Why do women hate each other? Where did such horror stories about female jealousy and rivalry come from? Is it really true? Let us have a closer look at this complicated issue.
Women hate themselves and hate other women. Can you imagine that the men's magazine published an article on “How to love yourself”? It is really funny, is not it? But only girls are taught from childhood to be ashamed of themselves and their bodies.
Where did such horror stories about female jealousy and rivalry come from? Why do not women dress for men but for women? Why is it a guarantee of a spoiled evening, if one finds himself in the company of dazzling beauties? There is an interesting episode in Katherine Mansfield`s short story A Cup of Tea.
Once a rich girl Rosemary met on the street and sheltered poor Miss Smith. Rosemary's husband was not pleased with this act of his wife. When all his entreaties had no effect, he told the following phrase that immediately killed any charity. He said, “Honey, do not you think that Miss Smith is amazingly beautiful ..?” In less than half an hour, Rosemary quickly got rid of Miss Smith.
Envy is a common occurrence among women. The renowned feminist Germaine Greer agrees with the following statement: “Women's jealousy is a natural reaction to their collective experience. Generations of women took care of the rest, forgetting about their own lives. As a result they suffer from emotional hunger. Thus, it is very difficult for them to see those women who are lucky enough not to be left out of attention. Hence the desire to criticize, deride and slander.”
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Only a woman can humiliate another woman. Women are merciless with women. Women support and broadcast the same stereotypes about themselves, and this is called the internalized misogyny. Being inside the sexist discourse, women are forced to start hoping for a “dividend” from the men.
When it comes to discuss the right whether to shave legs or not, woman always rebel. Why is this happening? It usually happens because the internalized misogyny causes rigid hierarchy within the female environment. A woman must meet certain reproductive, age, physiological and other requirements.
All variety of characters, personalities, desires and possibilities is reduced to a certain pattern of “normal woman” with rigidly prescribed requirements. In turn, women still compete with each other for the right to be the best, instead of understanding that there cannot be a single true model.
Beauty issue is particularly acute. Author of many books for women, psychologist Marisa Peer, concluded that women assess each other mainly on the external data rather than on professional successes (men - on the contrary).
That is why it is very difficult to be a woman. Israeli sociologists noticed that it is much harder for beauties to get a job, even though they have several higher education diplomas and a perfect professional reputation. The experiment was carried out on five thousand Israeli women who were looking for a job. Each woman sent her resume in three versions:
- The first resume: with a photo very beautiful girl;
- The second resume: with a photo of unattractive girl;
- The third resume: with no photo.
Resumes without a photo received most of job offers. Resumes with photos of unattractive girl took the second place. But no employer called a beautiful woman. Psychologists from HR departments explained their behavior in a very simple way. When a woman adds a photo to her resume, it seems that she wants to play on her appearance. If a man does the same, he, on the contrary, emphasizes self-confidence, and, thus, gains points.
In Chicago a woman was fired from her bank job. The motive for the dismissal was just screaming: “Your rounded shapes distract employees from their duties.”
At the same time no one doubted her suitability.
Times have changed, but relations have remained the same
Those women who refer to themselves as a product (delicate, expensive and perishable, but – a product), usually tend to see competitors in the rest of the women. And how to treat competitors? They must be fought. There cannot be any friends in the struggle for “the best man”. After all, the main task is to win at any cost. The well-being and self-esteem of women depends only on the outcome of such a struggle.
What to do?
You can start by learning to understand the following: intelligence, stupidity, professionalism, strength or weakness – are qualities inherent to all humans. But not exclusively to men or women only. On the other hand, if there was no female hostility to each other, how many great films and books we would have missed! Therefore, women hatred is much more interesting and action-packed than the love stories between women and men.
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