«Home

How Do We Stop This Re-branding movement?

I am Hungry, Please Re-brand me

By: Salisu Suleiman

I am Nigeria. I have millions of acres of arable land and billions of cubic litres of water, but I cannot feed myself. So I spend $1 billion to import rice and another $2 billion to import milk. I produce rice, but don’t eat it. I have 60 million cattle but no milk. I am hungry, please re-brand me.

I drive the latest cars in the world but have no roads. I lose family and friends everyday on roads for which funds have been looted. I lose my young, my old, and my most brainy and productive people to the potholes, craters and crevasses they travel on everyday. I am in permanent mourning, please re-brand me.

My school has no teacher and my classroom has no roof. I take lecture notes through the window and live with 15 others in a single room. All my professors have gone abroad, and the rest are awaiting visas. I am a university graduate, but I am illiterate. I want a future, please re-brand me.

Malaria, typhoid and many other preventable diseases send me to hospitals which have no doctors, no medicines and no power. So my wife gives birth with candle light and surgery is performed by quacks. All the nurses have gone abroad and the rest are waiting to go also. I have the highest maternal and infant mortality rates in the world and future generations are dying before me. I am hopeless, hapless and helpless, please re-brand me.

I wanted change so I stood all day long to cast my vote. But even before I could vote, the results had been announced. When I dared to speak out, silence was enthroned by bullets. My rulers are my oppressors, and my policemen are my terrors. I am ruled by men in mufti, but I am not a democracy. I have no verve, no vote, no voice, please re-brand me.

I have 50 million youths with no jobs, no present and no future. So my sons in the North have become street urchins and his brothers in the South have become militants. My nephews die of thirst in the Sahara and his cousins drown in the waters of the Mediterranean. My daughters walk the streets of Lagos, Abuja and Port Harcourt, while her sisters parade the streets of Rome and Amsterdam. I am inconsolable, please re-brand me.

My people cannot sleep at night and cannot relax by day. They cannot use ATM machines, nor use cheques. My children sleep through staccato of AK 47s see through the mist of tear gas. The leaders have looted everything on the ground and below. They walk the land with haughty strides and fly the skies with private jets. They have stolen the future of generations yet unborn and have money they cannot spend in several lifetimes, but their brothers die of hunger. I want justice, please re-brand me.

I can produce anything, but import everything. So my toothpick is made in China; my toothpaste is made in South Africa; my salt is made in Ghana; my butter is made in Ireland; my milk is made in Holland; my shoe is made in Italy; my vegetable oil is made in Malaysia; my biscuit is made in Indonesia; my chocolate is made in Turkey and my table water made in France. My taste is far-flung and foreign, please re-brand me.

My people are cancerous from the greed of their friends who bleach palm oil with chemicals; my children died because they drank ‘My Pikin’ with NAFDAC numbers; my poor die because kerosene explodes in their faces; my land is dead because all the trees have been cut down; flood kills my people yearly because the drainages are clogged; my fishes are dead because the oil companies dump waste in my rivers; my communities are vanishing into the huge yawns of gully erosion, and nothing is being done. My livelihood is in jeopardy, and I am in the uttermost depths of despondence, please re-brand me.

I have genuine leather but choose to eat it. So I spend a billion dollars to import fake leather. I have four refineries, but prefer to import fuel, so I waste more billions to import petrol. I have no security in my country, but would rather send troops to keep the peace in another man’s land. I have 160 dams, but can not get water to drink, so I buy ‘pure’ water that roils my innards. I have a million children waiting to enter universities, but my ivory dungeons can only take a tenth. I have no power, but choose to flare gas, so my people have learnt to see in the dark and stare at the glare of Unclad flares. I have no direction, please re-brand me.

My people pray to God every morning and every night, but commit every crime known to man because re-branded identities will never alter the tunes of inbred rhythms. Just as the drums of heritage heralds the frenzied jingles, remember - the Nigerian soul can only be Nigerian - fighting free from the cold embrace of a government that has no spring, no sense, no shame. So we watch the possessed, frenzied dance, drenched in silent tears as freedom is locked up in democracy’s empty cellars. I need guidance, please re-brand me.

But then, why can I not simply be me, without being re-branded? Or does my complexion cloud the color of my character? Does my location limit the lengths my liberty? Does the spirit of my conviction shackle my soul? Does my mien maim the mine of my mind? And is this life worth re-branding? I am not yet born, please re-brand me.

http://naijablog.blogspot.com/2009/06/i-am-hungry-please-re-brand-me.html

Avatar
Newbie
43 answers

have you ever heard the story of the boy who cried wolf? the whole "rebranding" is a joke. I am an American living here in Nigeria and from my personal experiences in Lagos- Nigeria is crying wolf.

0
Avatar
Newbie

"You either die a hero or leave long enough to become a villain"

Its clear to see honorable Dora Akunyuli, has pictched her tent, with a very misguided and dead(as far am am concerned) government.

YAR-A-CLUELESS, is truly at his wits end on this one, during the previous 'civil regime' it was said that OBJ used EFCC to witch-hunt his opponents, accepted, Now i ask you what is the EFCC doing about individuals who aligned with OBJ then, A BIG FAT NOTHING!!!

NOTHING AND I MEAN NOT A SINGLE THING HAS GOTTEN BETTER SINCE YAR-A-OMG!!-WHAT-AM-I-DOING-HERE stepped in. 7 point agenda my Bottom, all he has managed to do his surround himself with an un-knowledgeable, recycled, have nothing to offer, northern-origin dominated cabinet.

I know OBJ is a scheming bastard, but putting YAR-A-MEHN-THIS-IS-A-LOT-HARDER-THAN-BEING-A-GOVERNOR as president, to show just how not bad a leader he was, is absolutely diabolical.

Only God Knows why we have been punished us with this leaderless leader

0
Avatar
Newbie

@Post

Nice piece.

We've got lots of good writers and less of positive history re-writers (getting used to the 're-' word).

Lets stop writing. Lets start acting.

But we must act with care, lest they brand us MILITANTS.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Abeg help spearhead the campaign from outside 9ja cos If u dey 9ja expect Nigeria Police and SSS for ur doorstep.

0
Avatar
Newbie

papa deceive pikin party! very nice and creative and i think the whole rebranding poo is big hoax. big ups to salisu suleiman brilliant write up

0
Avatar
Newbie

lets promote a "GOOD PEOPLE BAD GOVERNMENT" campaign instead , lets highlight the good things nigerian people have achieved and lets push a campaign to expose the dirty deals and nefariuos activities of our bad leaders.

who's with me lets design and publish a pdf magazine like forbe's magazine that highlights and showcases the top most corrupt and slowpoke leaders in nigeria.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@iykolosis,

i agree wit u in dat nigerians ar gud at condemnin evrythn wit no better solutn at hand. But i was thinkin, may b we ar lookin at it d wrong way. mayb FMIC is not d Broom. we nigerians could ALL hold BROOMS & mme Dora is only advicing us 2 use d brooms we are carrying 2 start sweepin!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

But one must ask, from what physical and spiritual location should true rebranding begin? In sweeping a room, we usually start from within and push the dirt outward. From where do we begin sweeping Nigeria clean? From government or from the masses? If it is from government, then FMIC should not be the one holding the broom. That would amount to turning the broom against itself and we all know that can’t happen. But even though aunty Dora has been the one holding this broom all this while on behalf of government, lets not rush to condemn the effort. Technically the sweeper cannot expect to rid the room of rubbish by sweeping inward. But it is far better to wield the broom than to hang it up. The Honourable Minister should therefore be seen more as a drummer responding to the rhythmic diktat of history than as the originator of the rebranding machine. No matter how you look at it, rebranding is the most logical thing the FMIC can possibly do right now considering the inclinations of the government in power. I challenge anyone to either cite a more logical policy for the moment or move for the outright scraping of FMIC as an unnecessary government ministry. Of course being the most logical thing to do now doesn’t make it effective. But it is always good to put as many pegs as possible into their respective holes. And that is what the Information ministry is doing. What more can a contestably good heart do in philistine working conditions?

0
Avatar
Newbie

After reading the first post, I have decided to re-brand myself.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@iykolosis,

i luv ur post, though i havent had d opportunity of reading thru d whole thread. i second ur line of thinkin. it isnt d rebranding dats wrong. WE as a nation definitely hav a lot 2 overcum!

0
Avatar
Newbie

in itself, rebranding is good and very much needed. but the problem is that the status of FMIC as a government department renders it fundamentally incapable of carrying out true rebranding. shadow-branding is perhaps an interim measure. lets not forget that Aunty Dora may at this moment be struggling to balance her genuine love for the masses with philistine working conditions. those conditions are not of her making. the real hunger in need of rebranding is the hunger for knowledge. and that is because in many cases, the hunger does not even exist.witness half-baked university graduates. are most of them hungry for knowledge? more hungry for pepe soup and shine shine bobo i should think. but that too in many ways is not of their making cause they belong to a sacrificial generation. a generation betrayed by its fathers. fellow Nigerians, I think rebranding is more of a clarion call to Nigerians to breakdown pestilential strongholds. the irony is that the institution calling for rebranding is most in need of it and should rebrand itself first.

0
Avatar
Newbie

I have no obsession with YAR A'CLUELESS other than that I am so angry that NIGERIA IS NOT MOVING. our so called first graduate President, he said he will be servant leader, rule of law , 7 point agenda , vision 2020,  honest government etc.

1. Now, let us start with his graduate, does he fare better that a failed GCSE student?.

2. Servant leadership- what exactly is he leading ? - OBJ  may be a grarrison commander but at least he lead in a way. He assemble some technocrat to solve the banking situation etc

3. Rule of law,- really?, when he cladestinely removed Ribadu from EFCC sending him to college under a false pretence and appointing someone else to his office while at college.

4. 7 point agenda- once comedian start to make something a joke, it is indeed a joke. The joke in town is now let him do 1 point agenda. Do you know the whole 7 point agenda, if you do, please name them, if you finish naming them, please tell me after 2 years in office which of them has he carried out.

5. Vision 2020 - Nigeria is presently about 40 or 50 leading economy in the world, 2020 is barely 11 years from here and having wasted 2 years, election campaign to start next year, you sincerely think that we will not move southwise rather upward to 30something

6. When the guy was campaigning in April 2007 before the election he said that ' he will declare emergency on power within 100 days of assuming office' , we are now well over 750 days he still hasn't done so, on the most important problem of our times.

7. HONESTY. The guy is very sick, and obvious, and he is in denial. If one is very fit mentally but unfit physically it will affect productivity.  I am not a doctor but I am connvinced that he is not fit physically and  mentally (like most of our former President who are not fit mentally). The first attribute of a leader or a good one is to be honest with people as much as possible. If he is doing his job he may succeed in masking his illness BUT one brought the question about the other.

If Nigeria is YAR A'DO NOTHING  father's business he will never employ someone like himself.

I hope you understand my anger now rather than obsession,

YAR A'DO NOTHING  and the PDP are just bunch of a A DO NOTHING  PARTY.

Borrowing your signature, these guys are agrressive minority who imposed themselves upon us through family and military connections. Anyone can take that to the bank and cash it.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Ok, I have to ask @Vigasimple. What is with your obsession with this man?? Why is it that most all your posts are about him? Sort of like @Chidichris most always brings everything back to OBJ, no matter how removed. lol

0
Avatar
Newbie

@ poster

Talk am, make them hear, GOOD WRITE UP.

0
Avatar
Newbie

lead the world ke!!! make we see now.

By the way, i didn't write the piece, i just cited it from another website.

0
Avatar
Newbie

LWKMT@comments, u guys are so funny,

am laughing out my Bottom,

@poster, 9ice write u,

i knw one day Nigeria will lead the world, the day is comming,

God bless Nigeria,

0
Avatar
Newbie

To d poser

We cannot stop the re-branding but we need to stop something more important: the OBJs, the Yaraduals, the David Marks, the Abdulsalams, etc. Cos these ppl are the Nation's problem. There is no amount of branding or rebranding that can be done on Nigeria that will work. In fact I am ashamed of this Country. How can we have a country that is governed by criminals and hope things will work. These ppl know that they do not have all it takes to govern a nation like Nigeria. In fact they dont have what it takes to govern a local government, so they take things by force. There are ppl in this country who knows better (the Nigerian obamas). i am really sad to call Yaradua my president. As a muslim, an handicap shldnt lead and Yaradua himself knows this. May Allah forgive him and make do a u-turn and change for better.

0
Avatar
Newbie

dat woman (akunyili}lost my respect d day she join the papa deceive pikin party{PDP}

0
Avatar
Newbie

Nigeria needs branding not rebranding.

0
Avatar
Newbie

well this depends on the way you look at it

0
Avatar
Newbie

please tell them oooooooo

nigeria my ,

0
Avatar
Newbie

Word!!! Nobody holy at all.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Word!!! I pray for this our nation Nigeria cos we have no other.

0
Avatar
Newbie

As long as we have a YAR A'LIAR  leading  A DO NOTHING PARTY  of PDP we  cannot rebrand anything.

Until the LEADERSHIP and people at the helm begin to show honesty it is the same story. Things like WAI became succesful because the messanger is carrying the message truthfully and leading by example.

I am only sorry for madam nafdac because all the reputation she built up will be soiled by 2011.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Food for thought. I do believe that we have the capacity to make a change for better, question is why don't we?

0
Avatar
Newbie

Why do I get the feeling that we are all making this rebranding scheme a Dora-only issue? I am sorry but NO, it is not just her problem to deal with but ours as well. The article above makes one particular point that I felt to repost that, and that is that every single Nigerian is a problem that needs to be dealt with. We are the problem here.

We pretend to rebrand ourselves daily with lies we tell others of how we are the best people, the happiest people on earth etc. Yet we are the same people who go out to commit all sorts of atrocities against our brothers and fellow men.  Sure, Dora decided to take the idea national but we have all been practicing her form of rebranding for longer and we need to deal with that at least.

0
Avatar
Newbie

u rebrand to upgrade existing structures that are working, in nigeria we have no existing structures not to talk of it working.

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster

Nice one. You just chronicled the whole things that needs to be really done on this rebranding thing. But wait a minute: Has Nigeria been branded before that it thus needs rebranding?

We are yet to wake up from the October 1960 slumber or from the concotion that Lord Lugard made us to be. I pray dora Akunyili will read your blog.

I no blame una! As Ogaga Ifowodo will say GOD PUNISH LORD LUGARD

0
Avatar
Newbie

bravo bravo

Nice piece

0
Avatar
Newbie

You cannot stop them. Just pretend nothing dey happen. As with all things in life, it will pass. Na today?

as Benjamin the donley said in Animal Farm, "Windmill or no wind mill,

0
Avatar
Newbie

@poster, are you the same as @typewriter? I don't gerrit?

0
Avatar
Newbie

quite a creative write up!!

We may just not get it right!!! Thats my only fear!!

All men to him self, God for us all!!

0
Avatar
Newbie

she aiming to get a better fame, she is pok nosing everywhere.

just for world to know she is working, but in the real sense there are other minister who i dont know but i give kudos to them for a job well done not her

0
Avatar
Newbie

she's fooling herself!

0
Avatar
Newbie

@post

Spot-On.

Rather than the name re-branding, what Akunyili is really doing is SHADOW-BRANDING.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Please does anyone know where I can REBRAND my old Cortina shoes by Bata into a pair of Alligator skin Gucci shoes? Size 42 by the way.

0
Avatar
Newbie

Rebrand wetin? who bin brand am before ? Talkless of rebranding.

0
Avatar
Newbie
Your answer
Add image

By posting your answer, you agree to the privacy policy and terms of service.