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Would You Let Your Brother Marry A Girl You Slept With?

i got back from school to find my elder bro dating a girl i slept with a year ago

at first i taught he was just gettin his share, but was shooked when i returned

from youth service and he officially bought her an engagement ring and announced

thier engagement furthermore they plan on getting married this june

last week i called the girl and had a long talk with her ,but she is bent on getting married to him saying its our little secret

what would you do if you were in my shoes?

ladies will you allow your sister to marry a guy you slept?

pls help me out here,

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Whether she is all arounder or bicycle girl, just let your brother know you have dated the girl before, then if he want to continue the journey..then your hands are clean and u shuldnt go b/w them again.

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Did you slept with her because she is an "all arounder" or loved her?

If she is a nice girl, then keep it as y'all dirty little secret. If she is a "bicycle" where everybody is riding it then definitely tell your brother.

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I see no difficultly in coming up with an answer.

the only betrayer here is the Poster. Why didn't he tell his brother he had slept with the girl when he first say them together?

if you think this is some way to show loyalty, you're mistaken your broither probably loves the girl to think of marrying her. If he breaks up with her, he'll place MOST of the blame on daywalka for not telling him before he got hooked on the girl.

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day walker,

u must have gotten more replies that u ever bargained for ,what an interesting topic.

from your tonacity, i percieve you re having some guilty prick, dats why it automatically became an issue dat demands your attention.

secondly, i also percieve that dis your brother pays or paid your school fees as the case may be,

for everybody in the house, why is it that whenever an issue bothers around sex, every1 panicks?

when will we africans understand what social liberation is all about,

you slept with her and so what?

where you the first? why do u think u will be the last?

that young man is your brother just by virtue of circumstances of birth nothin more nothin less, in other words; he could have been some1 elses' brother,

so wot re we talking;

casually TELL HIM,

if he pukes

ask him the following questions

1, was he expecting to marry a virgin too bad

2, is he 1? if not who re his victims? ghosts i guess

your mission to tell is reasonable only if u infected her with a life threatning

illness outside that i dont see any reason

if he has accepted her a non virgin in the first place, den whoever doesnt matter ,your brother should be thankful ,what if it was a hooligan from the gutters, miscreant, charlatan,Molester, rifraff or other societal never do wells, i guess he wudnt prefer them,

my advice;;

if he has a good sense of humour TELL

if he is uptight or the straight jacket type

SEAL ur lips

but if i were ur broda, i will laugh and buy u a drink aftaall poo happens

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Why would I tell my bro? It's an opportunity for me to shag her again and again

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Man, if I were you I'd tell your bro!  Same thing happend to me, I was sleeping with a girl for about 6 months, during this time my younger brother was away.  He later hooked up with the same girl I was with and later on, they became a couple.  Well, to make it short, he was going to move with her to Arizona and live there together but one of our freinds, mine and my brother's, told my bro that he knew the girl my bro was dating and also he told my brother that she was with me for a while.  Little to say, by little bro stopped talking to me and all this drama happend.  It's not an "ego" thing like some people say, it looking out for you bro!  If he excepts what happend between you and her, then give them your blessing!

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@davidylan

your first post in the first page should be enough for the poster, of all posts av read here l think you were more sensible and matured about it, blood is thicker than water they say, and it's better late than never also it's left for the man (your brother) to forgive by forgiving he should also learn to forger that such thing ever took place and also put the thought of it behind him if he truly wants her. And for you , you should realize that the world is a small place to live in fact that you slept with her doesnt mean another person cant have her, that other person could come from anywhere it's just that we all think differently cos if l were you l would have jokingly told my brother from the onset if l had his interest at heart.

l refere you to DAVIDYLAN's first post on the first page

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@michelin-airhead,

Who's insecure? The guy who is ready to admit the past and move-on or the girl who is afraid that her relationship will suffer cos of her act in the PAST? Seems some of u just talk thru ur a$$; quite an art i must say.

The girl is simply not trustworthy, perhaps she's insecure as i initially noted or this is just one of those dirty secrets that will keep piling up. The onus is on the girl to spill the beans and if things are planned properly, it wud be a cake walk and have no adverse effect on the relationship. The husband to be will definitely find out in the future and all hell will break lose. The earlier this issue is sorted the better; if the marriage is meant to be, e go happen, no matter what.

@poster, u need to convince this chick to yan ur bro or threaten her u go tok if she no tok. It's not an option.

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This is a disaster waiting to happen.

What culture or religion is the girl from?

I think the poster should insist that the girl tell her brother as a  matter of urgency or he would tell.

The girl should say to her boyfriend something like i have been meaning to tell you somethng on my mind for sometimes.

Sometimes back me and your brother were fooling around and slept together once or twice or whatever before I met you. We no longer have any relationship and I want you to think about it seriously before we get married and if you are unhappy about to it to call it off because I don't want you to hear about it later to destroy the marriage.

The girl should have told your brother the first time he found out you are brothers, that alone I think the girl is a dangerous person and will separate families, and will surely still bang the brother anytime. it might even be a revenge mision.

If within the next 7 days or so she never tell your brother, call him and take him somewhere and gently let him know and let him and her work it out from there but I think it will come out even if the next 50 years.

Good luck

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daywalka!!! are u sleeping??!!

tell us - do u still think about her like THAT when she walks into the room? do u still have the hots for her? this is the third time i'm asking bro. i'm beginning to smell fowl nyash o!

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How is this a problem?

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Would You Let Your Brother Marry A Girl You Slept With? The simple correct answer is NO. The question would have been “How Do I Stop My Brother From Marrying A Girl I Have Slept With?” You must begin to act now: tell your brother before it is too late. You have made little mistake already: you should have “jokingly” told your brother that you bleeped the girls first. You can’t keep a secret with your brother’s wife and hide if from your brother. It means you are half a man.

All the same, there is room for amendment as there are many spinsters other for your brother to make a choice. If you allow it, you may be tempted to Bleep the girl after she is married to your brother. The babe might even tell your brother first (out of emotion or something) and this might generate unhealthy feelings. If you let your brother marry this girl, it will be generational Bleep up!!

If your brother insists on marrying the babe after you must have explained to him, then you must arrange for a psychiatric doctor or prayer contractors!!!

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Would You Let Your Brother Marry A Girl You Slept With? The simple correct answer is. The question would have been “How Do I Stop My Brother From Marrying A Girl I Have Slept With?” You must begin to act now: tell your brother before it is too late. You have made little mistake already: you should have “jokingly” told your brother that you bleeped the girls first. You can’t keep a secret with your brother’s wife and hide if from your brother. It means you are half a man.

All the same, there is room for amendment as there are many spinsters other for your brother to make a choice. If you allow it, you may be tempted to Bleep the girl after she is married to your brother. The babe might even tell your brother first (out of emotion or something) and this might generate unhealthy feelings. If you let your brother marry this girl, it will be generational Bleep up!!

If your brother insists on marrying the babe after you must have explained to him, then you must arrange for a psychiatric doctor or prayer contractors!!!

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read the body of the topic well.

he did her chop and clean mouth. she didnt leave him, he left. so what's ur noise about?

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NEVER!!!

How on earth will i allow my brother get married to a girl i slept with.

Infact,for the girl to leave me in the first place means that she's not intrested in me 1 and 2,it implies that she doesn't like my family,so i really don't see where the connection is coming from.

Abeg,una were dey post on here,make una think well before posting anything,Na God I Take Beg Una ooo

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I agree with iceblue, u really cannot put a gun 2 her head.

Maybe u shd just let sleeping dogs lie. That's d consequence of messing around just cos u're a guy. U wanted 2 ease ur sexual urge and now it has come 2 this.

If she ain't telling, u shouldn't.

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This is a pathetic situation and it calls for caution.

Honestly, I don't know what I would do if I were in your shoes. But on the other hand, you know your brother very well and probably you lived with him for almost your whole life. Only you can tell how his going to handle the truth. Look at things first, if you tell him the truth, will he call off the wedding, will he hate you, or will he just move on like nothing happened. When you determine how he ll act, then you ll know what to do.

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tell the him now and let him make up his mind if he's going ahead with her. keep no secret with any one let alone a woman, not that men are any better, but u don't want to get mixed up in a nasty secret -believe me.ur secret may come back to haunt u.a future 'had i known' can be prevented now by of this chance

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i don't think it's ur responsibility 2 tell ur brother, yes ur loyalties lie with him but he's getting married 4 chrissakes! the lady should tell him, truth hurts but there r certain things that shd not be hidden when talkin of a life partner. but if u want to tell him, i can't really advise u to neither can i advise u against it.

I have a friend who fooled around with a guy (sex was not involved) the guy in question is manipulative, then she likes his friend who @ some point asked her out. She told d guy that she'd been with his friend n @ 1st he said there was no problem there but later on, he changed his attitude 2wards her. She really did love this guy and isn't ova him yet but she's happy that she told him evn though in d end they could not be,

If ur brother loves her and she tells him, it'll be hard but he'll get ova it, better now than later,

Remember the scene in "The Best Man" where Morris Chestnut kept seeing his bride in his best friend's arms? He even found out because of the book this same best friend of his wrote. Everyone will call it a frigging movie but that is what love is all about. Take Me as I am according 2 Mary J. BLige,

U know what i learned 4rm my friend's experience that God's Love is indeed incomparable.

I may have digressed a little but the truth is it ain't in ur place 2 tell him. When eventually she gets 2 tell him, he'll be angry @ u 4 not telling him, he might even accuse u of doing it again, but u know what i think? True Love has got 2 hurt cos that's what differentiates it from other forms of love. Christ died on the cross 4 us, that's true love hurting.

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why he did not tell him the times he first saw them together?

if he told the brother he thot it was a casual thing, this would even get him madder for thinking his future wife to be some slut.

Another question is, the poster intending telling him now, that he is at the verge of marrying her. Is it to see his brother wallow in pains or what? Right now its too late for any telling. If there should be any telling at all, its should have come from the girl. Let the love birds be.

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Guy,

If i were u, i would have told my brother long before now. Better late than never. Tell him NOW!!! What will follow is a function of 'what will be will be'. Surprisingly, we have two kinds of men on earth:

1) Those who can live with a girl's sordid past, no matter how graphic

2) Those who would rather imagine and can't get the picture off their minds once told.

Your brother sure belongs to either of the above and his course of action would be determined as such.

For me, nothing feels as good as a brother's loyalty!

Look at it this way:

1) Your brother can never blame you for having dated the girl before him

2) Having this 'little' secret creates some kind of unhealthy bond between you and the girl (not wise)

3) It would be easier for your brother to adjust to the fact that you told him, cause he would be better placed to understand her fears (if he chooses to) and at the same time have no beef with you.

Think real deep bro!

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@ post

If they happen to love themselves, then my sleeping with he girl never happened, my opinion

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why she waited!

plain n simple, insecurity!!! why else wont she tell the lover boy the moment she found out they were brothers!

she probably thot or rather knew the guy wud walk, so, game is keep quiet till its too late for him to walk away!!!

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What's all the rubbish you girls are talking about? Nemesis?

I and a girl had sex, my brother is about marrying her, what's nemesis here?

You open your legs and enjoy, later you say guys are bad.

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@iceblue

@jkpretty

hope i hav answered your quetion

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@adeboo[/color][color=#990000][/color][color=#990000]

b4 they get married or after

if after,then my bro will probably kill me

i strongly think she shld tell him herself

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As hard as it may seem, TELL UR BRODA cos if u dont, u ll regret it. This aint no game. she not tellin ur bro is an issue right there and u not sayin nada makes it worse. Better still, make her tell ur bro if u aint gat the balls.

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What u are gonna do?

There is nothing to do.

U arent with her no more, you arent sleeping with her no more so whats the deal?

Since u said u had a long chat with her and she said she is real serious about him, then u need to stay outta it

What i may be tempted to do would be tell one of ma brother's good friends and leave that one to talk with him for me.

At least then he cant say that i didnt tell him.

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@ poster

I have been in that position. My cousin and a former friend of mine slept together, but it was before I met him. He told me and so did she (eventually).

It's up to your brother to be man enough to realise that it happened before he got in the picture.

I am glad that I was told, but honestly I was even happier that my friend told me before my cousin. It showed I could trust him and everything was in the open.

So try to convince her to tell your brother, but seriously, it's not your place.

Let her be the one to tell.

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hi,

what goes around definitely comes around.

u slept with her knowning u wanted 2 just enjoy urself,forgetting she's a woman n will get married someday n if u thot of it,it never occurred 2 u it will b ur own brother.How funny.

guys do a whole lot of poo n xpect chic 2 suffer.obviously u took advantage of her even if u did not molest her.

i advice u 2 go ahead n tell ur brother!ewu!

u no longer date her, after one year, she'sa ur brother's wife 2 b n u dey fear or worry say ur brother is lucky.

dis xmas, my friend asked mi exactly d same ? n his name is david.he dated a chic during our service year in d north knowing d chic no send n considering d way she lived .i asked him then if anything was going on, he said nothing was on between them.when i pressed, it seemed i was intruding.i left him.i just saw him iyr after service n guess what?d chic na him elder brother fiancee now.he asked mi what i will do if i were d one n i said nothing alth i saw d worry on his face.i just dey laugh.he asked mi if she was a wife material n i said yes after all i b chic n no fit spoil another no matter what.he forgot we all know d girl is not a wife material but a sex pot.

i wish my friends davids good luck at least after 7yrs dy will come 2 dis forum 2 accuse d chic rather than go 2 court as gbenga obasanjo is doing.

dt girl u dey chop fit be your brother wife so guys stoppppppp destroying others.

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These are the type of guys I hate and I am so disappointed David is one of them.

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@Kaycrystal

I just went ahead asking the poster a question i knew the answer to. He abviously had a cheap relationship with the girl. In his post he said when he saw them together at first he thot probably it was some in my quote "sharp runs" only for him to get back & the girl has gotten engaged by the brother.

The moment he has refused to open his mouth at first when he saw them together, he should berra keep his mouth shut forever, like the pop will say or is it the reverend?. He thot his brother's relationship with the girl with be casual just like he had with her, but poor big brother fell flatly in love.

My Point is: When u guys go about rubbishing girls, u forget that it could come back to hunt u. The girl he thot he washed his hands off, was cleaned by his own brother. He should take it as it is. That's how life is. He's going to clean up someone else's Dam too. And someone somewhere will think he's gone crazy. lol

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You guys are just too insecure!

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U got it wrong, she's never going to produce an easy answer here and the fact that she kept quiet for this long is enuff to wreck her intergrity with the husband to be! trust men, nobody buys explanation wen it comes to this!!!

the line of thot is this: if u did with my bro and cudnt tell me, hw much more have u done that i wont ever knw of! it smacks more of pretence no matter how hard the babe has shown to be a gud person!the gudness has become sheer pretence to get him hooked!

its a tough call, and there is no easy way out of this!

like every game of deception, someone is obviously going to get hurt either now or soon enuff!!! cos this poster aint thro yet and the bro is obviously in love or delusion.

whichever way, its a sorry case!! and u ought to av told ur bro wen u saw the babe with him, if u guys were pals!

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then if its ure little secret and it doesnt bother u forget about it move on except everytime u see them together thats all u think abt in that case ure kinda in deep poo!!

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hi jkpretty, nice words. i gbadun ur reply 2 dat guyman never accept d fact dat na rubbish he do

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@pOSTER

Since u have refused to answer my question about the kind of REL u had with her.

Well, your sins of the past has caught up with u. You may have thought u had a hit & run, or u had a taste of some naive girl & crept away. Cos i believe if u were in love with her then or she had been someone meaningful in your life, You would have included that in your Initial post.

Karma has a way of catching up, Now its your bro in love with the same girl (u probably have abused). Get off their case & seal your lips like she said.

Hmmn I love that bad girl, lol , lol.

Forget the story of telling your bro anything. Cos if u do, i'm sure she can't be that dumb not to be able to produce a simple answer as "I was naive, i thot he loved me, i wanted to tell u but couldn't find how" & your brother is so in love he'll believe, move on & maybe hate u. So why don't u seal your lips from now & wait for your own dream girl. LMPAO!

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It depends on the type of girl I know she is.

If I know she is wayward, I would tell my brother to drop "it" like it's hot

If I know she is good and all other things required in a wife I would keep my mouth to myself!

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@iceblue

very cool talk there. you talk am well.

@jkpretty

good point

@poster

oya, e dey ya hand. tell us make we reply your question.

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@ Poster really did u guys have a relationship or u just had sex

Was there something that spurred an emotion in her that led to sex, or u just had sex, it could also be that u forced her u know or played on her intelligence, cos as far as we know, she was younger then, than now. Tell us the kind of affair u guys had.

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A "good person on the inside" would not neglect to tell me that she once had sex with my own blood brother. That is already a sign that she is not trustworthy.

You can forgive her for sleeping with other men, when the man involved is your own blood it becomes a different story.

u men are difficult people, that's why. even if she had one boyfriend in her life, it will cause problems. what's the recipe for a happy marriage? blind wife+deaf husband!

it's her right to decide whether to tell him or not, but many of you cannot , forgive?, wrong word, because she could not have offended when u werent in the picture, let go is more appropriate, even when it happened in the past and there is nothing left of that occurence or relationship. if they are both sure that their marriage can work, poster should ask the girl whether she wants to come clean with his brother. if they dont tell, he cant have a headache over what he doesnt know

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A "good person on the inside" would not neglect to tell me that she once had sex with my own blood brother. That is already a sign that she is not trustworthy.

You can forgive her for sleeping with other men, when the man involved is your own blood it becomes a different story.

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ahhh. tricky. but really, what is your own? the girl wasnt good enough for you to marry, but your brother thinks she's wife material. my view is that if she's really a good girl, a good person on the inside, dont spoil things for her or your brother. you wont gain anything from it.

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Lets be realistic here . . .

1. The wife-to-be failed to tell her so-called hubby-to-be that she once dated and slept with his own brother . . . that is already a very serious breach of trust.

2. Face it . . . once u've slept with a woman its hard not to repeat it. How will you feel if your wife had a dirty little sex secret between her and ur own blood brother? Can we honestly trust that such will not repeat itself when the husband is not around? Can the husband trust his wife with his own blood brother?

If i were you i would long have warned my brother. There is nothing more devastating than knowing that ur own brother has seen the deepest secrets that you thot were reserved to just you. This is shaping up to be a recipe for not just a failed marriage but a fractured family.

how is he supposed to do this? he's not a prophet, unless his brother and wife tell him he's unlikely to find out.

One day the desires of the flesh will over ride any loyalty to her marriage and she will fall for her husband's brother again.

Like they say . . . talk is cheap. Sometimes a lot of our "responses" are far detached from reality.

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@poster ------ Did you just slept with her or was in relationship with her? l need your answer to enable me give you the best advice.

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Sounds more like it's your pride hurting here!

It's your decision to tell your brother, but I'd leave things be. Do you want to break them up, because you feel your brother has what you for some reason or another, gave up?

As per the question "Would I Let my Brother Marry A Girl I'd Slept With?" How would I stop him? Hold a gun to his head? I'd leave them be!

Some may say, my loyalty should be to my brother, but it's up to him to look into his girlfriend's background, and decide if her past could affect his future, not for me to do his dirty work for him, and start dishing the dirt on her!

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