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Would You Forgive Her?

Ok,picture this scenario: You're a guy. You're in a relationship with a very nice girl. She's a virgin(it's not some devious trick,she really is a virgin),and she says she's waiting till marriage. You're a decent bloke,and you love her like crazy so you respect her decision. She's a bit naïve,she's young;20,21,and you're her first serious r/ship. You've been together for 8,9 months. Prior to this,she was more financially buoyant;in fact,it'd caused problems in the past since you had a problem accepting her help. Anyway,now you just got a great job and you're now on equal footing with her financially. You move in together,but there's still no sex. You try not to pressure her,but you want her,badly,and living with her doesnt help matters. You try to make her see how difficult the situation is for you,but she still doesnt budge. Naturally,your r/ship becomes strained. You throw yourself into work and become distant,you don't talk,you never listen etc,and you use work as an excuse. It's not like you're doing it deliberately,you really love her,but still,your r/ship worsens and both of you quarrel often. Once,you travelld on business. You were gone for a few weeks,you never calld,you werent there when she needed you,basically you neglected her. During this time she grows closer to a friend of hers,a guy,who she's known for a while . He's in a wheelchair. He's in love with her,but she has no clue. She's naive and inexperienced. She doesnt see him as a man,she's unaware of his sexuality and how he feels about her. She doesnt see him as a threat(she thought he couldnt perform,not that he ever said so,she just assumed cos he's paralysed from the waist down). While you were away,he gave her the emotional support she needed. One night,he kissed her for the very first time. She got carried away,and that same day,he made love to her. You get back from your trip and notice she seems diff. In her defense,she did try to tell you,but as usual you didnt listen. You tell her you wanna do things right and u ask her to marry you.

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20 answers

i have a similar situation my girl friend cheated on me, she confessed it to me telling me her conscience would not allow her, and dont know how to forgive her self for such act. my delima is if she had not told me i wouldnt know she loves me so much and i love her too she is so hurt she wouldnt want to disscuss how it happened shold i forgive her?

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@ezinne, loool! It'll be our little secret. By the way,what's been goin on in tinsel?

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She don bcom second hand,i no go fogive

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I would forgive and forget her.

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I was once in ya shoes poster.

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@izeek, i dnt u read the story very well

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It's not me,thank God! My woman would never do that. If my gf cheated on me,bye bye,if it's my fiancee,the wedding's off,if she's my wife,i'll give her quit notice,even if we have kids she'll still bounce,and she'd better hope and pray that i dont cut her out of my children's lives for good,because that would be what she deserved. Infidelity is unforgivable.

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@daviddylan, tope, atreus,

sorry but are u guys trying to tell me there has never been a case where u had to ignore ur respective spouse's for a while?

was tha enuf reason for him/her to go sleeping with everyone in sight?

dude was pissed and he has good reason to be, went on a bussiness trip and decided to use that time to think things tru.

ok, given she might not know that, but if she felt strained in the r/s, cudn't she wait for him to return and then talk things out.

and even if it dint go well, and she wanted to date some1 else, she wud have atleast tried sorting things out b4 jumping to another guy.

this is one major reason i hate dating in-experience. if he has stayed 9months with u without sex, dont that prove he is not after just sex?

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if she confessed or as in told u herself , forgive her and go ahead to marry her, but if u found out urself then its up to u if u can forgive her.

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He should have married her. Afterall,that was the initial plan. Even the bible says that if you cant hold yourself you should marry.

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I will never forgive her!!!

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@exquisite,she had no plausible excusd tn do that. If you're having problems with your guy,you work it out. You dont go cheating on the guy!

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both are at fault but the guy must carry the greater share of the blame. Its hard to marry her though left to me . . . if she cant hold herself with other men who are just "friends" . . . Lord knows what she will do when she's more experienced.

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well lets do the take again,

u date her for close to a year and she has absolute ontrol over herslef,

and then u are away for a few weeks and som lame ( sorry) kisses her and pow!! she is disvirgined?

sorry bro, but even though she might love you,

your sexual chemistry just dont blend.

for real how can u live with a girl in the same house for months and nothing happens and just when u guys got a little problem she blows away @ the slightest touch!

i suggest u do a re-think cos there's gonna be many more fights, and many more bussiness trips.

are u gonna feel secured wherever u are?

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@tope

How is ith the guy's fault that she slept with another man. They were goin thru a rough patch like all relationships, but cos ur man is acting up dont mean u gat to be a hoe!!! Theleast u could do is break it off, fall in love with another, then shag ur new beau,

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They are both at fault here n their mistake started wen they both moved in 2gether. Did the guy ask her 2 move in cuz he thot the girl will let him have sex wit her? Neglecting her put the girl in a vulnerable state n the wheelchair guy took advantage n the girl is very silly to have slept wit the guy. If i was the bf 4givin her wud be difficult but i will eventually 4give her tho cuz its partly his fault.

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oh my bad,

ur question asked if u could forgive her after proposing, right?

well , it all boils down to how much u really love her, and if u are willing to overlook such acts, U also have to consider: did she tell u herself or u found out "accientally"

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ok seriuosly,

I dont condone infidelity, for whatever reason. I mean she was still living with u(even though u were away) while she had sex with anoda man. If she could withhold her self for 7/8 mnths wen she was with u, why did she give in so easily to another guy she wasnt even in love with, bla blah

But then, i do bilive in second chances, and the the fact that people do genuinely repent,

So dear, if its dilemna, weight ur options, try to observe if she has truly repented, and follow ur heart, Cheers

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She accepts ur proposal without telling you the truth. When you find out(as you inevitably will)would you forgive her?

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