«Home

Why Is The Infidelty Of A Woman More Difficult For The Guys?

Guys have been cheating and so many times forgiven, we have seen many prodigal fathers accepted back; but the same seem not to be the same with the women;

the men don't seem to get over the infidelity of a wife like the wife has? why is this?

Avatar
Newbie
214 answers

hello nairaland/romance/ readers, I have just written a FREE Report

on MEN AND WOMEN WHO WANTS TO HAVE A BETTER SEX LIFE,

its absolutely FREE for the first 200 readers of Nairaland Romance

and its available for the next 48hrs for FREE downloads,

If you are interested to have your FREE copy send "better sex life"

to charlesbrown4all@yahoo.com

Do you know that a better sex life can only keep your relationship

stronger and firm 80%?? Researches has shown !!

0
Avatar
Newbie

God create man first so guys are more smart htan girls therefore Infidelty Of A Woman is always More Difficult For The Guys? more tips www.datingblackladies.blogspot.com/

0
Avatar
Newbie

its simple logic. its the woman that is under, its the woman that some sperms are deposited into, its the woman that plays hard to get( saying shes an angel), its the woman that gets touched all over(Bottom, bosoms, etc), its the woman that wants something in return in most cases, its the woman that gets bodily depreciation, its the woman that takes it from behind sometimes, its the woman that gives it orally most times and so many more reasons why she is 90% on the receiving end. THIS IS THE BITTER TRUTH. IN SEX, THE MAN IS THE SUBJECT, THE WOMAN IS THE OBJECT!

0
Avatar
Newbie

Getting sick of this post already , why would a lady cheat in the first place, its like wearinga suit without a shirt so absurd

0
Avatar
Newbie

because a man cant stand 2 share his konkolo with another man

0
Avatar
Newbie

sneeze sneeze, i ain't gat shyt to say!

0
Avatar
Newbie

cough cough I didnt say nothing

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Oyinda: I really didn't want to comment and I don't have the time to go through all the posts.So, I don't know if someone has corrected you but you seem to be mis-informed abut the Shari'ah. Please find out about a topic before yu put ina discussion next time. This post is not meant to be offensive just a correction. I hope you understand.

0
Avatar
Newbie

You wan jump with me? How work?

0
Avatar
Newbie

eldee,

i said u won. haba

dayo, go and jump into a lake with your hmmmms. it's getting very annoying.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ah, na wa for me sef. See the juicy topic I `m just coming in to meet.

Why Is The Infidelity Of A Woman More Difficult For The Guys?

The answer is simple- The Men have been doing their thing for as long as creation. They didnt think dat the women would ever have the guts to attempt such. I see it more as a case of using a greater thief to nail a thief. The women are beating the men to their game and ouch! it does hurt.

0
Avatar
Newbie

speechless!!!

*na true o! we guys dey play away match wella, but if our gf play away match we go giv dem sack letter instanter*

0
Avatar
Newbie

Your naivete is exemplary . . . you won't last a day in law . . . the fact that I don't buy the concept of sanctity of contract/marriage doesn't mean I shouldn't go into it.

It just means I will benefit by blindsiding the other party.

And yeah, losing is painful, ethical or otherwise . . . even if I believe that cheating is just being smart, I still don't like people being smarter than I am.

Nah, the key word is 'advantage' . . . to you it might be unethical, to the man who's dad was a polygamist, it's normal.

There's a reason why the cheated cries while the cheat just moves in with a new wife.

Advantage is not weakness, it's superiority.

0
Avatar
Newbie

^ what's confusing. d guy is telling u not to get caught while cheating.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Several buildings. 4 different buildings

0
Avatar
Newbie

They cant. one person out of over 500 cant trigger their suspicion

0
Avatar
Newbie

hahahhaha they will soon found out abt NL. and when they do, i will laugh at you.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Its banned . No one knows about NL that why I can come here.

Abeg come and explain what Efo riro is to Missy B and yme They dont understand Yoruba

0
Avatar
Newbie

but u can't check under d tree while at work hehn?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Multi tasking is the name of the game

Abeg come food section and help me explain what efo riro is in English to MissyB and yme, I wan cook for you this weekend

0
Avatar
Newbie

ok o. u dey work but your on NL?

@49cent,

true dat.

but u just sound like a philosopher

0
Avatar
Newbie

so when do u leave work?

0
Avatar
Newbie

I still dey work, After work maybe I would check under that tree

0
Avatar
Newbie

mind ur business lol. 49cent understands my yarns.

0
Avatar
Newbie

meaning the reason reaches the fundamental basis of our lives, it always calls for brutal sincerity even if one stands to "loose" one's life; its amazing how many demand fidelity, men and women, but cant give it, fidelity is the way to fulfillment of the abyss of our human hearts. thanks oyinda. i love your spirit

0
Avatar
Newbie

same reason some people reject the idea of God, smoke cocaine etc

all has to do with your belief which is determined mostly by how you were raised and ur environment.

these people are in the minority though. since most ppl are raised to conform.

0
Avatar
Newbie

very logical post

but why do people reject the idea of the sanctity of marriage?

0
Avatar
Newbie

if you don't buy the concept of sanctity of marriage, why would you object to your partner doing it?

if i believe that coning people is ethical, why should i be mad if someone else cons me?

unless u believe you are d exception to the rule of d universe or something (ie above all ). sounds like something from crime and punishment.

you say "unfair advantage" key word is "unfair" so therefore, you KNOW it's wrong. and it's unethical.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ pro 1

I get your points and your experiences are commonplace with a good number of guys out there; I would not encourage you to continue in the is state of distrusrt for women; the truth is that we live in an imperfect world where you cant get it all; most times it is our acceptance of the person, our unconditional love that will heal the errant partner, bottom line we must be prepared to love despite the imperfection that we see in others.

As for the sleeping-with of ladies who supposedly are in serious relationships, don't you think you are part of the problem? when last have told some girl like that to be faithful to their commitments, we really have ti be the change we wish to see around us,  because your "born again" ex cheated on you despite your faithfulness to what you had does not that you should increase the problem of infidelity in our society, people just need that one person to live the life they have lost or struggling to live

0
Avatar
Newbie

Akobaje this is a really insightful submission. It resonates powerfully with me 'cos I can relate 100% with it, especially the parts in bold. I believe I belong in the category of individuals you describe as possessing a 'vivid imagination' and as such can't see myself forgiving (never mind forgetting) a cheating partner. I've experienced this just once with the only person I ever loved - one that professed to be 'good' and 'born-again' - and it pretty much destroyed 'trust' and 'love' in my mind for ever. My 'vivid imagination' always sees through the deception and 'goody goody' pretence of most women and I fancy them for just flings and open relationships, NEVER anything serious, let alone marriage. It's strange how you mentioned the bolded parts 'cos they constitute part of my previous experience and my 'vivid imagination' has those ideas firmly etched on my mind. I also see, hear and experience things every day that re-inforce those ideas. I've lost count of the number of girls my friends and I have shagged that were into serious relationships at the time; can't help imaginning how these same girls would adroitly pretend to their boyfriends (and in some cases fiancés/husbands), and righteously demand 'trust' from the hapless cuckolds.

It's all in the mind like you rightly pointed out. What more can I say? May God help us.

0
Avatar
Newbie

^anyone who knows will tell you that a blissful marriage is a swim against tides of Tsunami-proportions to the shores of happiness. That idyllic image of two wizened figures on a bench in a park gazing into cataract-blinded eyes that most people take into marriage is hardwork and sacrifice that these people are not willing to invest into their own marriages. Cos if you would look into the hearts of that old couple trapped in a bubble of love you'd see a criss-cross of gashes and scars they inflicted on each other. People just don't want to work hard for their marriages anymore because divorce is a welcome option. If statistically a greater percentage of marriages end in divorce every new year, then that institution is in its doldrums. The type of marriage our forebears practised worked for them didn't it. I try to avoid sexist debates as much as possible, cos when you view things from that cockpit it is always one gender strafing the innocent other with bombs. Women give as much as they receive today in marriages and relationships, whether in infidelities or otherwise, we don't talk about that often cos they are more discrete

So why don't we do it this way, next time you hear nupital bells tolling then that's someone walking to the gallows!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

So, what if the infidelity becomes incessant? You keep forgiving because you went into an iron-clad agreement(more like bondage) called marriage?

The bible recommends forgiveness but one also has the option of divorce. What's so hard to get? And how come you're bringing the bible into it now? Oh yea, people use the bible to justify anything. Okie-dokie!

@Chiogo,

Yes marriage is bondage- a gold-gilded cage or haven't you heard. If people takes oath to cherish and to hold, love and uphold, in sickness and health, for better or for worse till death do you part, then be bound by it or don't get married. That is why marriage is a union of the mind as well as the body. No one is forced into it. If a cheating spouse is the "worse" for you in a marital union, am sure the cheating spouse has his "worse" from his significant other, and still stays married to her. So yes, if it the cheating becomes incessant try forgiveness, and if that does not work, drag him along with you for counselling. You vowed to stick with him till death, and is cheating according to your diagnosis not some moral sickness?

BTW, I was not trying to justify anything with the Bible, not my idea of an intellectual debate, but merely countering those who are trying to justify divorce by touting biblical passages, when same Bible is suffuse with themes on forgiveness. That said I'm just against divorce, period. When people get married with the notion that well if it doesn't work out I will just quit, then why mouth all those weighty vows. Enough of all those westernized notions of marriage that is replete with contradictions. No wonder marriage as an institution is endangered in the so-called advanced societies. We might as well go back to the type of marriage practised by our forebears- the polygamous type and be spoilt for choice

0
Avatar
Newbie

Theblessed, your attitude would seem to be ethically correct. I mean, it shows self respect when you stick by your principles. I agree that for men and women it is difficult to stay with your partner after they have cheated on you but, its all in the mind. Reading your post one immediately knows how rich your imagination is. It is a gift which if applied with a strong emotion can almost produce a condition that will remain with you for a long time.

When a man/woman cheats on a woman/man who has a vivid imagination, the only way they can remain together is through hypnosis. No matter how much they love each other, the mind will never be at rest with the memory of the cheating. So you see, it's not only the cheating that's the problem.

At the other end of the spectrum are those who either by lack of the faculty to visualise or by dint of will power or by their life experiences have lost or discarded the power of imagination. When such people cheat, they will deny even when you catch them at it and they expect that you will forgive them and forget it as soon as possible as if it never happened. I believe many women fall in this category so they find it easier to "forgive" the man. Of course they do not really forgive they just say to themselves "see this mugu he does not know what I have done". I think men need to wake up.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Nah . . . you don't have to go into an open marriage just because you don't buy the concept of the sanctity of marriage.

You could just pretend like you do and just cheat. . . you get an unfair advantage and that's why you don't want your wife to do it.

If I con you and you lose money, it's my advantage, yo can take the moral high-ground, but one thing about ethical arguments is the question of, why should your ethical values rule mine??

Fornication used to be almost treasonable in Biblical times, they would have sentenced me to death by hanging while being stoned to death.

There's a difference between making a conscious decision and being weak.

There's a difference between drinking when you want to and being an addict.

Your theory is just the same as the 'he doesn't deserve you' speech girls give their girlfriends after they're dumped.

0
Avatar
Newbie

let's put it this way: cheating is a weakness of character (or moral weakness). if you believe in marriage as a sacred institution between a man and a woman and you default against it, obviously you fell weak. if on d other hand you don't believe in marriage as an institution between a man and a woman, you would opt for an open marriage or become swingers. that to me doesn't count as cheating.

if you wouldn't tolerate your wife doing it, or tolerate your kids growing up to do it, then you are weak if you did it.

and by the way, every one who cheats makes a conscious decision to do so. it's only if you didn't make the choice (ie you were despoiled) that it's not considered cheating. obviously.

and i'm sure when 49cents talks abt habitual cheaters as being "interiorly deformed" he's talking about ppl who have totally fallen n at their weakest points. maybe comparable to addicts and alcoholics. they really ARE to be pitied.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Very insightful and true! People who habitually cheat are those who sadly do not see a life in being faithful, they are likely blind who do not see the myriad beauty of the created world or the deaf who can't savour the sweet rich of well crafted music. Cheats are to be pitied for they are truly interiorly deformed ,

fidelity is a life-building virtue, not just a rule to live by,

@ latter posts

sad this thread has degenerated to a religious arguments, all the same i have learnt a lot

0
Avatar
Newbie

jesu christi, after paying mortgage for 15years?

i guess just shacking up doesn't sound too bad after all

0
Avatar
Newbie

Once again yawns.

Are you still trying to find another boring phrase?

0
Avatar
Newbie

77 X 7 = 539

Oh, aren't you 'in the faith'?? How can you not know that??

You are a false prophet if you come here to say 'a cheat will always be a cheat'.

Sunday-Sunday worshipper.

Forgiveness means . . . that sin no longer exists to you. And if it no longer exists, leaving him will mean you're divorcing him for no reason.

Read your Bible.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Don't worry, Paul the Octopus is calling.

He would even serve as a special dinner meal.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Dude . . . I'd prefer to have control over my choice of words.

Overwhelming evidence?? All you did was say 'good, perfect and acceptable' wills of God based on that passage, which is completely wrong.

The Bible has many cases of using more than one word to describe the same thing and because of the little ambiguity, people like you read meanings into them. . . hence the reference to Pastor Chris.

Look at the book of Proverbs and see the way different words are used to emphasize the same thing.

When I say, 'go out when the sun is hot and bright' . . . I am describing one thing but from different angles.

It's doesn't mean there is a hot sun and a bright sun. . . I used two completely different words but they don't describe mutually exclusive objects.

And you say you didn't use comparative adjectives?? Isn't your whole argument based on the notion that God is keen on one rule and 'allows' the other??

How then does your application of the 'grade system' come in??

Dude . . . come the eff on.

1. Balaam went against the will of God . . . and how was it permissive after he already repented and turned his donkey to go back home, God didn't permit him, He instructed him to go. How did God's will change if all Balaam did was bless Israel??

2. David's case was simple. . . having her give birth to Solomon, the chose successor was a punishment for the disobedience. If you know anything about Hebrew culture, you would know that the fact that Absalom didn't succeed David was disgraceful and also that Solomon being chosen and the troubled reign  was God punishing David for that sin. 'For thou didst it secretly: but I will do this thing before all Israel, and before the sun'.

3. The parable of the sower is just there to show that God has given us the autonomy to and will not force his choices on us. The words can fall on hardened hearts or ready hearts but it's our choice to either accept it or not.

That 's done . . . what other ambiguous biblical texts are you going to latch on to??

God has his will, which will always remain his will . . . whether we choose to obey it or disobey it, it is still his will. . . 'God is not a man that he should lie . . .neither is he a son of man that he will repent'.

Do you know what 'explicit' means?? You don't give 'explicit' statements and then 'allow' sumthing.

God hates divorce, explicitly . . . Moses allowed (as a ruler, a pragmatic decision) it but it was against the one and only will of God.

It was disobedience supported by Moses and that's why Jesus came to clarify it.

Dismissive comment . . . this is a different one altogether.

Forgiveness is unequivocally enforced in the Bible by Jesus. . . no ambiguity, so how can divorce be 'allowed' if the Bible enforces forgiveness??

Or is there another will of God that allows you not to forgive??

Simple . . . all the other gospels show Jesus unequivocally rejecting divorce on all grounds, Matthew's records were heavily influenced by ties to Mosaic laws.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Hello Theblessed. Is it possible as a Christian to forgive an erring husband? And why do you think a man who cheats once will cheat again? As for me I think women are the ones who cant stop cheating when they start and they are more adept at it.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.