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Africans: Why?: Oh Why?

It baffles me why Africans living abroad are always looking for each others downfall , especially in work places.  I have observed that most Africans , especially Nigerians, are always jealous when u are making a progress far ahead of the others in a work place, and they will direct all their malicious whims and caprices at making you fall.

What i am wondering is - Our African people don't get bothered if it is his british coleague who is making a progress in their work place, but as soon as an African like him is getting all the patts on the back, His feelings of hate balloons up, and he will stop at nothing to destroy him. WHY

Another thing i also don't understand is this - Why is it that most African ladies always like to threaten their men , whether boyfriend, or hubby with calling the Immigration Enforcement Authorities at him, anytime a slight disagreement happens between them. I observe that this don't happen when you are dating a British citizen , whether white or black. The worst the Brit will do when u offend her ,is she wont want to have anything to do with you again, no matter how much you plead.

Do African women see their gaining permanent residency abroad as some form of power and control over their partner

I ve also come accross a lot of african ladies on dating sites with screaming instructions -BRITISH /CARRRIBEANS ONLY PLS, SORRY, I DONT DO  AFRICANS!!!! 

This are cases that happen day-in-day-out, that i have heared about here in the UK.

Other cultures stay in unison, especially people from the Carribean, why are africans different ? This is the reason why most Nigerians in the UK will not keep their country men as friends, same goes for other African countries.

The other time, at the last Notting Hill carnival, i met a friend with whom I did NYSC Nigeria, and we chatted about old times and even exchanged numbers. After that ,she wont pick my calls , and wont call me either. I soon found out its the order of the day arround here, because i ve met a lot of other long-lost friends, who has done the same. So i don't bother taking pples numbers anymore, because Nigerians don't like to keep Nigerian friends abroad- and i don't blame them!!

I think its about time we talked about this lack of unison among Africans in diaspora, especially in the UK.

Please comment.

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9 answers

I have to speak for myself again, it could be the vibe she got from you despite your friendly exterior. I've learnt that we tend to blame other people for undesirable situations forgetting we have work to do with our own approach to people.

No. But at the same time you shouldn't readily conclude on that either.

giorgie those things you mentioned are not far from the truth. Yes we shouldn't generalize but in a situation where the negatives surpass the positives associated to a Nigerian, I don't blame anyone for being wary with a Nigerian. We should be concerned about getting rid of these stereotypes, then unity can come into play.

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Other people have also complained about meeting friends who don't like making contacts afterwards. Can it be said to be the same reservations[i] not based on the Nigerians don't want to have anything to do with Nigerians thingy[/i]?

In my own opinion, she wasnt going to saddle herself with unnecessary troubles that may be envisaged from a typical Nigerian. If its not jealousy, its got to be credit card fraud palaver, back-biting, or mr A said this about mrs B.

Now, i am not saying all Nigerians are like that . Of course there are a few broad-minded , and deep-thinking ones, but most are but troubles, at an arms length. So she probably, made a mistake of concluding that i am a typical Nigerian, and since she doesnt want any more troubles than i wish her, she refused to have anything to do with me, lol.

The reason i wont blame them for not wanting to have anything to do with fellow country men, is what i ve just explained above , as well as in my introductory post .

So, if African people, especially Nigerians can just do without all these despicable attitudes, and corruption that we have hitherto accepted as a way of life, i think these reservations will be a thing of the past and there wont be fears of dealing with brothers - hence unison.

Do u agree, dear Stillwater?

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I apologise if I come across as harsh, however I do not find my post contradictory. From your first post you were quick to make assumptions on the girl who didn't pick up your calls as not wanting to have anything to do with you because you're African, that's why I thought it fit to tell you how someone like me feel about friendships generally, which is more based on character and personality rather than where one comes from. The girl in question might have had certain reservations not based on the Nigerians don't want to have anything to do with Nigerians thingy(sorry if my words are not soothing enough).

Moreover, in my second paragraph, I listed to you the reasons why some Africans have inhibitions when it comes to posing a united front. Is that self explanatory enough?

Can you give me reasons why you don't blame them?

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@ stillwater

.

Because it did not just start today, are you saying we should therefore accept it as normal ?

You seem to be contradicting yourself a lot in your last post stillwater.

    In your first paragraph, a quick summary tells me that when u cited yourself as an example of an african who make acquiantances  based on personalities, and not nationalities, u are invariably representing majority of africans.Suffice to say  that most africans are as broadminded as u, and will make acquiantances with any nationality, even if its a fellow african. It can therefore be deduced from your first paragraph that u do not share my observation of africans refusing to make acquaintances with each other.

    Moving to your second and third paragraphs however, your quote is as follows ;

  It therefore leaves me wondering , really , what exactly your point is, as you keep swaying both right and left.

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lol, abeg stillwater, oya come make we unite ooooo, afterall charity begins at home, lol.

@ lucrabasi

I see a lot of sense in your post.

have u had an experience with Nigerians/africans worth sharing?

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Maybe it depends who you know?

In my experience I've found Nigerians here in the UK to be a very tight group - they seem to mainly socialise with other Nigerians. I went to a wedding of a young man (my partner is friends with their parents) who has pretty much grown up here, went to school, college and university here, and out of over 200 guests I was the only non-Nigerian. All his own friends were also Nigerians. I found that very odd - so many years here and not one English friend?

My partner still sees many people he was at school with 40 years ago and they are a very tight 'network' internationally, staying in contact with people in Nigeria, Europe, UK, the US, Saudi etc.

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@ stillwater.

Please explain to me ;

Why should focusing on the reason why i left Nigeria be important to me?

And of what relevance is this suggestion to my topic?

We are talking about embracing unison and love amongst people here, which is a normal thing , just like in every other race i ve come accross, so what is the triviality about it?

I need more break down from you pls.

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giorgie, forget all this trivial issues and focus on why you left Nigeria in the first place. I don't live around Nigerians or Africans, I don't visit dating sites, so I don't know what you're talking about, sorry.

About the lack of unison in Africans, it did not start today.

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Who's to say that, that mentality wasn't carried along to overseas? Or did this behaviour suddenly appear as soon as they left the shores of the motherland?

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