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What Is a Healthy, Successful Marriage Like?

MARRIAGE LINKS US TO ANOTHER,BUT IT'S UP TO US TO DECIDE HOW WE WILL USE THAT LINK.IF WE CHOOSE,WE CAN TURN THAT LINK INTO A TUG-OF-WAR.ALL WE NEED TO DO IS FACE EACH OTHER,DIG OUR HEELS INTO THE DIRT,AND PIT ALL OUR STRENGTH AGAINST THE OTHER PERSON.THERE ISN'T MUCH FORWARD MOTION,BUT WHAT LITTLE MOTION THERE IS WILL DRAG SOMEONE INTO THE MUD.THE SAD THING IS, IN THE END THE WINNER STANDS ALONE.BUT MARRIAGE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE THAT WAY.WE CAN JOIN HANDS ACROSS THE LINK OF MARRIAGE AND FORM A PARTNERSHIP. WE CAN MARCH FORWARD TOGETHER AND PUT OUR UNITED STRENGTH INTO THE JOB AT HAND.AS A TEAM,TWO STRONG PEOPLE CAN DO A POWERFUL LOT OF WORK AND THEY FINISH TOGETHER.

IT ALL BEGAN WHEN GOD LOOKED AT THE THEN-PERFECT PERSON HE HAD MADE AND SAID,"IT ISN'T GOOD FOR THE MAN TO LIVE ALONE"(GENESIS 2:18).SO GOD CREATED WOMAN AND WITH HER THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE.

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good points Chris.

Hence my argument in your concluding statement. I think that a healthy and successful marriage is one where the couples know that difficult times in this life are far better hurdled when you have a true team synergy to draw from - the strongest of which should be a solid, faith in their capacity to excel as a couple.

You couldn't have measured this without years of experience of being together.

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Looking at amazing couples I have met, although I am inexperienced in this area but I like to think that Marriage like life is a journey one that is traveled better with a loving and willing partner, a journey with roads that have the bumps of the benin-lagos highway but also a lot of the bliss you can find on the Lokoja Abuja highway.

Both couples understand what it means to rise from the ashes because THAT is what builds the greatest character. They see and appreciate the good that always comes in spite of the bad, know how to pick their battles and can discern the important things from the trivial ones. They know how important it is to forgive and to be forgiven because there's no crystal ball that tells us ahead of time which of the two partners in crime will need the support the most.

Like my parents I think that a healthy and successful marriage is one where the couples know that difficult times in this life are far better hurdled when you have a true team synergy to draw from - the strongest of which should be a solid, faith in their capacity to excel as a couple.

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If they didn't marry praise God.That's what courtship is supposed to do,to open ones's eyes and make him/her make an informed decision.

Regarding the later part,of course you don't expect a 2 paragraph post to define causes of divorce.

Take it or leave it,a good marriage starts from courtship.I happen to be speaking from experience,I have no idea what makes you think your barometer for measuring marriage is the right one.

Are you married?

The thread asks what a healthy marriage is like and you're telling us it takes donkey years to determine if a marriage is a good one or not.

So someone married for say 3 or 5 years is still in a limbo stage since the marriage has not reached the point of determining where it stands?

abeg

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In response, I don't think that there is particular way to guage a healthy marriage before the marriage even starts.

I know people who did everything you describe yet did not marry each other or even worse, got and are now divorced.

Marriage is about luck and willingness to be selfless, people change and often times realize that they can deal with many of the problems/issues as no marriage is perfect.

But as I stated previously, there is an apparent way to guage a succesfull marriage and that is after years of being together. When the couples have the opportunity to reflect on thier expereinces.

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A healthy marriage starts at courtship.

You must know the person you're getting into a relationship with.

I don't mean knowing him in the biblical sense but being open to one another.

Talk

what are your plans

what are your expectations

what are your weaknesses?

Can you sincerely say you love this individual enough to spend the rest of your life with them?

Do you love him in his/her situation right now or for what you're expecting him/her to become?

Getting into marriage with projected financial expectations is disastrous

It's the cause of many a frustration.

we all know that financial stress is up there in reasons for divorce

marrying a woman hoping she'll become a nurse in the USA

Or marrying a man with an expectation that his business deals will soon produce millions.

Then you later find out she hates the smell of hospitals or he loses all he has in the business venture.

Are you ready to tough it out at those unpleasant times?

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So I suggest, take your time examining your mate. Don't rush or even better, don't get married as Paul advises in the book of corithians.

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Yes I understand you all I can say is that the devil is at work like the bible exposed him that he only came to kill still and detroy but as human beings we need to be a little bit more alert to his devices. Again as I encourage people grab

as much information as possible to the one whom you want to marry although you don't know people very well but there are basic things that you can hold unto that does not fade away easily in people

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I am not disputing the fact of what you have just explained but my key point is that if one can happily say in the mist of it all I will still choose this same man/woman over and over again that is paradise for me on earth

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Marriage is nothing like paradise on earth - please dont think that way so that you wont be disappointed.

It is not as easy and blissful as some like to paint it. It could be very frustrating especially at the beginning but it gets better with time especially if both parties are of one accord and they have unity of purpose and vision. It takes more than what we call love for marriage to work successfully. A lot of patience has to be exercised and it will turn out right.

In my opinion, it's extremely important that both partners have singleness of purpose, vision and beliefs. It helps to keep both parties having same focus and singleness of mind.

It's one of the reasons I advise people not to enter into inter-racial marriages because there'll come a time when that great difference will rear it's head and the partners will not be able to deal with it because they see things differently. it will sound unreal to most people until they get into the marriage and they regret it - I have seen it happen too many times.

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Basically, what god has put together, no one shall (and can) put asunder. This is what it is about.

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Two best friends, sharing, caring, loving and growing together in grace and the love of Christ.

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Is like paradise on earth. It is what you make out of it too two poeple coming from different background building a home

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