Rudeness and aggressiveness are the sticking points, which cause negative emotions during the communication.
Angry boss, unfair mother-in-law, grumbling passers-by... We face with such difficult people on a daily basis. How to communicate with them?
In the book "How to Deal with Your Difficult People" Allen Uele tells how we can improve our daily relationships. We offer you an excerpt from this book, recommendations, and practical exercises that will teach you the right way how to communicate and get along better with other people - clients, colleagues and family relatives.
Humor and peace of mind
The first condition for confronting difficult people is not to succumb to their provocations, putting your internal security on in order to develop their sense of humor. Yes, this is possible even in dealing with difficult people!
But first - a little self-examination. For some of us there are no difficult people. They are able to remain unperturbed, to soften the fiercest "dragons" and to achieve what they need, while maintaining respect for others. What is their secret?
In our life the surrounding us people play the role of a mirror, which reflects the fact how we represent ourselves at the moment, who we are. It is very often that we can meet difficult people because we are very difficult persons and because we unknowingly reject this personality character. Ask yourself honestly, if you are not the one you intended.
Ways how to deal with that:
Try to accept yourself for what you are, without trying all the time to be the best. There is no need to be confident in yourself and in others, as such behavior causes irritation and rejection.
If someone's behavior is shocking to you, ignore it, especially if it does not concern you directly. "By showing that you are offended, you occupy the position of the victim and automatically get into a humiliating situation. This will prevent you from gaining the upper hand in a collision with a difficult person. Try to say to your heart, "So what?".
Try to improve your appearance. You will leave the impression of less compliant if you keep track of your appearance. Do not forget that to make an impression you have only one try, the first time, and this, the first impression, "freezes" in the eyes of your interlocutor. This impression often forms the basis of persecution or termination of the relationship.
Learn how to say "no" without fear of being rejected, politely and firmly. You will see that sophisticated people will respect you more so if you avoid frequent lies.
READ ALSO: How to improve communication skills?
Rebuff to aggressive people
These are the real road-rollers, in the movement to victory, they rely on the interlocutors’ reaction that their behavior causes. Fright, confusion, stumbling, trembling - in any case, the emotions that take away the ability to deliver snapper in his place. "Never forget that these people barely tolerate to their own aggressiveness and that they rarely have moments of fun.
How to behave when you meet with an aggressive person?
1. Do not give him an inch, he knows exactly what effect he has on people's behavior. He wins, putting them fear. Bring calmness to the aggression and the attack will be thwarted. Do not resent bitterly and, moreover, do not make excuses. Move the discussion in a more concrete plan, down to earth, and logic.
2. Give your aggressive interlocutor to become calm and force him to justify his behavior. For example, tell the extremely unpleasant client: "I would like you to explain why you think our services are so appalling. I am very interested in your point of view as a customer. Let me bring you coffee, so you can explain it in detail. "
3. Look for ways to discharge. An aggressive person likes to be in opposition to somebody. By refusing to play his game and agreeing with his position, you bring him into confusion. "If you want, I'll call the director, and you will give him your point of view." You have not given yourself confused, and the director will be as adamant as you are. The aggressive client, who is shaken by your composure, would not bother your boss for fear of losing face, and would reconsider her position.
One more point that will help you
Humor helps to avoid the type of relationship the winner - the loser. Humor allows you to see things from a distance, relieving the severity. When you lose something that you think is valuable, it's such a tragedy! But if you manage to laugh, then the loss turns around for a comedy, a farce. You'll come away from the reality, moving away to the saving distance.
Humor is ideal for:
- say something without offending the other;
- reformulate the problem, which can’t be solved;
- get people, that have remained deaf, to hear you;
- encourage someone, regardless of age and situation;
- start over stalled negotiations.
- READ ALSO: Is It Rude To Speak Your Language Openly In Public?
- READ ALSO: How to improve communication skills?