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Can You Marry Someone Who Doesn't Believe In God?

Hello there,

There are some of us (Nigerians) who actually don't believe in God. We don't go to church, we don't go to mosques. Some of us can be quite moral, gentlemen, and not players. We are as faithful and honest (or dishonest) as the average Christians, and sometimes more so. But we just don't believe in God. At all.

Suppose you meet someone who is so sweet, so loving, so gentle, so understanding, so caring, so attractive, so charming, etc. Someone who is everything you have ever wanted in a husband or wife. But that person just doesn't believe in God and despite all your efforts cannot believe (or refuses to believe).

If that non-believer in God asks you to marry him/her, will you oblidge, and under what conditions (if any)?

Thanks a million!

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122 answers

the answer is obvious.

The bible says that it is only a fool that says that there is no God so to marry such person is to marry a fool

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light and darkness has no connection,

so there's no need

it will only breed trouble

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NO. There is already a struggle at times when two Christians are married. Imagine the tug-a-war when a Christian is married to an unbeliever?!

I THINK WHAT PEOPLE FAIL TO KNOW OR UNDERSTAND IS THAT REJECTING CHRIST IS ACCEPTANCE OF LIVING A FALLEN LIFE OF SEPARATION FROM GOD AND HIS SPIRIT, AND ALLOWING THE DEVIL TO LEAD YOU, USING YOUR BODY, MIND, ETC. FOR FULFILL HIS PLEASURES.

GOD LEADS HIS PEOPLE. BUT A PERSON SEPARATED FROM GOD CANNOT EVEN HEAR FROM GOD. INFACT THE BIBLE SAYS:

1. You adulterous people! Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity(hostile)with God? Therefore whoever wishes to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God JAMES 4:4

2. So letting your sinful nature control your mind leads to death. But letting the Spirit control your mind leads to life and peace.

That is why the mind that focuses on human nature is hostile toward God. It refuses to submit to the authority of God's law because it is powerless to do so--ROMANS 8:7-8

IT'S IRONIC HOW THE SWEET PRESENCE AND AROMA OF GOD FLOWING THRU A BELIEVER'S LIFE ATTRACTS UNBELIEVERS. IT'S LIKE BEES ATTRACTED TO HONEY. THEY ARE NOT AWARE THAT IT IS THE GLORIUOS PRESENCE OF GOD THAT IS REALLY ATTRACTING THEM TO THAT PERSON.

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No I can't. Because I am still striving to attain the point of holiness in my Christian race. Even though it seems impossible, the last thing I need is a setback from any avenue, including marriage. Sorry if my so-called "soul mate" is still galavanting in sin, your loss. The only good I can do for you is witness to you. If you like receive it, if you don't like abhor it, but as for marriage, rara o!

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I honestly do not think that the reason we have high divorce rate is due to differences in beliefs. Marriages of people from the same faith and church fail as much (if not more) than people from different faiths or belief systems.

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The question is very clear: Can you marry someone who doesn't beleive in God?

My answer is very clear: No, Never

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I am an atheist and my wife is a born again (redeem), and we have have three wonderful years of marriage with no problems what so ever. In the beginning here church could not understand why her husband do not follow her to church and she tries to explain my position. One day the head pastor came to my house to talk to me and i explain to him that the way i am made up do not allow me to accept things on faith, we had a long chat and in the end he understood that we cannot all see things the same way, and he has left me alone since. Even the assistant pastor has come to talk to me and we agreed to disagree.

I just had my first child and the pastor is coming to perform the naming.

So i do not see why people with different faiths cannot have a successful marriage if there is love, fidelity and mutual respect.

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well since she thinks i believe in God because i pretend to she hasn't got a choice. When she finds out that i'm an atheist it will be too late

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nopeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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nope

even some xtian denominations, i cant go near

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mashoo? why are you stressing the SHIP & ANCHOR? are you a saillor?

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There's always an ANCHOR for every great SHIP. So, every relation[b]SHIP[/b] need an ANCHOR because of turbulent times - which will certainly come. If God aint your ANCHOR, then forget it - its not STRONG enough to HOLD you during crises. Meaning you cant have HEAVEN ON EARTH in your marriage. It doesnt matter if you are christian, muslim or traditionalist. At least you believe in the SOVEREIGN BEING.

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my dear, there nothing a woman wants more than a man with all these qulities you have listed christan or not what has your belief got to do with it or is god going to live with both of you? as for me i'll say yes,  as long as you are a good husband and father the rest is histry.

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I will not marry such a person but thanks thanks though, I am happily married.

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Why no? Don't you think can influence the person's belief?

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But the question says "who doesn't believe in God".

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Anyone who believes not in God cannot live under same roof with me. So the answer is 'NO'.

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thonia, i 've corrected the mistake. i meant to say 'who doesn't'

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[flash=200,200][/flash]

The bible says marry only in the Lord,what that means is that you have to marry only those that share your believe,this will help to eliminate heartache in the home

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What may seem like a weak reason for you or me can be strong enough for that person and we're not in a position to oppose that decision.

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About your take on suicide, I'll have to say that that's a low requirement for something so permanent. At the least, I think it is best that something like suicide is not done as a permanent solution to a temporary problem and all other avenues have been thoroughly exhausted.

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Why should I even marry an illusional person who believes in god?

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I know. I actually wanted to include that in my post. That my background in a deeply religious society might have been at work when I perceive this people in their natural elements and everyday lives. Hmnn, I suspect that would prolly be the case for a while. I do like that Atheists tend to be more laid back and relaxed about many things, but i'm just not sure the belief that "anything goes" necessarily makes the world a better place (of course neither does the extreme opposite). I prefer to take each issue as they come, so to speak, rather than an ultra liberal kind of outlook on everything. I'm not saying theist cannot be extremely liberal, but it tends to be more of a characteristics of atheists. This, of course, doesn't change the posts I made earlier in this thread. Cause generally speaking, I have no problem getting along with or being married to an atheist.

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When I wrote "I meant all these things" I was referring to my entire post (incl. the comments about theists) not just the comments about non-believers.

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@Nia,

It might be that your encounters are somewhat coloured by observational bias and perhaps by the specific cultural context of the place you reside in. I'm assuming now you live in the US and it takes a special kind of person to come out if you're living in a place where theism is the norm (the same goes for Nigeria to an even larger degree), this obviously means that the more extreme people (both positively and negatively) are likely to draw attention.

Where I live, religion is a private matter and it is not done to publicly express your religious affiliation. In this context someone's atheism is as inconsequential for a public persona as someone's favorite colour.

If you mean by spirituality a feeling of awe and wonder over the marvels of the world, the feeling to be deeply connected and responsible for the world, then it does not take any kind of religious belief to feel that.

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I see where Chinani's coming from. This is just anecdotal on my part, but anyways.

My ex boss was agnostic, although I thought he was more athestic than agnostic. I also had an old colleague who was also an atheist. And there was the Nihilistic tendency Chinani talked about in both individuals. I don't mean they were horrible people, but if you can imagine the extreme opposite of someone who lived their life in fear of punishment from an higher power, that's how these two seemed to live. A type of "no holds barred" kind of mentality, kind of like "everything goes". I, of course, don't claim all atheists are like this. It's just an observation.  

And this doesn't mean I advocate for the type of religious extremity that goes on in Naija. (I have spoken against this many times). But I think a small amount of spirituality in individuals doesn't hurt.

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personally [/b]give sense to his or her existence, on the contrary. This freedom allows amore genuine besis for a humanistic morality, as it is not something absolute, instituted from above, but a [b]personal choice.

Let me turn the argument around, what is the value of moral behaviour if it is borne out of fear for eternal damnation?

Now, why would you assume that atheism would lead to a higher proportion of nilhilistic or apathethic thinking than among theists? It might very well be possible that the exact opposite is true (Calvinistic determinism, End Times prophecies, etc)

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The thing is that I was thinking of it in the other way. For instance, a person who promoted religiosity but lives an antisocial (in the most clinical use of the phrase) lifestyle would repulse me more than a jerk for whom "survival of the fittest" was liturgy.

But then John Lennon once "God is a concept by which we measure our pain." (those are the lyrics right?) Point being that in so much as philosophy influences behavior it is the precursor to all lifestyles.

Some atheists are apathetic or nihilists as a extension of the (non?) religious beliefs. I meant all these things.

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And nobody should tell me that it is not possible for kindhearted people not to believe in God.

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As long as the lady is not an evil person,i will marry her.I know a lot of really good and charitable people who do not buy into the concept of a God.Whether she believes in God or not is between her and the creator to sort out.All i need from her is to be loving to me and kind to others.

And,by the way, i know a lot of folks who believe in God but are the most evil to walk on this earth.

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@spikecylinder

I am not even going to exchange words with you. My post wasnt directed at you rather seun. Besides I have read some of your posts, you are not worth reasoning with.

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Mrlawng,the first line and paragraph of my previous post was directed at you,others werent.

You are the confused one because you didnt seem to understand the concept of the spaces between each sentence.

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[/quote]

Your assumption that somebody can choose what he/she believes if faulty. Belief is something you don't have any control over

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You are definitely confused. What post  are you replying to, Cos I don't get your point.

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Really?I believe you should read more of his posts before making presumptions like that.

Babysomebody,thanks for pointing it out but no thanks,am not starting a new thread,do you have a problem with that?Sacarstic b!tch!

Bolex,your general point of view amuses me!How on earth do you reason?

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as for me, i can and would marry a guy that doesnt believe in the existence of god.u could be a fanatic and ur behaviour could be nothing to write home about u know.so far the guy im in love has high morals,respects what and who i believe in,bingo ill go right ahead and marry him.

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@ seun

Could your aggresiveness to any form of oppositon to atheism stem from your inner insecurities and doubt about your atheist beliefs and lifestyle?

I presume you are not really sure you want to ba an atheist.

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And when it comes to submission, I'm lost as to what the guys wants.

Do you want a lady that will just do as you wish all the time or what? Personally, I will not marry such a lady. I will rather marry someone who'd correct me when I'm about to go wrong. Someone I can open my heart to and have this confidence that she has my best interest at heart.  A lady that would comfort me wnen I'm feeling down and unhappy. She reads my mood perfectly and knows what to do.  All these ego stuff with men who feel they are lord over all in a family should stop.

I believe men and women of marriage ages should  do a lot to re-orientate themselves about marriage before dabbling into it.

But as per marrying an unbeliever, or someone who does not believe in the existence of the Lord God Almighty and the powers He wields, I will not think twice before chasing away such a person from my sight.

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After reading so much, and plenty of lols, what I will say is that if the originator of this thread wants to know if I can marry someone who does not believe in God - creator of the heavens and the earth, my simple answer is I will not marry such a person.

I will not marry someone who does not believe in God. As a matter of fact, our path may cross, but it will not get to that point that we will begin to talk about marriage.

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How are you doing?

What is your own context of 'believe in God'? The fact that some people do not go to church or mosque does not mean they do not believe in God. Many believe in God but take religion as a thing of the mind and not until you go to church or mosque.

Back to your question, if that person possess 80-85% characteristics of my ideal woman, I will go ahead and marry her but on one condition, she must be ready to accept and follow my faith. It is a saying that women does not have religion i African context, let me put it that way. As a wife(submissive one) she should be ready to follow the faith of her husband, and when love exist in the relationship and is not one sided because it takes two to tangle, she should be ready to accept my faith as her husband or husband to be.

Have a nice time.

ENJOY!

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@seun, why a nominal xtian, why nt an atheist like u?

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Religion divides people. It's so sad. I'll just marry a nominal Christian and we'll produce cute atheist babies.

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Silans, it is not our duty to 'convert', since when did we become 'converters' for d Holy Spirit? If he/she is meant for u, he/she would have come under d convinction of d H.Spirit. Unless one does not follow d scriptures in dat regards.

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