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Why Does NYSC 'Kill' Relationships?

What exactly is it about the NYSC scheme that kills relationships?

I've had many friends and other none- friends who have lost their otherwise perfect relationships because they or their partners went to "serve" Nigeria for one year.

I always thought twas an original commitment problem until my own fiancee, not girlfriend now o, fiancee, walked out of our relationship because of another guy she met during the service year. And I could have laid down my life to defend her commitment to the relationship.

My hurt apart, i'm just trying to reseach what are the reasons that this happens so often!

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129 answers

stories like this makes me shiver...

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Am actually scared, my bf is leaving for service soon I don't knw what to expect when he gets back

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wow this is the best reply.

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Wish I had read this before because my gf year is about to finish and some things have come to my attention. All women/men are the same doesn't matter how much they try and convince you otherwise.

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Its not only girls that NYSC derail na. what about the guys that dump their pre nysc babes after they serve? I served and did not sleep with any man not even my husband (then my boy friend) for one year cos I did not go visit him through my service year.

I know guys that met their wives through nysc, dont you know that those wives are the lost girl friends of these complaining guys?? osondi owendi.

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If NYSC does not break your relationship trust me nothing else will! Nna temptation too much! I have two uncles who met their wives their i am sure their wives had boyfriends and they also had girlfriend before going to camp

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And that is exactly the same advice i keep telling guys

NYSC is a serious test to a relationship, Too bad most ladies cant pass just a year without opening their legs!!

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This thread shows how naive and dumb it is to believe in "love", "trust" and "security" when it comes to relationships/marriages. I went through the school system/NYSC and i know all the crap i witnessed. If not for self discipline and morals, i could have slept with at least 2 married women if i wanted. And these were women whose husbands where back at home believing they had "good wives". How about the ladies in serious relationships? I slept with one that was already engaged and due to be married in a few months after the NYSC program. The guy would call her while we were cuddled up together and if an average man sees how she purrs and talks so lovingly on the phone, he will vow never to commit to any woman or get married ever. They would be talking excitedly on the phone about the approaching married life. I felt so sorry for the guy.

This is why i keep telling guys to go into relationships/marriage with their eyes open. Don't believe the feministic hype of "trust" and "security". That is what women use in blindfolding men. If there was anything like "trust" and "security", then why do people get married? Why not live together as a couple, raise children and take it from there? Why do you need to sign a legal binding contract at the registry called marriage certificate and call invite guests to a wedding to act as "witnesses" if marriage is based on "trust"?

When will people start thinking outside the box?

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chei!!! I don enter am ooo, she's leaving next month,,,,,,,

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am stil countin d number if pple i know dat lost dere relatnshps to dis 'youth service', both male and female,,,,,,,,stil countin

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NYSC = now your suffering continues

with N10K per month

women have to offer punny to survive

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Nysc is a relationship killer, and u actually get to know nd understand women more during that time. You get a show of shame by some so-called married women who get boned with ease.

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why does every thread get derailed by same set of people?

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"http://www.youtube.com/embed/6nr8hPnZfMU"

Upgrade 190

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190, i dont like flaunting myself but let me inform u, if u had gain admission when i graduated from schl, by now u wud be wrintg ur project. get it u little boy!!

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is just like a small market in camp where you can buy wat ever things u may need.

Done with service.

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This is very true. Some were caught fornicating late night in the mami market and the bush side. some even slept with those nysc officials and the army men who promised to post them to better PPA, unfortunately, most of them were disappointed at their posting after much promises.

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sorry, eh, poo happens if it not met to be, it not met to be, life is too short to live. sorry to say the lady does care or will i say does see you as a potential candidate cos she willingly spent time with the other guy knowing full that you were at the other side so when the new one clicked, she pushed you out in the cold.

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true word i know how many women offered me punny last year in abuja just cos i knew the top people, wat nigerians gurls do during nysc is terrible, even durin the 3weeks camp they start fornicating, they sleep with demselves even in d bushes and abuja aristos troop in for women, may god help us young men from the hands of this women

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Yes it does. I can say it that 95% of relationship crumble after that one year scheme. If u don't believe this, go and make ur research. Even those relationship that did not scatter were not spared of "batching"

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uhmmm, this thread is so timely.

Much as one may want to dislodge this claim, It seems true.

I am currently facing this same issue. My woman to whom I am engaged is serving at the moment and I can tell that to the extent you want to trust your partner she is facing a challenging time from prowling guys all over the place.

She's is a God fearing lady. She is also an attractive woman, no doubt. One cannot wish away the fact that men will be men-chasing after even married women.

My mindset is if after all the tempatation, the distance and all, if your woman still make it home to you, than you have a real deal. Anything contrary is not even worth it in the first palce.

So, if you say NYSC is a form of putting the commitment to test, under the rain and in the sun, you are not wrong

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Didn't know what to say. To me and from personal experience, NYSC was/is a poo and hd made a decision not to settle down or engage in any serious relationship with any lady that has not done with the scheme. During my time, the so called " holy sister" that do criticize me and my friend got screwed by one of my friends and the funny thing was that she was the " NCCF MAMA' in my local govt. My friend later dumped her for another lady (her friend). What a pathetic story.

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yea it does i witnessed it last year

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it is part of the oreinntation programme

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@boy1--smart talk. . .those who survived it have clearly defined or know what "fidelity"is b4 they have even decided 2 marry each other.

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"whether a girl sleep with one or ten guys during her service year doesnot make her a bad girl or unfit 4 marriage."according to bjcole. . .

Abeg bjcole,go think your life over and over again. . .

@topic--most of d so-called Good Girls are not really Good. . .They have not been tempted "sufficiently."

This's a scenario where faithfulness,honesty and patience is tested. . .and they(women) will only come back to u if their new lovers rejects them or r not better than u. . .

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I guess a larger percentage of ladies misbehave during this period, reasons not far from those mentioned earlier, so if you date a girl that like partying or catching fun every now and then, or may be the one that drinks excessively, then you cant help it man, just take ur mind off it, she will catch her fun, shag as many guys as possible, and still come back to you, just rest ur mind or you go for an S.U girl, but realistically, that period is too little to judge ladies, they just behave according to the environment, they find themselves, whether a girl shag one or ten guys during her service year does not make her a bad girl or unfit for marriage.

It is hard to take, but it is the truth, whether ladies are in a serious relationship or married, a larger percentage of them tend to misbehave during service year ( i guess they are too emotional, so when they are too close to the opposite sex 4 too long, they tend 2 show affection, i have heard of ladies getting wet and ready for sex after just few emotional talks, how much more those long idle period in the cold).

For me o. she must be thru with her service, cos cant stand those shits of NYSC period.

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I quite agree with the poster but to every rule there is an exception. I neva dated anybody during my service year, I won't say the temptation was not there. It was but I made sure I tell my fiance every man coming my way. That was how I overcame it. I was posted to a village school, we were 2 girls 2 boys. my flatmate had already had a boyfriend from camp so she virtually goes to the guys house on thur n comes back on mon morning. "Loneliness wan kill me", especially when one of the guys won't let me be. Always coming to my room, I had to devise a means by always locking my door when it is night n pretend to be sleeping.

When he did not give up I packed my things to town to stay with my town girl I met in the camp, I usually took bike to teach everyday except my CD days. When I look back, I am grateful to God I didn't mess up. My fiance and I are still together.

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But I think, not all the good girls would turn to bad ones when they gets to NYSC innit?.

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NYSC reflects the true mentality of the people. We have those whose sole aim is to enter NYSC and have intimacy. Simple!!

Some guys and girls look at it as a way to get free. There are some who stay faithful and there are some whom ,

To me it is an acid test for a relationship - if the guy or girl can go through it and nothing happens - then ,

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my own dat was so good went to camp for 3 wks and never came back. she even get d boldness to call me to say she'll come back after 1 yr. she didnt even come home for xmas!

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I can't wait 2 go 4 my NYSC o.

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@Post

What will be will be.Things like these are the norm in NYSC camps.I can also understand why most fingers are pointing towards the females. . .the main reason is because at that stage in their lives, majority of them are either in serious relationships,engaged or married.There are only a handful of uncommitted females in NYSC camp.The guys on the other hand still have their "lives ahead of them".

How ladies throw caution to the wind during this period baffles me.You'll see a lady who's married and probably has a kid. . .riding a younger man's rooster all in the name of "freedom".You'll see a lady who has a hardworking guy somewhere getting involved with multiple partners.This is why a lot of guys CAN'T trust a woman for anything.They are totally unpredictable and as someone rightfully said. . .a person's character is defined when nobody is watching!

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I have read comment posted by several people but this is my own candid opinion.

For an ex corper that served in the core north(State not stated for obvous reasons)i realised that just as there are these realisation of relationships broken by NYSC there are some corpers that were very faithful to there spouse during NYSC.These corpers are just a fraction of the percentage of the other corpers who saw NYSC as the Opportunity to frolick and enjoy their Devil given opportunities.Even the so called Born again corpers werenot left out of these altrocities.Imagine a Music Director in NCCF,a  prominent Christain and those that kabush are not left out of the evil of fornication.

Mine was the case of someone smartin from betrayal from prevoius relationship to face the Devil in NYSC.I was the youngest in a Girls college with a ratio of 4 hot gals to a boy even in the coldest of weather. There was this particular gal that almost killed me.her boyfriend will come a long way to see her but assoon as he is on the next bus home she is already in bed.Several times i pleaded toend this evil deeds but since she cooks for me and refusal means i will have to feed on provisions i had to play ball.

I finally concluded that 99% of corpers return a changed person.Apart form this gal,there are times another gal in the same school will close her door on me wit threat that if i dont do her biddings then she will call the fiance of the other gal.What about the seduction of the yarinyas (Matured SS3 gals).

All in all this does not mean am weak but let God allows no man temptation than to deliver man from it.Constant perssuation and the likes of it can make a man do nasty things.To escape this temptation you either state your religion either as alhaja/Teblic or strict born again wit no time so socialise.Please let no man criticise me cos you were not in the same ship wit me.For those that maintained their rekationship i give kudos to you as i saw wit my Unclad eyes married ladycorpers who removed their rings right before my eyes when thay got to their PPA. To each one their own,

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I guess NYSC brings out the beast in peeps!!!

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@poster,guy u r saying d truth.Right nw we r on our endurance trek grooving.U need to see d way d so called married n engaged ladies removed their rings rocking.Dis only is just d begining

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1) They have ojukokoro 2) They don't have itelorun 3) They had probably been waiting for Olorunsogo allthe while they were with you.

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@Poster,the answer to ur question is that no man or any woman is particularly meant for anyman or any woman.If she doesn't leave now,,U would probably be the one to leave her.

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u said it all dude, congrats!

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I left Lagos to Rivers state where i did my youth service with all the wonderful stories of the camp, but with one other mission not to fall. to God be the glory i spent the three weeks with a relax mind and got close to God on camp. In a nut shell i came back to marry my Girl of 5years and today as i am talking we have a bouncing baby boy. the life on camp and during you primary assingment depends on your own PERSONAL DECISION. NOT NYSC

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when u spend a year holed up with someone

else, away from your loved ones, and friends

anything can happen. the distance is bad enuf

then she/he gets to be fond of a particular person

infact there are so many other negative things that

the NYSC scheme causes, and i think its high time the

scheme is scrapped totally, as its causing alot of loss

and heart break/aches.

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May be NYSC does not kill relationship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I got my second half during my service. U wont believe she was a virgin when I met her may be @ poster u let her leave for NYSC as a virgin. So for those of u that av virgin girls goin for NYSC now is the time to act or may lose her 4 eva.Be wiseact now or 4eva hold ur peace

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Aja ti yio sonu, ko ni gbo fere olode!

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Lucky for all those girls say I no dey Naija to do NYSC . . . . . . . . .

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pressure reveals who u really are and why one is counting his gain another calls it his heartbreak, well i might just not be in a relationship before NYSC but i am, God keep us all from falling.

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