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Would You Want To Know If Your Partner Is Cheating?

or are you one that goes with : WHAT YOU DON'T KNOW CAN'T HURT YOU?

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66 answers

I dont wanna know if hes cheating on me, becos if i know or hear i will not trust him and my love for him will not be de same again.

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I dn't wanna know!pls tell me u had a flat tyre.d knowledge alone is death pill.

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Will wanna know so that i cld kick her off the curb.

wont wanna know cos what i dont know wont hurt me

wanna know so that i dont get infected with the other man's diseases and spirit.

so 2 against 1, that means, i wanna know.

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why should you know and cause yourself more heartbreak

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i picked this line up but i dont know where"a girl is only a guy's the moment they are 2geda.when they split she is evr1s'(same for a guy).i dont wanna know who else is fuckin my gal but if i love her so much i culd imagine and try to do little amebo but i will neve stalk or be possesive of any girl.

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No, instead I'll leave him to his conscience, because even if I know I'll be hurting my self and I know I love him dearly and will not want to loose him. Maybe I may talk to him about it.

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men love to cheat. what is that saying about men being polygamous in nature?

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Damn!!! I found myself self in another thread, What is this all about here.

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*comes in, looks at the mess he made and decides to duck for cover before he hears sound of artillery*

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whats goin on here? Igbo guys, there's igbo related thread somewhere o.

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@ sam

it makes sense. mbio itu etank iko nte mbio efik. nto ibieno formerly part of itu. etebom mi ake se atank efik or as we say adodoho(spelling aya nwod). nso ke anie adi ndoko? double103@aol.com

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idioko, mba ke utom. ato uke? because u use nkang instead of ukang. I'm thinking itu.

I'm about to leave work. Umi idioko, ado better than idong at least for me. but idong anwod tutu. especially ekpang nku kwo, atama and aditan. hopefully anya ka idong soon. i hope ke london is treating u well. ayen ka mi song idem ke afed mkpo aya afon ama kemi ini.

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LOL, just sam ,samsilo is a name my cousins used to call me .Mmo mba ke obio owo ami. Some topics and comments dey annoy me.I just got back from a joint where I saw how a lot of my fellow humans fool themselves because they do not understand this world we live in and I jokingly offered to give them letures if they would pay.

Nkang udo aba die.

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Samsilo abadie? ayink mfo ake feb. or is it sam nsido?

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Sister,WORD. Mme tang ankak. I have been saying it,if you are not married and your man or woman is treating you right,no disrespect or fooling around with people in your environment forget it.

Me I no be Mugu, I have seen enough in this life to be awarded Professor on this Nairaland as far as this BF GF matter is concerned.

Don't want to know every thing or you will die young of heart attack before anything else.

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but who hasn't cheated b/4 man or woman.

sometimes it is not good to know.

I remember i once cheated on my BF, he away in bida then ok, it was 4times.

when he came back he was told by his sister-inlaw who didn't quite like me that i was cheating on him. he came to me and said baby i love u very much and i've been hearing things. Look into my eyes and tell me the truth and i'll never ask again. I looked into his eyes and said baby, u know i would never do such. He believed and never asked me about it. we were together until i left naija.(telling him would have hurt him more)

That being said, cheating is nothing unless it is affecting the realationship. If a guy that use to call doesn't call anymore or does not show affection that is when there is problem but if all is well, then all is well. Of coures this scenario is only in BF/GF relationship. there should be absolute faithfullness in marriage no questions asked.

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i will like her to tell me herself and not from another person

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[table]oh and some guys are asking me, how i can say guys can cheat without emotions, errm IF YOU ARE HONEST WITH UR SOUL, U'LL KNOW I AM TELLING THE TRUTH, TENDENCY IS, GUYS SEEM TO BE MORE CAPABLE OF SEPARATING SEX FROM EMOTIONS THAN LADIES, hence they can have sex with u, walk out and not remember your name in a month, whilst the lady will probably still be able to tell u what perfume he was wearing that night. because they can't control their libido at that point in time, if u argue, check this,

u got your babe u been dating 2yrs, and your babe is telling u no sex before marriage (a wedding that will not happen for atleast a year or more, as u havent even proposed to her yet), u had an active sex life before u met her. Now, your in a club/bar with some friends and suddenly u meet this ggirl (your type physically) you to get chatting and you to hit it off. B4 she's getting tired of the noise, and wants to go home. u offer to walk her, leaving your friends behinf. u get to her door she invites u in. She starts kissing u, and u go rock hard 'down there', she keeps intensifying the passion and the heat of her carresses. Your mind knows u shouldnt be doing this, but everytime u try to pull back she goes in deeper. You havent had some in 2yrs dude and its bursting to come out. So u give in. 2hrs later your heading home thinking, i don't even have her number,

One night stand?, yes, she really liked u and might want to see u again, but u can't because really u were just attracted to her, u love another, this u cheat for love? and who is more likely to get emotionally attached here?

BTW, LUST IS NOT AN EMOTION, ATTRACTION IS NOT AN EMOTION (a feeling maybe, but in this context, i want to think emotions run deeper than feelings), LOVE is an EMOTION, SADNESS, JOY etc,[table][/table]

i agree completely with luxoire

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i would love to know

i no be maria winas when no wan know na

lol

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i actually made my last gal promise me dat d day she'd cheat on me she shld tell me cos i wld rada know and 4giv her but d moment i find out on my own, dere's no goin back. but d truth is dat wen 1's partner cheats, things can never be d same again no mata hw hard u try and cos he or she would always feel u'd do it again so its just beta u 4get about d whole thing as in d relationship( dats my own opinion)

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talking from experience, It can be devestating,killing, but I'll rather know,than be kept in the dark pretending everythin is fine.

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The truth hurts no doubt, but it's the only way you can stop building castles in the air.

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HAHAHHA i am sensing a competition here, haha

WHO IS THE GREATEST NO-STRINGS SEX GENDER?, MALE/FEMLAE!!!

i'm not for open relationships sha, but if he insists on cheating, i'd leave him, thus giving him the freedom he needs to sleep around

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MAN, Is it boyfriend or husband.Any way it is better you don't know cos when he tells you any thing you will believe him rather than doubting

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who cares if he is cheating, abeg i am getting mines too, so no problem. Love is way too over-rated. Everybody should shag whom they want without silly quilt trips. I am all for open relationships

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@oge4real. I sincerely hope in 2007 people are still not having sex without protection.

@dollyp1cute, you don't seem to get the question.

Its not about cheating being good or bad .Cheating always has consequences when you find out.The question is do you want to find out and why.

About men and sex,just believe .It is ego thing for most guys,if their women has cheated on them they start feeling inadequate and wonder what he has and they don't.

I strongly believe from my experience women tend to get emotionally attached from sex .I am a man and have a lot friends who I see sleeping around ,absolutely no strings.

On the average how many boyfriend /girlfriend relationship do you think is based on love, not convenience or lust.

I would say like 30%

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MEN CAN HAVE SEX WITHOUT BEING ATTACHED THAT IS JUST A LOT OF ERRANT MYTH CONCORTED BY OLD WOMEN TO DEAL WITH THEIR RANDY MEN. IT SOOTHES THEIR HURT

THAT IS JUST THE SAME AS WHEN THEY SAY REAL MEN DON'T CRY. MEN DON'T REALLY HAVE EMOTION, MEN DON'T REALLY KNOW LOVE, MEN HATE PINK.

BELIEVE WHAT YOU WANT, BUT SEX AIN'T PURELY PHYSICAL 4 SURE.

YEAH AS A GUY YOU MAY HAVE REDUCE YOURSELF TO BELIEVING THAT TO JUSTIFY YOURSELF.

IF HE IS CHEATING ON YOU, SOON ENOUGH CRACKS BEGIN TO SHOW AND OF COURSE YOU BOTH WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT IT'S PROBABLY COS HE'S BEEN CHEATING (YOU BEING IGNORANT OF IT AND ALL). Y'ALL PROBABLY PUT IT DOWN TO COMMUNICATION, MONEY AND THE GIRL'S ATTITUDE BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

WHY IS IT CALL CHEATING? GUY OR NO GUY, CHEATING IS CHEATING AND IT HAS CONSEQUENCES.

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it is better to know so as to protect yourself from STDs.

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@Luxoire I appreciate it when people are honest and speak their minds .I thought I would be attacked for my earlier posts on this thread.

I am not that old but I have seen enough to make me wonder if some people here live in the same planet I have lived in.

Fact. As you said I found men can have sex without getting emotionally involved .Some ,but a lot fewer women can do it.

If a woman is in love she is very unlikely to cheat on her man. A guy can be in love but get involved in the kind of scenario you brought up.

My take is that if you want to find out then be ready for the consequences ,otherwise if it is not in your face and you are not committed to an exclusive relationship as husband and wife,do not go digging as you may not like what you find.

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Thank u choc, i dont think she picked up on that!!

Now now pees, its inetresting to see ur views, THE GENERAL CONSENSUS I AM GETTING HERE IS THAT MOST CHIKS DON'T WANNA KNOW because THEY TRUST THEIR MEN 10I% (errmmm yeah right!, burying ur head in the sand doesn't mean sh*t aint gonna happen), lol, thats just me being cynical

GUYS ON THE OTHER HAND, ABSOLUTELY WANT TO KNOW, SO THEY CAN GET RID OF THE BABE, (very realistic approach to life)

oh and some guys are asking me, how i can say guys can cheat without emotions, errm IF YOU ARE HONEST WITH UR SOUL, U'LL KNOW I AM TELLING THE TRUTH, TENDENCY IS, GUYS SEEM TO BE MORE CAPABLE OF SEPARATING SEX FROM EMOTIONS THAN LADIES, hence they can have sex with u, walk out and not remember ur name in a month, whilst the lady will probably still be able to tell u what perfume he was wearing that night. because they can't control their libido at that point in time, if u argue, check this,

u got ur babe u been dating 2yrs, and ur babe is telling u no sex before marriage (a wedding that will not happen for atleast a year or more, as u havent even proposed to her yet), u had an active sex life before u met her. Now, ur in a club/bar with some friends and suddenly u meet this ggirl (ur type physically) u 2 get chatting and u 2 hit it off. B4 she's getting tired of the noise, and wants to go home. u offer to walk her, leaving ur friends behinf. u get to her door she invites u in. She starts kissing u, and u go rock hard 'down there', she keeps intensifying the passion and the heat of her carresses. Your mind knows u shouldnt be doing this, but everytime u try to pull back she goes in deeper. You havent had some in 2yrs dude and its bursting to come out. So u give in. 2hrs later ur heading home thinking, i dont even have her number,

One night stand?, yes, she really liked u and might want to see u again, but u cant cos really u were just attracted to her, u love another, dis u cheat for love? and who is more likely to get emotionally attached here?

BTW, LUST IS NOT AN EMOTION, ATTRACTION IS NOT AN EMOTION (a feeling maybe, but in this context, i want to think emotions run deeper than feelings), LOVE is an EMOTION, SADNESS, JOY etc,

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@Dezi, Read through the post again so u understand.

Also note Luxoire is a female.

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luxoire u said

(IT'S OK FOR THE GUY TO CHEAT, BUT NOT THE GIRL, because then the guys get all hot n' bothered about it).

how can u say such a thing.it seems u will never be faithful to any lady.

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When I was dating I truly believed that those who expect a 100% exclusive relationship as boyfriends or girl friends are jokers.

I believed as far as you are not married you are a free agent.

I was never into that jealousy thing and as far as a babe did not disrespect me by sleeping around anyhow or with people I know, as far as she was there for me and was loving , fun to be with. I no send what you do behind my back.

The only time I ever bothered was when I knew I was truly in love ,then the jealousy bit became uncontrollable.

If I found out a girl slept(with another guy) I would calmly bring it up one day, and from that day I would have the advantage in the relationship.For one the babe has lost policing rights on me and would always be confused what would happen next so a charm offensive to win forgiveness would start.

You may wonder why I would have such a cynical view. EXPERIENCE.

I always had a lot of female friends in University who were close to me.I got know that most of them almost always were dating more than one person for different reasons.One is the guy for a good sex,another gives the cash,another mister funny guy to make them feel good etc.

Also if they live in Lagos and school in Abuja, one guy in school ,another in Lagos.

So I made up my mind it was a total waste of time bothering about what you can't see.

Before the ladies will kill me let me say the[b] guys are worse than this.[/b]

Till this day I do not know any guy who is single that has only one woman.Even many of the married ones.

So if some one is not your wife or husband,no kill yourself.Them go always do and swear it can never happen.

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i think it will nice to know if ur partner is cheating on u. If you find out s/he is cheating on you, you try to find out why s/he does that. The fault might even be from you. some ladies on getting married feels they hv arrived and forget to keep those things that attracted them to their spouse. This might make the man start looking outside. I believe it is better to know than keep living in a fools paradise.

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i think i will prefer to know so dat i dont keep wasting my precious time and attention on the guy.

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Yes i would want to know and why - Then she's gone!!!

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damn, it would be doing me a big favour knowing if my gal is cheating or not, den i'd hav 2 leave her. cant stand my woman cheating cos i always try 2 be there so she doesnt hav a reason 2w cheat.

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I really want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!So i can run as if the whole world is chasing me n besides knw the reason why he's doing dat

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is right that what you dont know cant hurt you. But I would like to know if he is cheating so i can know my options and make a chioce

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Of course not, don't mean i won't try n talk her into staying thou.

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i dont want to know if my partner is cheating on me. but, at the instant i know, then the whole stuff is over. *** nobody is justified to cheat- a man or a woman

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How can you say that for dudes cheating is only a physical thing are we animals that act on only impulse?. There has to be love/lust (emotion), attraction(emotion). I want to know if she's cheating on me so i can get rid of the Dam and get a newer model!. But she won't cheat why? because she's one lucky girl because there are not many men like me out there!

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Why should i bother my head with issues like this.

I know of a surety that my partner cant cheat on me.

And if he does i pray i dont find out and that god gives me the heart to make good and fruitful decision.

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@viee, i see where u are coming from!!

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@viee, it depends, i am not one of those people that advocate leaving someone in the first isnstance because they cheat (unless they are a compulsive cheat)

If your guy cheats on u, and u turly believe its a one off, and he loves u and respects u in anyother way (just as long as he didnt cheat 'close-to-home') i would say give him one last chance, if he does it again, he knows the door!!, However if u don't think his apology is genuine and/or he will do it, then leave his first time round

If it is your hubby, stay for as long as u humanly can (without becoming a door-mat) and try and work things out

personally, I CAN TOLERATE A GUY WHO CHEATED 'AWAY-FROM-HOME', BUT A GUY WHO CHEATS ON ME, WITH MY FRIEND, SISTERS, MEMBERS OF MY FAMILY, NO WAY (not even a second chance-but thats my prejudice)

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@Adetife, double standards exist when both can be judged in same light, yet one side is easily 'forgiven' because of their genetic inheritance.

And yes, whilst i i mentioned that Most guys cheat physically, it is not a reason for them to use genetics as an excuse, but when girls do it, it is not genetics, they are branded.

Human beings are human beings, and though they might cheat for different reasons, if a girl is going to be called slut and made to feel ashamed for cheating, then a guy too should be made to feel same way, and not 'excused' by society because he is a man, and genetically he is 'programmed' to cheat

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