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Why Would My Girlfriend Cheat On Me?

People, please help me out here. It happened about 1week ago and although I've forgiven her, I've been asking myself why it happened? So what's my story, please read on:

I've been going out with this girl for the past 2 years now and we have always been very happy with the intention to get married in another 2yrs after her NYSC. I really did love her and made sure she lacked nothing (the most recent was the N150k laptop I got for her about 1 month ago), even if that meant a little inconvenience. Before this experience, I believed she really loved me also and we certainly never had any major problems except for very minor arguments and stuff. The only difference between us is that we aren't from the same tribe.

Okay, she happens to be a student who went home for hols. Last week, she calls me to tell me that some old man - a friend of the father and from the same tribe comes to their house with his son for , you know, "this is my son, he is working and is interested in marrying your daughter". According to her, her dad tells the friend and his son that his daughter is still a student and to wait till she graduates.She didn't tell me about the incident until 2weeks after it happened. All this time, I call her at least once daily. About a week ago, during a phone call she tells me that she had sex with someone. WHHAAT

I'm still trying to get over this "experiment of hers" when a few days later, she resumes school, comes to see me and then tells me that it really happened. Can u please imagine that? I ask with whom she did it with and after some hesitation she tells me it was with the guy (who came with his dad) to come see her father. Apparently, her folks ask her to go and visit the guy (at least that's what she told me) and during that visit, they were gisting and from gisting, it happened and that was it. She says it was a mistake.

She literally broke my heart and I was insistent upon a breakup. She begged me not to; I thought about it for a day or so and decided to forgive her on the premise that we are all human and sometimes we make mistakes. I have forgiven her but walai, forgetting things like this is not easy. I have never cheated on her and I have been trying to rationalize things in my head.

People, please how the hell could something like that happen? Do women make silly mistakes like that. I really need your candid opinion in this matter.

Thanks,

fsb

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62 answers

for once im heartbroken~

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@fsb abeg come and tell us the new development in the relationship. have u left her yet? cause girls like us dey find you. You guys on here are funny you dont collect things back that you have given out with the kindness of your heart. lol.

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Dude i have been reading and laffing. Listen, when a female tells you she don wan no continue with a conversation or in whatever stylee she puts it, no matter the situation or issues from which it arises, no matter what she has done, simply be a gentleman and say its ok, then ask her what she wants to talk about and go on and discuss same. Only if she replies nothing, i.e, she don wanno talk about anything, then you will have to answer with a resounding blinder of a slap. I guess that would set her brains right and put things back in perspective for her. No more Bleep ups and you can keep your lovely girl rest assured she will be good.

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@poster

I can see where u are coming from, u truly like the chic, but i honestly hope shes worth the risk you are taking, cos the honest truth is the probability she can do it again is high, but who knows we might all be wrong

listen to you heart man, if you want to give her a 2nd chance go for it or whatever decision u make man, take your time in making it,

cheers

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True. I didn't see that.

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Fsb please listen. For any man-woman relationship to work, there has to be RESPECT. Let me spell it out, R-E-S-P-E-C-T. The girl cheated, and shes telling you "she doesn't want to continue this conversation"? Dude, she doesn't respect you or take you seriously. My advice, get out of this relationship, and stop compromising your core values as a man. You will find another woman, who will respect you, and you will respect her. If you stay, shes definitely gonna take you for a ride. This is experience talking man, trust me, I know. Forgive her for yourself, wish her well, put this incident behind you, and leave.

And in your next relationship, work on commanding mutual respect, so no one will have the balls to tell you this kinda crap.

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I said pregnancy for a reason.

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I just hope he hasnt "been" wth her since this happened

else mr man will end up footing pregnancy for this new dude

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fsb did you remind her to use a condom next time since she wont promise u not to fail again?

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HABA, its ok pls, i feel sick already imagining fsb coming here  in two years time and starting a topic called, SHE IS PREGNANT FOR MY LANDLORD, SHOULD I FORGIVE HER?

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what puzzles me most is she even had the nerve to break such news on the phone so nonchallantly. When u're eventually married she'd just casually mention that she's pregnant for ur landlord at the dinner table and all u'll do is "promise me not to do that again"?

Egbon fsb . . . put water for ya eye. its time to wake up.

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YES YES YES, esp when a certain 150k LAPTOP is invovled, fsb u did nt even specify the brand.

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Shei u don hear, COLLECT THAT LAPTOP AND INFORM US HERE B4 FRIDAY PLS>

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Pls disregard any advise as such. . . . .Kick the girl out of your life. . . . . . . .she's a disgrace to womanhood.

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I just need the brother to collect his LAPTOP

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Take heart, we have all been there before.

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And lest i forget, Pls colect ur laptop, wat where u thinkin off buying her a lap top in the first place, did she tell u that she wanted to be a computer wateva, COLLECT UR LAP TOP B4 I VEX.

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Lmao. na slowpoke be that.

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I'd be VERY afraid to consider a longterm commitment with someone who can sleep with a stranger just by gisting.

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fsb , I pity ur type, forgive ke, hmmm, if u like and be sayin u have forgiven there, am sure by now she has humped another man, its guys like u that make women feel men are fools.

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I'm sorry momma, i never meant to hurt you, i never meant to make you cry but tonight i'm cleaning up my closet.

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True!!!

There is British tomato.

There is Chilean tomato.

There is Kenyan tomato.

All different in size and shape.

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@busy_body

taking that plunge is the most difficult part of everything. I'll sit down and think things carefully,

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You should!!!

I just look down more on women that do it than I look down on men that do it.

It is not double standards, it is different standards.

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Judging from all the info you gave us, she is someone that finds it hard to lie hence the reason she initially told you, then said it was a joke, then finally told you the truth. She also could have lied that she would not do it again but yet again, she couldn't, so it is easy to reconcile with the reason you find it hard to let go of her.

One thing you need to note though is the possibility that she is falling for this other guy hence the reason she couldn't give you an answer straightaway when you told her to promise not to do it again.

Like most guys have said, I think you should count your losses and move on. And yes, it would hurt a bit, but the earlier you take the plunge, the better.

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Clock or not, they're pathetic

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i don't blame the girls for willing to endure such vitriol. Their biological clock is ticking at a rapid pace.

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fsb, I dont understand why you are blaming money when you already said it had nothing to do with material things

Im sorry about what you are going thru. I think you need to put an end to that relatiosnhip especially since it seems like she's "unsure if it will happen again", forget taking back her stuff. Just wish her well and leave. Seriously. You sound sincere, Im sure you'll find someone better

Sagamite, some of us also expect HIGH moral code in our dudes. Then again it's cos some girls are daft enough to take back cheating dudes usually out fo desperation which is why you guys can yarn such dust. No be your faults

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She gave me an impression dat she was afraid of failing after making that promise. The statement was worrying, it made me think she was definitely going to do it in the future,

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Sorry, mate. I can understand the hurt you will be feeling.

Take some of the following advice given earlier.

She might be someone like this, do you think you want this kind of dolo as a wife?

To raise your kids?

This is unlikely, as she would not risk the public humiliation that accompanies it just to break up with you.

Most girls that cheat wouldn't even tell their bestfriend talkless of their boyfriend.

Even if it is true, don't drag yourself on the floor and move on.

Couldn't agree more.

We work hard for that stuff, so we demand a higher moral standing from women in regards to cheating especially when you are being a good guy. All you feminist can start tearing your hair out now.

So she made you jump all those hoops to land in whoreland?

Main point: I think you have to go, no matter how painful. It is the best for you as regards to your future.

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one wonders how many other fellas the girl has gisted with - since gisting seems to constitute her mating ritual

@ poster, i seriously doubt if this was the first time something like this happened. in the end, its your choice. . .

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Good thing some females also have that "DNA" Natillus

That's what I was wondering about. Do the parents not know of the OP's existance? Are they aware of his intentions with their daughter? fsb should come answer these questions

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If it happened once, it will happen again!

Woman have more control than that, me thinks she wanted a taste of somethin diff. . . .

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how long has she known this her papa friend pikin? na wa ooh na so people dey easily dey open their legs, never become STEWPID in the name of love. but then, come to think of it if she never told you, you most probably would never have known, you may really have to talk with her but for me , whether she was drunk when it happened, its GAME OVER!!!

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she has given the most precious part of her body to someone else, that it why it is called PRIVATE, what part did she preserve for you? her hair?

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Hope you are warming up.

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fsb dump her fast. A woman with integrity and who truly loves you will not allow things to "just happen". Women are usually strong enough to refuse sex IF THEY DONT WANT IT.

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@poster,

I am sorry to hear of your dilemma, Get rid of her. You deserve better. Some things are just not meant to be. Life goes on,

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true!!

she wants out but wants you as a close f, K friend

and she actually went to visit they guy, what for?

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There's another story you guys aren't picking up on.

The girls's parents encouraged her to go visit the guy who eventually 'caned' here. That means the parents are VERY amenable to the idea of her marrying this other guy.

What sense is there in you keeping on with a girl whose parents will be opposed to your marriage anyway?

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@poster

i realy dont think she slept with that guy cause if she did she wouldnt have told u, no matter how a girl loves a guy, the moment she cheats on u she wouldnt dare to tell u unless she wants to use it as a means of getting rid of u cause she will believes u would u would tell her its over the moment she tells u that she slept with another guy.

so be careful man i think she is looking for a way out of the relationship.

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She will do it again, shes got the eyes for it!!!

you better get all you can and start looking elsewhere!

She is your new f buddy!!!

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People what happening to you all.

you guys to seems to 4get all bout LOVE, who knows if any of you has ever Xpirence through love coz i dont jst get it all you guys could say is for him to leave her and go on with his life.what if he never found some one that will ever makes him happy in life again apart from this very girl?

and how are we so sure the next girl wont even do some thing woser than what she has done?

after to all some one in Bilble got married to a prostitute compare to this very act.

FSb i feel for you man,she must have realised her mistakes by now with my lil knowledge the girl is jst be sincere to you.

alright bro .

see ya have a gud life and be gud.

ok

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your babe is still a baby, playing such tricks. once she cheats n you forgive her, she will do it again. dump her

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I know it is hard for you to leave her but you cannot trust her again.It has happened to many people,it is easy to forgive but you cannot forget except if you have a slow memory.

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LMAO . . .sorry but couldn't help but laugh at this topic.

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Generally, If you can distinguish between good advice and bad advice, then you don't need advice.

Whichever way you wanna look at this though, the probability of your girlfriend telling you before you found out yourself is lesser than the probability of saying it to test you/hurt you/prick your conscience, etc.

In spite of this though, this is the lady you intend to get married to, and the only safety net you have is that you don't have plans to get married soon, so you still have time to give the relationship a grace period in order to find out whether you still wanna be with her.

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