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Olabowale & Abuzola: What Shall This Muslim Do B4 Allah Answers His Prayer?

I am a married man not sufficiently attracted to my wife. At times I am not even able to perform due to my relative lack of excitement. She is not unattractive; in fact she is young and good looking. However, I am diseased. That leads to my second problem.Second, I am addicted to Indecency. Each time I make tawbah, repentance, and think I've stopped, I end up going back. The urges are uncontrollable. As a result of excessive Indecency viewing over many years, I've become attracted to a very specific type of woman and female body type. My wife -- and most other women -- do not fit the bill. This is a tragedy, of course, partly because my life with my wife is not satisfying and partly because it puts me at risk of committing zina, fornication, (which I've been more and more tempted to do).

Third, and finally, my problems with Indecency have caused me to have very bad thoughts. First, I feel I am a massive hypocrite. I pray and call people to Allah yet I commit these horrible, disgusting sins, and even feel that I am very capable of committing zina, a crime punishable by death in Islam. I am a hypocrite. I am plagued by extremes. At times I make (what feels like) sincere tawbah, and I am overwhelmed with love of Allah and fear of Hell. It is common for me to be overcome with tears at these times. These are great moments. However, most of the time my heart feels dead and I don't feel very attached during prayer and other acts.

Fourth, although I am knowledgeable about Islam, I have become confused about why Allah has not answered my prayers to cure me of my diseased heart, give me fear of Him, and put these problems behind me. I've made these du`aa', supplications, hundreds and hundreds of times over several years -- including crying on mount Arafat during Hajj, pilgrimage, -- yet my problems persist. What can I do about my problem of not being very attracted to my wife? I find myself attracted to women I see at work and in the streets who come closer to fitting my very specific criteria. (I should point out that my wife is just great otherwise.) What can I do about my disgusting Indecency habit (I should point out that I've tried counseling and even meetings for addicts, which haven't worked.)

Finally, what can I do to avoid being plagued constantly with thoughts of:

a) hypocrisy, and

b) doubts about why Allah hasn't answered my prayers. Please help.

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135 answers

you are mad, you this xenophobic fool.

coward that you are.

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Eeyaaa, thunder fire you ooo Yoruba woman. Is it very difficult for you to refer to people without using their tribe?. You are very sick in the head because your latest comment suggests to me that you define people from the tribe they belong and not from who they are.  That is why you are stressing on my tribe just to define me even though you are guessing my tribe from my screen name. A very silly assumption indeed. I pity you, if your Allah ignored a man who crawled round mount Ararat 10x as penance for watching common po*rn, will he ever look at your bigoted ugly ashewo face concerning your serial prostitution and tribalism?.

Your voice reeks of tribalism and I am sure tpia will love you so much. Just stay off me if you know you can't refer to me without mentioning my tribe. Ask around Nairaland, I despise tribal bigots.

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Sometimes, it's just good to get a taste of what you dish out.

On a serious note, I never knew that calling someone 'omo ibo' can make that person want to commit a crime. I can see u with a cutlass looking for me on-line. Two wrongs do not make a right. I rest my case. Let's move on.

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pls sorry ndo,okay,let peace reign

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First of all there is nothing like ibo, it's igbo. Secondly, many igbos here have expressed their disdain with that omo ibo which you and I know stems from an indirect method of segregation. Why not open a thread in the culture section and ask igbos how they feel about being called omo ibo. The gay.got tribalist knows what I am talking about and her reference to me as omo ibo has no place in this thread. The bi*tch  continued after I told her not to call me omo ibo again. Why not scold her instead of directing you attention to me?. islamic mafia, abi?

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Better than a certified prostitute which you are. You call on Allah yet you you are a tribalist. Omo alata.

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@Aloy Emeka,okay sorry about everything,let it die there,if youre called omoibo,it should not hurt you,or are u not from IBO LINEAGE?I dnt think she meant it the way you took it sha,sorry

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My original post said 'u are a certified bas.tard', stamped and sealed.

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Too bad. If u don't like them, na2day u go jump in the lake, not 2morrow.

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Allah is high and mighty and can fight His own fight, and I will be here when u get ur so well deserved punishment, but just as any tru born child who is not a bastard will fight if his/her parents are insulted, no muslim shuld allow a beast of no gender like you 'omo ibo' to wash ur filthy, stinking mouth on Allah. How wuld u know that, when u are a certified bastard.

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I am now wayward because I asked your sister bi.atch  in mohammed to stop using derogatory words on me?. If someone asks you to stop calling him or her something, you better stop unless you have ulterior motive which am sure she had and its known as tribalism. That Fayebiatch is a horned tribalist fool.

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Aloy Emeka,when av u become this wayward,i just wonder

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You are a big Arrow. When did it become your job to fight for your useless Allah?. If your Allah is all powerful, why not let him come fight for himself?. This is the mentality behind jihadist killings; fighting for an Allah they have neither seen before nor did he send them to fight. Every nook and cranny of nairaland is filled with trailer park whores looking for any opportunity  to exchange diatribes. Its your cursed  generation that is omo ibo including your father and mother. Foolish dime a dozen bimbo; go and continue servicing the imams as their 12th mistresses; that's about all you are good for anyway. Ewure, thunder fire your yansh there.

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@ Emeka

It's obvious that u have issues internally that you are externalising. Normally, I would have apologised to you. Not because I offended you, but out of respect for your preferences. However, I refuse to apologise in this case. Are u now telling me that calling u omo Ibo hurts u that much, you, who has the gut to say Allah is deaf? I have decided to forget that and move on, which is why I let u invite yourself into our discussion, until u started making a big deal out of this omo Ibo issues. Okrika, if u don't want me to feed your ears, uninvite yourself now!

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You and I know the rationale behind that because that omo ibo she called me was typical of yorubas anytime they want to be sly because you are not one of them. Igbos do that too but in a different way. I haven't seen anyone who is a yoruba child or igbo child before. Tribes do not have children besides, if igbos express displeasure with that omo ibo nomenclature, continuing to call them that means you are looking for trouble. Refer to people by their names and not omo ibo, omo hausa, omo urhobo etc.

Stop defending someone simply because you share the same religion; She had no reason to call me omo ibo and she continued even when I asked her to stop. The use of "omo ibo" depicts that age old mentality prevalent among Yorubas that people should be defined by the tribe they belong and not by who they are. You can see how that tribal fool who masks as a muslim unleashed that side of her above. I don't even know how she concluded that I am igbo because of the suffix in my name. I don't know how.

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ara oke means what,it does not mean anything sarcastic,its lagosians and ijebus that mostly call others ara oke cos its far far from them,

so calling u omo ibo means no harm cos youre one,okay,is it diff from ibo child?

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Calling someone "omo ibo" is derogatory and if you doubt me, ask igbos here. It's the tribal hatred in you that breeds such language. I don't think Yorubas love it when Igbos call them ofe mmanu or ara oke. I also don't think Hausas love it when Yorubas refer to them as malu.

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U no be omo Ibo? C'mmon claim ur id, it's not about tribalism now.

Anyway, Emeka, tell the truth, ur story was just made up to start trouble.

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No hospital allows that nonsense in America unless they want the patient crying Osama osama. That is pure lie and I thought Islam hates lying?

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I thought Islam is against tribalism?

Also, the vision of those women who wear hijab is severely impaired by the hijab and yes it covers most part of the face living a tiny hole for the poor woman to manage her already compromised vision.

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Hijab does not cover the face. It only covers the head, the neck and ears. Emeka, u dey jump too much. Do your homework before asking questions. And by the way, how many pple got hit by cars simply because they are wearing hijab? You just like to spread rumors, the same way u started this thread about the "Indecency man". I bet u made that story up to start trouble. Na waa for you o, Otoshi eleshe, omo Ibo.

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Most of the hospitals in the U.S do not frown at nurses wearing hijab. As long as you don't do it off and on, because that will probably mean that u are doing it only when u have a bad hair day. Maasha Allah, some Americans are onverting to islam nowadays, most especially the Black Americans. My daughter is married to one, he's so proud to be a muslim, very nice guy too.

I'm the one who prefer hats and scarves to work, hijabs to religious gatherings and of course, gele to social functions.

I belong to the Nigerian Islamic Association of Chicago (NIA).

@ Olabowale

I hear you, Hadji Olabs, and I will try to do as u say. Thank u bro.

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I am not against that. What I am against is covering one's face. Its only Allah that requires people to cover their faces?. Does he want female muslims to be hit by cars?

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Christ has contaminated blood?. Its a pity you can't separate an event in  the physical from the one in the spiritual realm.

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Al Rahman is One of the other 99 praising names of Allah. I thought you will do some research before you start yapping. Oh, sorry. I forgot. You are a Christian and the idea is always talk before thinking. Talking from raw emotion, always.

Even Ohsisi knows that she does not have to be Unclad. Cover some essential parts. And thats saying much considering how loose the people in medicine are when it comes to sex and taking off their cloth. Doctors are just as bad as Niurses, the peoplw qithout any sexual shame.

Islam is not meant for you Emeka if you think there is no restriction to how far you can be uncovered! Yet you love dipping yourself in the jar of 2000 year old blood! Abeg comot.

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No patient wants to be approached by a masked woman. I wouldn't because its scary. Why should a woman cover her face in the first place?

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I JUST WONDER WHY THEY DNT ALLOW NURSES TO USE THEIR HIJAB?west sha with their laws,may GOD deliver them

@Alhaja fayezik,which asalatu do u go,and which masjid do u pray?cos i pray in PLUMSTEAD MASJID,and our asalatu is in abbeywood nextstop after YARNTON WAY,see me o, am talking as if u live in london,sorry jare.

Alhaja, may Allah make it easy for us,I DO USE MY HIJAB 24/7 except at home, ,i love JAMAH PRAYER most

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I JUST WONDER WHY THEY DNT ALLOW NURSES TO USE THEIR HIJAB?west sha with their laws,may GOD deliver them

@Alhaja fayezik,which asalatu do u go,and which masjid do u pray,cos i pray in

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Why do muslims love keeping slaves?. Is slavery not a sin in Islam?

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Do the complete Hijab and Kimar (irun is just part of it, so is the complete orun), for Allah, if your office/job permits it. Olowo ori and you are on the same platform; both are slaves of Al Rahman. May Allah help us all. Amin/

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@ uplawal

Yes, mo ma nlo hijab ti mo ba nlo si asalatu, but ti mo ba nlo si ibi ise mo ma nlo awon fila ti o nice with my uniform (i'm an RN), in short, i don't go out without covering my hair. olowo ori mi nikan ni o ma nri irun mi.

Mo nkirun, it's kind of hard though, especially on the days that I work 7a to 7p. Ki olorun jeki o easy fun wa.

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@na2day,

AWON ALAYENUSO,EMU KOKORO,ETI LEKUN ETE AYENUSO,ELEGEBEYIN KE EJOKO JE O

@ALHAJA FAYEZIK,ASALAMU ALEKUM SISTER,SHE ENLO HIJAB YIN,SHE EDEN KIRUN DADA?

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As far as this thread is concerned, I am thru with u. If u like, u can jump up and down, hit your head on the ceiling, crush ur legs and put ur feet in ur Bottom. Wahala tie niyen, alayonuso!

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at least ur nose is working right, we just have to wait for ur brain to kick in

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Did anyone post a reply to me? I don't think so. See no evil, hear no evil, but Ican smell something. Wonder what that is, oh it's Na2day'azz. Sorry, got to go. Bye.

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@FAYEZIK,wassup babe?

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@Oshisi,u should be happy that ur college girl is doing good and not badmouthing

NO ONE IS ABOVE MISTAKE,Why are u so bothered about an omitted letter,am i writing to u to employ me?anyway

PRO- UNITATE

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Search the net, i got no time for that

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Abuzola, I couldn't find your resurrection story anywhere in daily news. Why not post the link here?

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Osisi won't accept my reconciliation, she sees herself too big , Queen osisi i presume

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oh shut up! muslim council my azz

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Ohsisi, this was a sis to sis conversation between I and Uplawal, I did not invite ur mouth. U cannot mess with anyone in the 'Muslim United Council'. I beg, put your mouth where it belongs, why u come dey open ur mouth and blowing stinking air at my dear sister.

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It is the devil in the Ghost worshippers

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Maybe you're thinking of your shacking up mate while typing

The word is fill not feel you dirty minded girl

A new Bussa babe should be above this sort of embarassment,did you get in there by work work man know man

abi na Northerner teach una English?

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@OSHISHI,WANNA HEAR AGAIN FOOL, i had my secondary education in FGGC NEW BUSSA and my degree at ogun state university

@OSHISHI,D SADIST!

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@osissi,poo parker,see who is judging?cos of one letter missing shes let HERHELL loosed

I URGE YOU TO SPEND YOUR MISERABLE NIGHT TO FEEL THE HIGHLIGHTED ONES UP,FOOL,SHAMELESS GOAT OF NEWYORK,

IS IT NOT A SAD NEWS FOR YOU TO HEAR THAT UPLAWAL IS MARRIED TO THE MUSLIMGUY AND WORKS AS A PROJECT MANAGER,,VERY UNFORTUNATE GIRL

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@oshishi,OLODO,is there any agbero thats even polished before?am sure you were sleeping when u wrote it

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@Oshishi oshi,you see yourself,very unfortunate fellow,you think am one of your sisters here that are struglling to make ends meet,keep making fool of yourself and hope you know readers would definately discern who fits to be called AGBERO MUSHIN OLOSHA GIRL between both of US,if you care to know,i have my papers,married and works as project manager if thats what you wanna know

HYPOCRITE OSHI,VERY RAZZ TO EVEN BE CALLED A WIFE

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