional believes. That is good enough but some peep dont give a damm about religion and traditional believes you know.

I agree with your good choice concept, but so many people never know/believe they were making wrong choices until they got married, then it become difficult/late to reconsider thier choices. Again if they only remain lovers and later realise they are not meant for each other, they simply move on thier separate ways without any divorce complications

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The debate has been that, all these needs can be met by 2 lovers without getting married. Why must we say 'I do' when we can achieve all these without getting married and possibly prevent future pains.

That was why I said, holistic completeness is in marrying. Something is wrong with meeting some of these needs outside marriage. Religious beliefs apart, even traditions understand that there is something wrong about those who believe in doing things ordained within marriage outside marriage. Having a life partner is never a pain, pains come from wrong choices. This is true of every other thing apart from marriage. Wrong choice is the mother of pain. A good marriage choice is one of the most wonderful things that can happen to any body.

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The debate has been that, all these needs can be met by 2 lovers without getting married. Why must we say 'I do' when we can achieve all these without getting married and possibly prevent future pains.

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The reasons for marriage is simply to meet or satisfy needs. These needs may be physical, physiological, emotional, spiritual, economical, pressure-wise, societal, you can name them. Marrying is one way to live complete holistically except if one has other reason(s) not to marry.

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more than good reasons have been given, so what other magic reason is there?

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wat other reason do i need before i say "I DO"

Run errand?? do i look like his maid

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Why do u think we marry?

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Reality is until you get married to someone, you are always second. Second to themselves, second to their family, second to their friends, second to even their dog.

Everyone deserves to be first and if by misfortune you fall in love with a mummy's boy, or a friend adulator, nothing stops you from tieing him up in marriage to retain the first position. Then you can make him pay for all those years you spent being the less important.

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He had better not try that nonsense with me or else. . .

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if u are marrying for such reason, then, what wld u do, after wedding, he turns out to have the power in his hands?

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U dont give a damn and yet you might marry all cos it is a norm or cos u see it as a phase cos that is what society wanted from you and you saying you dont give a damn?

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In Nigeria maturity is accepting that the system is right. Or aren't we talking about Naija any longer?

This is not my opinion, I am just being objective. I really don't give a damn!

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When i use the word mature, i am not talking about a man that fell on a sheep and all of a sudden found some hair on his chin, i am talking of someoone that know what he wants and will put his feet down, a man or woman that is not afraid to say his mind and damn the consequence . . . not some boyz that mama will say something and they start shaking.

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I have seen matured people bowing down to the system.

It's not about maturity, but about being courageous.

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Even if the flow doesnt make any sense?

I love that response.

That is part of being matured, to be able to make decisions and stand by it.

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Even when i don't like or feel comfortable with the flow?

I think we follow the flow most of the time cos we are not sure of what we really want.

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Life is not always about choices. At a point we must follow the flow.

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Think it is for us to determine and not for them to choose for us or do it to please them. Its about us not about them.

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We could but sometimes we things are easier by conforming to social norms. No one stops us from living according to our rules, but can we face the challenges?

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But Honestly, must we go through marriage institution? must we necessarily pass through this particular reform? Why cant we just live happily without signing any legal paper?

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