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How Much Of A Woman Should A Man See?

A man who's proposing marriage to a sister in hijab, how much of her is he allowed to see? The face alone, the face and hands? And under what conditions? Both of them alone? In the presence of her mahram?

I brought up this topic because of the way this issue is being taken these days, where we have a brother asking the sister he intends to marry to remove the hijab completely, is this right?

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49 answers

All praise is indeed due to Allah (SWT). All body parts of a woman is Unclad, according to the sharia (Islamic Jurisprudence).The Hijab should therefore cover up her body wholly and shouldn't reveal her shapes and curves at all. It shouldn't give any hint as to how her body looks like.

The Hijab also entails being bashful in her conduct and interaction with people of the opposite sex, as well as striving to be of the best character possible at all times.

If you question why our women should be all wrapped up, then we need to question why you wrap up your money so much in the name of protecting it from being tampered with...

Did you just say it's because your money is very precious to you? Oh! I see. Let me proudly tell you that our Muslim women are much more precious to us than your money is to you.

They are our jewels of inestimable value... Valuable more than the rarest diamonds. May Allah bless and reward them aplenty in this world and the Hereafter for their perseverance, humility, dedication, commitment, diligence, forthrightness and faithfulness in obeying their Creator's injunction.

Please, read Qur'an 33, suratul Ahzab extensively for better comprehension.

And Allah knows all!

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@godson- why not open a thread and ask this questions instead of crooking the thread

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on the other branch of my argument is the assertion that the hijab,doesnt stand alone,but part of an ingrained pattern of gender inequality and religious female enslavement masked up as religious doctrine, the hijab,women sitting behind the men both outside and indoors,the women hidden behind closed doors in the presence of visitors,not being allowed to lead a mosque

Interesting! u just revelaed your destination.i dont see it as a branch.

wanna know why? non muslim have always raised the deluded perception of women enslavement in islam as an issue

and its getting intriuging the more. but unfortunately, am exhausted of orientating non muslim(xtians) who have had raised the issue in the past.

here is my suggestion. if u thought the women are enslaved, why not find time out to have a chat with an hijab sister and have a discussion about her relationship with islam.how it has impacted on her? how it has elevated her, given her a meaning to life beyound exposing a woman's bosoms in an automobile advert etc

and u will see her radiantly,gallantly,proudly,happily,sincerely,ecstactically 'reveal' to you, her joy in the practise of islam. If and as you will find her happy, i make bold to ask why you should use panadol for someone else's headache.its not worth it cos it wont work.

If u ever find someone who is not happy being a muslim woman, i task you to make efforts to convert her to xtianity.

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as a Muslim all u need to say here is Rabi sidni illimo. . .then against them seek refuge from Shaytan

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Let the muslim women continue wearing they hijab.

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the point is that covering oneself up to the shoulders is not a detterent to or for a man or woman for that matter to have lustful thoughts towards them so if that is what mohammad was trying to prevent,then it falls flat in the face of any deductive reasoning, that is the reason i catalogued the various parts of a woman's body which is not covered by the hijab, hope you get the logic now im sure olabowaLE DOES

u seem to have issues with comprehension

the hijab covers every parts of the body except for the face and hands.the hijab is not a scarf.its a long veil that covers a lady from head to toe.non fitting apparel with opening for the face and the hands alone.

could people possibly lust over hands and face? well perhaps.certainly not the way they would lust over a lady dressed in a top(blouse) that is miles away from her tight jeans trouser that struggles effortlessy to cover her butt but fails to.u seem them all around, dnt you?

here is my question.given the definition of hijab, have u ever lust after an hijab sister? i guess not.it takes a real pervert to lust after one dressed in such outfit coz there are no exposures nor curves on display.

here is my conclusion.that some people may still lust after a woman dressed in hijab does not mean the hijab should not be used.its a command from the Almighty.

here is an analogy. i have some xtian friends who dont go to church and i ask them why.the unconvincingly argue that there are people who go to church yet do not have the best of xters.does that make sense? should that preclude them from going to church?

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The reason i say my KALIMAT SHAHADAH timelessly is to re-affirm my faith in the religion of peace and continue in the ways and teachings of the noble prophet Mohammed (SAW).

You will never see me without the Hijab,that shall never happen.

I however pray that you will one day give up the banner of deceit and baseless argument but join in the crusade for 'hikmat' that you were created for.

I leave you to ponder on this and on that note, i say Sallam alaiykum.

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@GODSON2009

I'm surprised that am responding to your post Mr man.

I shudder at the mere sight of immoral dressing.

This act has become so rampant in our society today and for you to assume that those of us who adorn the Hijab are being enslaved beats my imagination grossly.

I wonder what the size of a woman has got to do with her Hijab, ever hear of the adage: "cut your coat according to your size?"

Isn't it simple that the hijab will follow suit with the size of the user?

I wonder what you do not understand about flexibility of textile.

If you check to see the label of any tailored clothing, you'll see the size clearly written along with the name of the designer S - small, L - Large M- medium and XL - Extra large.

From the above list you can easily make your pick depending on how lean you've become in your aimless pursuit for glory where there is none or XL if you've grown so fat in your thoughtless and uncaring mindset for the needy.

Come to think of it, can you still wear same jean trousers you were so fond of in your first year in secondary school?

Oga, you don't have a point,I'll willingly give your madam one of my very pretty Hijabs,am sure she'll appreciate it.

She can come have her pick out of many.

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If am the one doing this you will say childish and what do i call you now ? Agbaya

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Jesus is the . . way, no one cometh to the Father, except through Him!

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Lol. No mind them. They want to corrupt us

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@Goodson2009:

This dude is a shark instead he parades himself about as a jelly fish!

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i share in ur sentiment.

spot on!

Generally speaking, everyone knows/agree that beauty of the body is not the ultimate but very crucial, hence the cardinal requirement that there must be a point of attraction.hence the prophet instruction 'to look at her again'

i am somewhat reluctant to think that the instruction 'look at her again' is with strict reference to character and other virtues, excluding beauty.

beauty attraction is very crucial and the Prophet recognised it, hence his advise that one should marry a woman who understand/practise islam.for we are all tempted to be overwhelmed by beauty. Naturally, a man's preference for a woman differs.

A woman is only allowed to expose her hands, face before non mahram( plus child,oldman etc).I am not aware of any exception to this express, unambigous quranic injuction. therefore, by way of advise, a bachelor who is deeply concerned abt the physical and physiological make up of a would be bride should liase with a trusted female friend who may well confirm(not describe) if the specification of the brother is in accordance with the sister.

This should however take place before they agree to marry each other.

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Oh can we continue, i love this thread.

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I understand the feeling . . . . . . .

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And even her beauty should be for herself, first for the pleasure of Allah. I like how I feel whenever I have a good haircut, etc. I know how I feel when I dress up, even wearing the right under clothing; and if I put on couture clothing, not because of the price and its uncommonness, but its fit, its right cut and how it drapes on the body. With the right fragrance, your whole attitude is up a notch. As they say the cloth does not make the man, thats when you are wearing a tacky clothing. The proper and right wear complements the wearer as much as the wearer complements it.

A woman must be alluring, suffisticated and always feel on top of the world. She should take a good care of herself, for herself first, then as the eye candy of the husband. Both reason, for the pleasure of Allah, who created man from the best of molds. That and others make the marriage grounded. I love my heart to skip a bit when i think about my bride. I try to make hers feel exactly that, too. I do not want a woman who is not suffisticated. I should not be the one who cares more about looking good and feeling great between her and me.

Just because people are married, that should not kill the romance. I have friend who still refers to his wife as his girlfriend. Thats a way of exitement in the marriage.

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But she still needs to keep and maintain 'her feminine quality' for her husband. Since it's not haram to expose the hair indoors, in the presence of her husband children, mahram men and female friends.

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Thanks for taking time to clarify. Tho' the object of keeping the hair long shouldn't necessary be for 'her feminine quality' as its haram for her to expose her hair.

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@Congoshine: « #39 on: Yesterday at 09:54:29 PM »

The Sunnah of all prophets, including that of the last (AS Jamiah), is that the pubic hairs, including that of the armpit be lean, always. For men, the facial hair, beard is to be lesft alone, in the same sunnah of all the prophets. You do know that all the prophets were men, and none was without beard, right?

Now men do cut the hair on the head. They can shave it, also. If a woman is normal, she will have a full head of hairs. In the rites that mark the end of hajj, the men were shavened. In the case of the woman , she only have a snippet, say a quarter inche yo an inch (measurement is mine to emphasise to you that in this extreme case, only next to nothing is cut from the head).

By the way, if you read my full entry, where you cull up your "shich hairs< Question," I had indicated that it is the that on the head. I think a casual reader will know by the desciptions of man's conditions versus the woman's.

@Cayon (f): « #41 on: Today at 03:31:23 AM »

Cayon, you are a woman. Please tell us about what you think makes a normal and most woman face, since women always, for the most part have soft facial structure, unlike the gauntness of men's facial structure , more beautiful: the women who leaves her hair long with lusterness and luxury in it, full of shine or the woman who shaves clean, trying to be a punk or bohemian; you know the Chelsea neighborhood type, behaving as if she belongs to the "drag queen or bowery crowd?"

For my money, which woman do you think exhibit more feminine quality? Hey if you know Harlem, go ask the old timers, the ones who ejoyed the Cotton club and the Apollo glory days; they will tell you. Did you ever see a picture of Leana Horne or Deindridge or any of the "Divas" bold before? Even now, the best of women always want their hair to be long and thick with more sheen, bounce and luster.

Hey, for me I know what I want: Long rope that is as far as the eyes can see; long for days, finding new ways to put it into good use.

I know the little boys will not know the usage of this: This in itself separate the men from the little boys.

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You're right; downright funny.

And the question from congoshine is insightful. Awaiting the answer, too.

.

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Why not?

Is this statement absolute?

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Please which hair,are u referring to? Thanks.

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@mybad:

Women are not supposed to cut their hair, you know. Men can clean shaven their head. I used to do it, until maybe '03. Most people still remember me as "bald headed." Women only ceremoniously snip a little from their hairs to mark the completion of Hajj. While men are to shave the head for the same ocassion.

Hair beautifies the face of most women. I bald headed woman have to have a very interesting face, with wow bone structure to be considered pretty. She can't have that always expected of a woman's soft facial structure.

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@Mybad: « #31 on: Yesterday at 08:15:56 PM »

We should not disagree with any, even though it is "impossible" to actually adhere to all. that actually bring to our human reading and understanding that the Prophet (AS) was in a different class of personality. Yet still human.

I am still pursuing. I let the woman know that I am interested. And ask her if she is interested. When both of us know that we are both interested, and in due times, we will talk about ourselves; the like and the dislikes.

Before we get to the day of marriage ceremony, I would have known all that I need to know about her. And what I want in marriage will be well known before this particular day. Finally, I will not be shy to ask in front of the Mahrem to want to see the "long hair" that she already told me are 2 to 4 feet long. Lol. If not that long, I will not walk away before her, even if she is bald. It will now be my responsibility to encourage her to grow her hair Long enough for the beautifiation of her face, and my excitement.

But actually, as the obedience to the commandment of Allah and the Messenger (AS).

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I think above all peace. . . . . . . . . . . .

Hmmmmm . . . . . .

Well said . . . . . .

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I quite agree with you.

What's the point in insisting on seeing more than the face and hands? Ok, what if after seeing the hair, legs or whatever, there's a particular thing u dislike, perhaps the hair isn't as long as u wish, or the legs are spotty, will u then back out, and then another brother, comes, does same thing and backs out. Won't this cause fitnah?

And I must say, brothers who are not well grounded in the understanding of islam cause mischief in the name of trying to look at the intended wife.

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This is really enlightening.

But to be candid,the suitor need not see the bride- to-be's hairs,hands ,legs etc. This can be done by his sister or mother.

All he needs is the face and getting to know her character which is poosible without unveiling. Although that will be very difficult for me. . . . . . . but we're all different !

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@olabowale

jazakallah khayran.

This is more like it.

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@Zayhal and others: Salaamualaykum wa rahmatullahi Ta ala wa barakatuh. Below is an excerpt from the writing of Sheikh Yusuf Al-Qaradawi on behavior of believing women and their future husband.

I think every line of this writing deserves to be read.

Seeing the Woman to Whom One Proposes Marriage.

It is permissible for a Muslim man to see the woman to whom he intends to propose marriage before taking further steps, so that he can enter into the marriage knowing what is ahead for him. Otherwise, if he has not seen her before marriage, he may not find her looks to his liking and may have regrets after he is married to her.The eye is the messenger of the heart; when the eyes meet, the hearts and the souls of man and woman may meet as well.

Muslim reported Abu Hurairah as saying that a man came to the Prophet (peace be on him), and, told him that he had contracted to marry a woman of the Ansar. "Did you look at her?" the Prophet (peace be on him) asked. "No," he said, 'Then go and look at her,' said the Prophet (peace be on him), 'for there is something in the eyes of the Ansar,' meaning that some of them have a defect of their eyesAl-Mughira ibn Shu'bah said, I asked for a woman in marriage and Allah's Messenger (peace be on him) asked me whether I had looked at her.

When I replied that I had not, he said 'Then look at her, for it may produce love between you.' I went to her parents and informed them of the Prophet's advice. They seemed to disapprove of the idea. Their daughter heard the conversation from her room and said, 'If the Prophet (peace be on him) has told you to look at me, then look.' I looked at her, and subsequently I married her. (Reported by Ahmad, Tirmidhi, Ibn Majah, Ibn Hibban, and Darimi.). The Prophet (peace be on him) did not specify either to Mughirah or to the other man how much of the woman they were permitted to see.

Some scholars are of the opinion that looking is limited to seeing the face and hands. However, it is permissible for anyone to see the face and hands as long as no desire is involved; therefore, if asking for woman in marriage is an exemption, obviously the man making the proposal should be able to see much more of the woman than that. The Prophet (peace be on him) said, "When one of you asks for woman in marriage, if he is able to look at what will induce him to marry her, he should do so." (Reported by Abu Daoud.).

Some scholars have gone to one extreme or another in relation to this permission, but the best course seems to be the middle one. One researcher considers it quite appropriate in our time that the man who is proposing be allowed to see the woman as she normally appears before her father, brother, and other muharramah. He says: In the context of the above hadith, he may even accompany her, together with her father or some other mahrem as chaperone, on her usual visits to relatives or to public places, while clad in full hijab. (Hijab denotes the proper Islamic dress. (Trans.)).

In this way he will have the opportunity to get an insight into her reasoning, behavior, and personality. This is a part of the meaning of the hadith, ", to look at what will induce him to marry her." (Al-Bahee al-Khooly, Al-Mar'ah Bain al-bayn al-bait wal-Mujtamah'.). If the man's intention of marriage is sincere, he is permitted to see the woman with or without her and her family's knowledge. Jarir ibn 'Abdullah said concerning his wife, "(Before marriage) I used to hide under a tree to see her. "From the hadith concerning al-Mughira we understand that the father of a girl cannot, out of deference to custom and tradition, prevent a suitor who is in earnest from seeing her, for customs and traditions must be governed by the Shari'ah.

How is it possible that the Divine Law should subjected to the whims of human beings? On the other hand, however, neither the father, the suitor, or the fiancee can stretch this permission to such an extent that the young man and woman, under the pretext of betrothal or engagement, go to movie theaters, clubs, and shopping places together without being accompanied by a mahrem of hers, a practice which has become common today among Muslims who are fond of imitating Western civilization and its customs.

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@Frizy

Good. Pls do get the evidence. I'll be waiting.

Meanwhile, Jazakallah khayran.

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You have to be patient with me. But the prophet asked us to know what we will be contracting before agreeing to marry each other didn't he? I wont like to marry a sister and end up finding out that what I supposed wasn't the case. Please I have not said that this should happen anytime you like a lady, but a lady you want to marry needs to be thoroughly examined. The hands and face alone wont do, was that what made you initially to be attracted to her? And i said we don't have to check anything that will make our eyes twist, her legs are not inclusive. If she is still uncomfortable with that, then she better tells me what my ears will like to hear about them in a concise, inerotic manner.

I would try and get a proof to back this up, from a sahih hadith.

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@Frizy

Do you think asking to see her hair and legs are right Islamically?

Pls back up your answer(s) with evidences from the quran and/or sunnah.

Thank you.

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Your supposition is incorrect sir.

And what are those things you think I'm 'in the dark about?

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i am esther iwant u to be my friend

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It is unreasonable for two people to be thrown together and be expected to relate and be intimate when they know nothing of each other.

The couple are permitted to look at each other with a critical eye and not a lustful one.

This ruling does not contradict the ayah which says that believing men and women should lower their gaze.

I suppose you want to know if "look at her very well" also means having "a very good taste of her".

Am sure you know that the teachings of the noble Prophet can never encourage pre-marital sex.

I think at times like this.

When the stiputaions of the Hadith cannot be accurately interpreted, common sense comes into play.

However, these days the Muslimah unveils for her suitor when:-

(1)She feels at ease with herself and her conscience allows her to unveil.

(2)If having done all that is necessary and the lady feels confident enough with the proceedings.

(3)If after careful examination of the suitor, the intermediary and the family/guardian of the lady find the suitor suitable enough for a union with their daughter.

This is not in line with the stipulations of the Sunnah but is a fair deal compared to allowing free interaction with a suitor with the hope of entering into matrimony which may never happen.

@zayhal

A word for the intending groom:

Except for the level of Iman, no Mumin would enter into a marriage contract with a munaqabah without taking a close look at her.

If the face and hands are the only visible parts.

Who will vouch for the other parts of the body?

Not with skin infections,bosom cancer and fungal attacks in our modern society.

I must confess to you that alot is happening in our society that you are in the dark about.

I am not introducing innovations but i well encourage critical approaches to critical situations.

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I  am not a scholar, I can not 'suggest' what to do.

It is because I  need illumination on the issue that I have brought it here. My position ( from my understanding of the hadith and scholars' sayings) had been that the munaqabah could unveil only the face to the suitor, and the one without niqab shouldn't reveal anymore than the face and hands she naturally leaves uncovered.

But the problem here is that I realise this position of mine is inferred. I need a more specific justification for this position, probably, a tafseer of the hadith "look at her very well". How much is he entitled to look at?

@olabowale

Jazakallah khayran.

But the hair? Won't that entail total removal of the hijab? what if the nikkah doesn't eventually take place? Can a sister justify this action (of showing her hair to d prospective husband) in the sunnah? Do we have any example from the sahabah/sahaabiyyah?

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A woman should not unveil to a suitor, the moment he announces his intention. There should not be a "no unveiling" even if the date for Nikah is set. I think there are would come a time in the premarriage period that the request for a "unveil" should not be considered to be out of question. I think a man who wants to see his future wife's hairs, without touching it, in the presence of the "Wali," should not be surprising demand, especially if the date for the marriage have been set.

But of course all thats are of physical attributes that each wants must be discussed and settled between them, in the earlier states, well before the date for marriage was set and a necessary request by the male to see if his future wife's hairs is as long as she has d told him. It is a matter of honesty, first and less of cosmetic. At least he wants his heart to be settled with it.

If the prophet (as) advised to look it means that it is essential to be happy and satisfied with the choice. It goes to the the meat of the issue. Allah Messenger (AS) is the only one, among mankind who knows the full meaning of any and all verses of the Qur'an. Allah says believers should take what Muhammad gives and rejects what he forbids.

If he did not disallow suitors taking a "look well" about the other, then there is nothing wrong with it, as long it is done in proper and adequate settings: Muharam is always present between the two, and there is no chance for a possible Zina condition.

@mybad « #13 on: Today at 01:22:32 PM »

In every situation of Islam there are sets of rules and conditions that must be present. For example: A woman in menstruation can not enter masjid in normal conditions. We already know that she can not pray. But on the occasion of salatul Ids, she can.

When a man who is almost the husband of a woman wants to see enough, like the long and thick and luscious hair of his almost wife, after the date of marriage was set, I do hope it is not haram at that time, if the Muharam was there to be sure that nothing else came off except to expose the hair, in order that the heart of the husband is at least, sinc this is what the wife told him. It is purer for the future husband not to demand to see anything, taking her words for it, which they must have settles and agreed upon all the essential "qualities and qantitification" of each person, aforehand.

It is natural that they may begin to behave in a 'normal" way, more cordial around each other than when they just saw each other, as the day of marriage is getting close.

For a man who loves good teech and non smelly mouth, it will not be difficult to ask about this things: cavities, etc.

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@zayhal

Why not help provide an answer to that question.

We cannot discard the dictates of the glorious Quran or the teachings of the noble Prophet when it comes to issues like this.

"Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and be modest. That is purer for them. Lo! Allah is Aware of what they do. And tell the believing women to lower their gaze and be modest." (An-Nur: 30-31)

What do you suggest we do when faced with situations like this one?

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Pls don't get bored with my questions. It's for a purpose and a good one too.

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It is not proper for the Munaqabah to unveil herself for a suitor.

One would wonder how many suitors she'll have to unveil for before she eventually settles for a husband.

The truth is that with both sexes assurance needs be sought in all aspects concerning the other party.

Even the munaqabah would want to have a good look at her intending suitor except for morals.

However, bearing in mind the stipulations of Islam concerning the Awrah of a muslimah.

It wouldn't make sense for us to drop our clothing at every provocation.

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ok, what about a munaqabah, a sister in veil, does she have to unveil for a prospective husband? What if the sister doesn't feel comfortable unveiling?

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Ok,Agreed!

With Mahram men,its the face,hands and feet while with non Mahram men it's just the face and hands.

NOTE: A mahram is a man related to the woman through blood, marriage or breastfeeding and whom she can't ever marry. The scholars agree that a woman is able to uncover her hair, face arms, hands and legs from below the knee and feet in front of her mahrams.

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@shegirl

what is/are your evidence for this?

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The man should only see her face,hands and feet.

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Jazakumullah khayran

But are you sure the feet are included in those parts that could be seen by nonmahram, any evidence to justify this?

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Allah says in Surat-un Nur ", and not to reveal their adornments except to their husbands, their fathers, their husband's fathers, their sons, their husband's sons, their brothers or their brother's sons, or their sister's sons, or their (Muslim) women (i.e. their sisters in Islaam), or the (female) slaves whom their right hands possess, or old male servants who lack vigour, or small children who have no sense of the shame of sex. And let them not stamp their feet so as to reveal what they hide of their adornment. And all of you beg Allaah to forgive you all, O believers, that you may be successful." Quran chapter 24:Verses 30-31.

The Muslim woman is allowed only to expose her face,hands and feet.

All other parts of her body should be covered.

I think the man is only allowed to see some parts of the lady's arms and not her entire Awrah.

This should be done with close supervision.

However,if he has a sister she could help in this instance to avoid temptations that can be avoided.

The Holy Prophet SAW also said this about indecent dressing:

"Two types of people from the inhabitants of hellfire i have not yet seen: Women covered yet uncovered when they walk they swing their sides/hips, upon their heads resemble the humps of camels they will not enter al jannah nor will they find its scent,……

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Thanks for your response, Samba.

More responses will be appreciated, especially with back ups from the Quran and sunnah.

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As long the woman agree.

The face is the most important part on this issue to recognize her personal appearance and be familiarize to have a nice dialogue on both sides.

If both parties agree

Not so, there must be a party on both sides

This might be right that both parties agree to see their daughter in person. It is not noteworthy to marry a woman without seeing her face or talk her.

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