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My Raps: What Should I Work On?

Can Anyone give me some advice on my rymes Yaw have seen me spit what should I work on

@ Kaydee thanks for your advice

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9 answers

aight yaw thanks appreciate da input

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yep, dblock said it all. If ya wanna rap about sum'thng else then you gottta have subject matter, u know like an underlining theme. Other than that, you've improved tremendously with ur battle rhymes. Thing is, battles are about you and ur opponent, ripping an mc to pieces. Heck ma previous battles are testimony to that. You spit it sick J, u just keep slaying and elevating.

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You've got good flow and your punchlines are tight

If you made your Spits, based on a "subject Matter", you'd be gettin a record deal in to time, that's if you want one.

These verses are tight, nice flow and a good imagination

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wassup tell me what I outta work on and if u hatin Den Ill battle u

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anyone else got advice. I really appreciate everyones advice drop some it ya got some

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@ Tianshie Thanks bro I really think Ya rymes is hot too I dont wanna admit it I dont know bought ahyone else on ya squad no offense to them. but u is nice though

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@ Jduck

I think if anyone in your crew impressed me at all it was you.

You got imagination.

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Well ruff I think U good but U need to work on ya vocab a bit u r syker than u used to be ill say dat but if you r to get better u need to freestyle 24 - 7 and work on ya vocab

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OK here is my rymes tell me which ones you like da most and what I should work on then rate me overall as a rapper 1- 10 Thanks holla

@ metafuckas

Hoodloyalz crew real cats and real rappas

u know how we do jus killl cats and kill rappas

we some ill rappas not touch and feel rappas

want to talk junk ya fall victim to da steel clappa

Yaw whack cats aint tochin a soul

I burn yaw up im da furnace yaw da coal

u keep dissin but ya bullets keep missin

and u keep tryin and b u jus keep missin

Yea I be trippin yea B jus 9 clinchin

yea man im rich yea b jus dime pinchin

theres talk about us when theres talk of da game

u talkin bought us when u talkin bought fame

because I'm enflamed like one da devils gnomes

everythings burnin B except fpr my throne

we hold da crown its HoodLoyalz kingdom

Dey in da backgroung tryin to hide but i seenem

I'm a HooDloyalz soldier ready to brow dey brain

HLoyal Advocate man this crew is insane

If Rap was rome wed be ceasar

and if we talkin bought ice den id be a freezer

when we talkin bought hoes u know im da pleaser

and I sellin More albumns den drug dealers do reefer

This is hoodloyalz territory our domain

and so U know we gon reign longer den a hurricane

U Got Mo dots on u den a giraffe

take aim and spit more lines den a graph

Hold ya ears c yea u feel my wrath

Who won? now lets all do da math

I'm a algebric eqaution hes kindergarten addition

dese people is hatin tryin to take up on my mission

Dese people wishin dey could defeat

this man in adolescence that aint never been beat

I leave a hole in ya heart an evalastin impression

And i have u people fallin like da stocks in da depression

every thing I spit u know I spit literally

because B u know I got more cheese then freakin Italy

I undastand why u talkin why u be hatin me

because U know I got more dough then a bakery

and i Cant be fakin man I gotta spit real

got more Ice on my neck den in ya grill

and im so real im so ill wit a gun* hear gun rooster in back ground*

I Got 99 problems but this Bit$$ aint one

* here gun shots*

@ Tianshie

U out like a dyin flame please u is da dyin flame

My spit put u out and cool down ya game

u started as a spark and now u jus ashes

I'm a forest fire and da rest is jus matches

U aint a match homey U is nothin

u da smallest flame in da game u jus fromtin

man u couldnt set A barn wit hay to flames

u couldnt burn toilet paper ya games to lame

couldnt melt a candle couldnt make it wax

when im meltin da mic and everyone who attacks

Man im so syk that dey callin me young pac

and yea u goin down like ya names young jok

it wont stop so don't sweat da tech

have pieces of u ever where like u a car in a wreck

Ive been In da game for ever ruled da world for a century

and I spit more bars then da state penetentury

im 6 inches away and im still out ya reach

because I keep da mic stainless like I washed it with bleach

I don't herem speakin I guess they plead the fifth

and he make more attempts to run then Emmit smith

Enough playin and enough of this sayin

time to start sprayin yea time to start slayin

I'm gettin laid ya girls legs im spreadin

and I got more cake then a mothafu$$in weddin

got more cheese then a motha fu$$in burger

people talk wit ease and ya c dey get murdered

don't play I get hoes every day

like da x and y axis deygo every way

okay and u fake gs tryin to faze me

keep on talkin u be pushin up daisys

wipe my feet on u like a rug step on u like a bug

I aint puttin words in ya mouth nah man jus slugs

I don't need a knife or a gat don't even need a pen

jus need my freestyles to guarantee a win

I can make it syk if I ryme or I hum

Homey I beat u like u was a fu$$in drum

I don't stop heart pains no I aint no tum

I jus start aches blow da brakes off this bum

Sink u like the titantic erybody trip and panic

because U still da second largest like u was the atlantic

Gettin all this money cats call me a billionaire

and yea im ridin dirty like my name was chamillionaire

I'm da sykest in da game and all u cats c why

call this man frodo because like peach hes nehi

I'm puttin u down mollify u like lotion

I spit so much man I could make a sixth ocean

my glock speak loud and proud so im a slaughter hoes

and I spray more then a motha Fu$$in water hose

Yea I be gettin all da hoes so dey call me J-Nice

and this man be grabbin more balls den Fu$$in J rice

I keep on blowin up like a supernova

and I got more venom den a fu$$in king cobra

when it comes to talkin homeboy im da husher

and I let my sh$$ burn like I was fu$$in usher

and when u lookin through my cell homey u gon get shook

because I got more digits in my contacts then a phone book

So u get head well bit$$ I get more head

and my game stay bigga then ya mothafu$$in forehead

feel u wit dread and i will feel u wit lead

feel da streets wit heat even till da beat bled

even ya seat said homey sit down

this cat got u beat wit da heat from motown

Me without a mic is like a beat without a snare

comin wit a flow so inventive and rare

I'm a freestylist and a poet off da top and a writer

either way I Have u passin da mic jus like a cipher

have u sayin no I don't want to go I'm through

haha now u witness what J-Nice da Lyrical Assasain can do

yo yo as soon as he wake up

this fool put on makeup

rippin cats poppin cats droppin cats who fake up

Who I take up anyone I please

and jus like a mouse homey all I want that cheese

don't u c homeboy im a g

been doin this Sh$$ $ince da age of three

Dont mess wit me I got a Lyrical sword

and I'm super bowl Mvp like hines ward

To all them bitches and all them freakin hatas man

I soar like jordan and get hoes like chamberlain

aint no playin b c aint no playin me

keep on talkin poo den u know im gon be sprayin b

haha weak bit$$ lil snitch paddy hoe

got ya girl im my crib have her sayin daddy o

sayin daddy slow because u do it so well

I stroke so mean man i make her poo swell

Yall can call me names like white Dam and cracker

but ya poo cost less den a kfc snacker

betta yet da wrapper u aint worth that bit

Ya mom cost a penny and she aint worth that poo

wastin time not worth da clit

tell her go to school and I might think about a hit

Call me mr. clean because im fresh like soap

and call me crack slanger because i always got that drugs

no joke and I aint talkin bought no coke

I'm jus talkin bought pimpin ya kno im rippin I hope

and I'm da # 1 shampoo because im da best bet

think clear listen hear as I cruise like a jet

and keepem off so dey don't dirty da scene i set

hold up this soap opera that is drugs aint ova yet

because ill freshen up da place like I was febreeze

a spray a spit and da company I will please

set da stage grab ya swords ready for war

ya lyrics betta be tight because da best whatll soar

What u here for u strapped wit a dagger

and we rock great swords that is longer den a ladder

and sharp as could be jus like a hornets stinger

a real bell ringer ready to fell any singer

who step in da midst of battle without some protection

so please get some lessons get strapped or be regrettin

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