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Why is Love so Painful at Times?

I keep asking myself why is it that anytime I fall in love, I feel pain or I'm always hurt. Or does it only happen to me alone? Do love and pain go together?

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U are absolutely right Pinky, men do get hurts but they try to move on,

As for the girls, its difficult for them

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o ti wa lati a tete ko se.o shi ma wa titi lai.Is meant to b

LOVE IS PAIN,PAIN IS LOVE

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Yes it is true you feel a raw pain as if your heart has been physically wrenched from your chest, but don't lose hope, it is only an acute pain which does not last for long, as long as you don't allow yourself to wallow in it.

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na wah for this love thing!

Who we wan blame?

Please Love, have mercy upon thy innocent children.

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This is so totally true. I have been there before. I battled with the pain for so long until I finally snapped out of it.

Love is a gamble and is risky!

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Sweetie some guys are just so mean and heartless,can u imagine if the girl doesnt give her all in the relationship they will ask questions like Does she love me,or what is love or is money love u knw and all sort of questions the reason u hurt is becos u probably loved the guy and u are too emotionally into it but it is nt our fault tht we get too emotionally involved it is just becos we are who we are and did you tht d women are more stronger than the men?It is becos we are very emotional/sweet and very sensitive in nature tht is why with most women the guys dont notice.

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love like truth and other pills can be bitter and painfull

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Look angel2k,

Sorry about your pain in love. I'll tell you what to do. Simple. Next time you meet a man, harden your heart. Do not love him with your heart. Strictly use your head. Avoid emotional ties with any of them. If you meet someone, good. Make him know that you will not be emotionally available to him. Some men, infact a lot of men do not like the lovey-dovey stuff. Learn to be as hardened as they are. If you meet one that is insensitive, learn that insensitivity from him. Give him a dose of his own medicine and lastly, and most importantly, never rely on a man for anything, you hear me? Anything. Be emotionally independent, financially independent (look for a job if you don't have, or put up a business). Just learn to stand up on your own two feet. When you are independent, love takes a maturer form, and dependence ain't it. When you are not tied down emotionally to a man, one, he tends to respect you, and two, it's easier for you to walk out on a relationship with minimum pain. A relationship is like an institution, and just like school, you are to be in it to learn and reap the benefits. Just avoid the emotions. I don't know how old you are, but as you grow older you realize that love is a decision, not an emotion. So, make wise decisions.

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Hmmm!!!!

Seun, I will start with your points.

You have just stated the conventional beliefs and thoughts about women and love.

Please lets all get this thing straight. Men as well as women suffer hurt in love. With the increasing trend of materialism in women, their focus is now moved from loving the man to loving what the man can offer.

Depending on what city you live in, there are girls that have not time for love. If you care to love them then you care to get hurt.

I have had a woman break my heart and on the average, all the women I have met except one did not love me for whom I am but for what I am.

Indeed, Love hurts cos I have been there.

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Love is painful, when it is handled incorrectly, when you surrender your heart and put into 110% into something to see it fall apart, it's always painful to let it go.

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its so painfull,because when ever u been in luv u will not want any disapointment.in case these occure you will be disapointed.indeed love must be so painful.[color=#770077][/color]

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never give in ur all, always have something to hold back so that when u fall you can stand up immedately,

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WELL A LOT OF MEN STILL DON'T BELIEVE THAT MANY MEN HAVE BEEN USED AND DUMPED

TOO LIKE MOST MEN THINK THEY ARE FAST,

BUT TO MOST MEN THEY DON'T LOOK AT IT THAT WAY, THEY JUST CONCLUDE IN THEIR SELFISH

MIND THAT AFTER ALL I HAVE FUN TOO, BUT DEEP INSIDE THEM THEY KNOW THAT THEY HAVE

BEEN DUMP,

WELL AM ONCE A VICTIM AND I STILL BELIEVE THERE ARE A LOT OUT THERE TOO,

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the truth is that a lot of us don't understand what is love and how to go toward it,

with my little experience i will say that sometimes we broke our heart ourself and put the

blame on the other person, the problem with most girls is that some times they know what

they want from a guy, but they play the game in a wrong way, for instance

a guy walk up to you and say i love u, is not a new thing is normal, but have u ask him

WHY DO U THINK U LOVE

WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT U LOVE

WHAT DO U REALLY WANT FROM ME

But they want to know where u work, the kind of car u drive and so on

I think is time the girls, ladies or what ever know what they really want from

a man and not just material things alone,

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love is not a painful game is both parties can be careful and dont let the so call love cover your head to the extend of doing what is wrong, be wise and dont fall cheap.

Do you know something, in a relationship whereby a lady cautions herself, she behaves well, doesn't fall cheap, and all those sort of things, the guy will respect her alot and would not pray to lose her for a second.

all this can make a relationship last long and with this no heartbreak will occur

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have you ever asked yourself why a lady has to go through a lot of pains before delivering a baby?NOTHING GOOD COMES EASY BABY,even God,sacrificised his only son to save you and me.NOTHING GOOD COMES EASY.

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@ sweetivy

yea u are right, we ladies got to be careful, most guys take us for granted, but the most funiest thing is that love is blind, u vow not to fall in Love today, some day u will surely do, Love can be silly @ times not only painful.

do u one thing i observe about Love, its so selfish and cruel.

Men are deperate, they are always eager to get what they want, immedaitely they ve that, they dump u like a piece of cake, what makes me laugh my ribs off is the way they tell u they are no more interested.

may God save we Ladies.

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[wetin dey sweet dey pain also], girlfriend we put our heart into this thing called love at the end of the day we get to receive very little or nothing at all, my advice to sisters in the house is that , we should be careful of wolf in sheep clothing, some guys can be very deceptive with their sugar wraps. They sweet talk you and behave as if without you they cant live, but then one bad experience doesnt mean that love is only painful im sure when we meet the right one,love will be sweet. But, be careful in the search, dont fully give in till you are sure. Good luck to sisters in the house.

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I agreed Love is all about given out without expect a return, and it invloved a lot of sacrifice to proved yourself to the person that you love him or her. You must know that Love has the good and bad side, but it all depend on how you handle it,,,,

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@ topic

If u ve ever falling in love and u havent been so hurt, u not in Love, Love is painful u got to endure, eg u love some one and the person never love u in return. there are somebarrier between the outside world and the emotions is almost non-existent. The pain expressed in some nodes hits the heart of the love one.

Wen u lost the person u love dearly, dont u think its hurt.

I think Love really hurts

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Well, as for me, reverse is the case, i love my girl so much but she said she wanna quit which she already did. Believe me, i couldnt eat any strong food for a good two weeks infact i'm still in the pain now. This never happened to me before but the love i have for her is way too much and i eventually blame myself for that cos she claim to be scared of my love(that i love her too much). So, is it a crime again to love my girl that much?

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I wish all girls were like me.Don't ever give your heart away,thats the bottomline.

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well love has many definitions it takes different people in different ways

a man's love story is different from another man's

somtimes i think love doesnt exist but it does

anyway love is always painful if it doesnt suit your purpose

but if it does ohhhhhhhhhh my God

itz so sweeeeeeeeeeeeeet

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love is just an emotional feeling which is the same in men and gals; but the way we handle it is the diff. I always keep my head above the waters in r/ship. It prevents alot of heartaches

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What I have to say is that love is sweet and bitter at thesame time. When you don't make the right choices of who you love, you end up in so much pains, although I will not dispute the fact that good relationships still have pains sometimes.

I think we all are matured enough to make the right choices and not give in to any 'jerk' according to shockreaction.

Guys also feel the pains of love, everyone does, except the love isn't there in the first place. Anyway, this advise goes to both girls and guys, "BE CAREFUL" watch out, look before you leap. Spend alot of time with a guy/girl, know the kind of person he/she is before going into anything serious with him/her. so that at the end, you don't blame anyone! ciao

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h'ey make you no fun me say witting i no want say

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lol tayo-t abeg dont needle her

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Most guys are insensitive jerks... I'd highly recommend that you shouldn't fall in love with anyone, for any reason whatsoever until you've discovered what kind of person s/he is, and you've spent a lot of time together. Of course, some people blindly fall in love, which I consider risky. The thing is, you have to be logical and realistic, not foolish.

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love4ever could you please explain further cos I just don't understand.

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so are u saying you can chose when to sacrifice in love and when not to? sounds pretty selective to me

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hey i mearn to say that love is not painful if you do not want it to be for you they it will not be

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besides the original post said why is love so painful at times not all the time even the greatest love of all has always involved pain

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Love is not painful, it only depends on individual.

Love is sweet

Love is divine.

The greatest is love.

Joloaso.

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abeg it is, it involves a lot of sacrifice and submission sometimes more than you can bear

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I keep telling ya'all love is a big state of confusion so please tell me why it won't hurt.

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It's painful at times because love is about sacrifice and that can be harsh to deal with!

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bercause you love someone and you do not want to live the person you have shared all you good tinme with that person that it

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The reason why love can be painful most times is when relationships get sore! It is so painful to know that females bear the brunt of the soreness most times, because we're the emotional type. But then, most females don't know when to let go!

When some females discover a relationship has hit the rocks, instead of them to move on, they keep hanging on (for old memories' sake) till the pain sets in!

But as for men, they usually let go before it's even time. So you mustn't think they dont get hurt, they just want to move on!

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I've been hurt before and i know how painful it can be... I just think men move on faster than women when the relation don blow up.

Some people see men moving on faster as a sign off emotional numbness but i think it's just someone being brave and facing up to life...

There is no point crying over split milk, carry on with your life i say.

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One thing you guys should understand is there's no formula for this love thing, a guy can be hurt just as easily as the girl, i've seen broken hearted guys and it's not a pleasant sight. You might say there are more girls that get broken hearts because guys go for girls so he knows when he just wants to playaround. A girl just has to be smart but not too smart o!

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I agree with you Sade, the looking before you leap thing is definitely the right thing to do. falling for strangers too quickly is not a good idea. Females take note.

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If you fall in love with a stranger then u are a gonna!

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I think, as a girl, you have to know the kind of man you want in your life; as in the qualities you want in a man. If a man does not meet at least 70% of what you want I see no reason why you should go ahead and fall in love. We girls have so many problems that we dont know we have. Guys aren't worth dying for.

If I'm in a relationship and I realise the guy is not my cup of tea I'll rather pull out safely before it's too late because most relationships are always one sided and girls are always at the loosing end. A guy can't meet me today and tell me he loves me tomorrow and I'll be crazy about him. You can only be secured when you love someone who is truly your friend but when you fall in love with a stranger then you are a going to.

I will advise that we girls should look before we leap. However, there's no way that pain can be rulled out in a relationship. We should cherish our heart and guide it jealously to avoid someone breaking it.

Men do get hurt at times, especially when a man actually loves a girl and she breaks his heart!

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Its true that men get hurt when they are in love (or sometimes when they just like a girl a lot) but the truth is that society is conditioned to believe that (1) women are more susceptible to getting hurt and falling in and out of love and (2) men are always the guilty party or the party doing the hurting.

I have personally got hurt in a relationship and I must say as a guy I have not gotten much sympathy if any at all.

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Though Dr. Love seems to understand what he is talking about, I cannot help but point out one very important fact. Knowing all these things about women, girls, ladies, the average guy claims ignorance.

The truth is that most ladies are known for very poor choices when it comes to guys, especially in the early stages of their dating lives. Its important a girl to know who you are and what you expect and to really try to get to know guys before you start going out with them.

Perhaps the ladies should make better choices in guys and guys should be more sympathetic (because they are always aware of these emotions and promote them for selfish needs).

Indeed all meaningful relationships are painful, but its all about degrees, love is painful, but can be great!

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I interviewed a friend of mine, an experienced ladies-man, to answer this question.

Question: Ok, so tell me, why is love so painful at times?

Answer: You see, emotions in relationships are normally experienced by ladies. They put so much trust and sometimes their whole life into the little thing.

Answer: Well, it's not their fault , because the guy you know would do what it takes to get her totally. I mean by crazy words and all that. Ladies read too much romantic novels and expect things that are in words to be actually practised, and this leads to dissapointment.

Question: So what should they do?

Answer: We just cant change the way a gender reacts towards things. A guy can walk away easily. But for a lady, it's another story.

Questions: So why do the ladies enter into these relationships?

Answer: Emotions, again. They are easily suseptible to, should I say, "scopings" (as you guys call it) A guy says 'I love you' on the first day and you take it like he has stood in front of what he believed in and sweared.

Question: So what we should do is teach them how to resist scopings?

Answer: Dr Love. Guys are manipulative. They can look innocent, they can look charming. And women are meant to melt. Besides, one thing that kills women is the money or beauty. It really kills them.

Question: So what are you final words for the Nairalanders?

Answer: Get a life! I mean, they are mature enough to know all this, especially those that have gone through different relationships.

Wow, Dr. Love says you ladies take relationships too seriously. What do you think?

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